So, I bet you're wondering what the hell I'm doing sitting here. I'm sorry if I startled
you. Well, there's just some things that need to be said. Really, I'm just using you. Yeah.
Yeah, you're like my psychiatrist. Not to say I'm mad or anything. Just got a lot of
shit that I need to get off my chest. Sorry, Harry, I'm trying to pull my soul out to you all
and you don't even know my name. Well, I'm Jennifer, born in Sheffield, the United Kingdom,
and released into the world in February of the 27th.
Then I met my parents, took my first steps, said my first word. I started school. When I had
my first boyfriend, got my first job. The first time I lost somewhere alone. Then the first
breakup. I had my second boyfriend. Took my first drink. The first time I got drunk. Oh my God,
that was embarrassing. The first infidelity. My first rejection. Found my favourite place.
My first sexual experience. Then the first time that I felt loved.
The first time I fell in love. You tell me every day it felt great. We used to do everything
together. We would enjoy our walks out together.
We used to have a lot of fun.
And it felt so good because I never felt so close to anyone.
Then over the months, things started to change.
There's three magic words I heard less and less. We hardly ever spoke or went out.
He was unemployed and staying in my apartment. Married material or what?
He used my money because he had none of his own.
He would come back late, either drunk or just not wanting to speak to me.
I took a look at his phone, thought something was up, saw these texts to another girl.
And that was the first time that I felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
I mean, he made me look like a right mug.
So I confronted him.
And that was the first time that he hit me.
He said I shouldn't have been looking through his phone, that it was none of my business.
And I apologise like the week's stupid fool that I was.
I took him back as well, pathetic, I bet you wonder why.
Because I thought in my little dream world it was love.
Now I realise that the only reason I thought it was love was because he said it so much to me.
I know he wasn't the last time he hit me, became regular.
He stopped me from contacting my friends like I used to.
Ever came home late, he would accuse me of cheating.
I was afraid to give it to my family because honestly I didn't want them knowing what I was living like.
I put on a brave face every day because I feared people's pity on me.
Over the course of time I just tried to keep justifying why I needed to stay with him.
Until I couldn't think of any excuses anymore, but still I stayed and I kept thinking, why?
It felt like it would never end.
I ended up in hospital, he beat me so bad.
Every inch of my body ached, it was the worst feeling in the world.
I know he's crawling back to her, that stanky that he's been texting.
It's alright, I know now that I didn't really love him.
I've never felt so used and so hurting all my life.
I got out and I just thought, I don't want to live in a world like this with
shit people and where shit things are happening.
And that's when I had the profound realisation sitting in that hospital bed where everything made
sense. No more keeping up appearances, wearing a smile when I'm feeling down, no more being weak,
no more being afraid.
I got that bastard back for every bit of pain that caused me and I came out of that hella strong
person. Life will be good from now on, I just know it.
A whole year on within out my life, I took up a new hobby.
I got that bastard back for every bit of pain that caused me and I came out of that hella strong
person.
I got that bastard back for every bit of pain that caused me and I came out of that hella strong
person.
