Do you eat ass?
Hey everyone, welcome to the Sugar Cookie Show!
I would tell you what episode this is except due to a democratic vote,
the officers decided that I am no longer allowed to list episodes.
I kind of don't like that, but I am a fair and righteous ruler of the office.
So we're going to start off the week with a nice comment of the week.
The nice comment goes to
Duan the Asian on Instagram who posted a picture of me and Khomeina Largo
and he said, like if you're going to go fap now and fail at the no-fap November,
which I thought was a compliment.
I don't really understand what no-fap November is.
I know that no-fap means no masturbating
and I guess people challenge themselves to not masturbate for the month of November,
but I'm not really sure why,
because November is also post-date cancer awareness month
and everyone should know that masturbating is actually a really good way of helping
to prevent post-date cancer.
This week we have some really interesting news.
First of all, I have got a YouTube channel back up and going,
so hopefully this time YouTube won't delete me.
This week I also wrote about the rise in young men using ED pills,
that is erectile dysfunction pills.
First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with using erectile dysfunction pills
if you have erectile dysfunction.
It's actually very good and it can really help.
However, in a survey that I did on my website,
it turns out that less than 50% of men are getting their ED pills from a doctor.
That means that over 50% are getting pills from very dangerous methods.
The important thing about erectile dysfunction pills, such as Viagra,
is that you need to go to a doctor to get a prescription
because your doctor will do a lot of tests on you,
looking at your blood pressure, your kidney, your liver,
because the medication will have effects on your body
and it could be very dangerous if you're not compatible with it.
I can understand why guys are using ED pills
because you want a better erection, you want to last longer,
you want to be able to reload in like 10 minutes.
That's fine and I understand where you want that from,
but it's just really dangerous and we should just learn to be more educated in the risks.
And you know, if you're at a party and some guy offers you Viagra, just say no.
So the dumb comment of the week goes to Dick God,
who managed to have an entire conversation with himself on one of my Instagram posts.
It was actually a rollercoaster of the ride and what he said was,
first of all, looking for a big titty goth girlfriend,
all applicable big titty goth girls DM me.
I'm not a big titty goth girl, so it seems really inappropriate to write that on my...
Oh no, no, it seems like the wrong place to write it on my Instagram.
And then he replied to himself,
no one is going to message you bro.
Damn, friend zoned again.
Sorry man, it's okay.
Do you eat ass?
Of course, it's 2017, who doesn't eat ass?
True, true lamow.
I'll eat your ass.
Damn, on my way.
Basically, he had a whole conversation where first of all,
he was asking for big titty goth girls to apply for his girlfriend.
So then he told himself that no one's going to reply.
And then apparently he friend zoned himself and then cheered himself up.
And then asked if he ate ass, replied that he eats ass,
offered to eat his own ass and then went on a journey to himself to eat his own ass.
Which I guess is a happy ending.
The sex fact of the week is that 33% of British women believe you can prevent pregnancy
by jumping up and down immediately after sex.
I understand the logic in the weird way, you know, you're jumping up and maybe the sperm will fall out.
But at the same time, it's kind of like cocktail mixing.
What if you just shoot the sperm straight back up there and you get pregnant faster?
That wouldn't happen because that's not how physics works.
You're no more than that.
I cannot get, oh my god.
My mom's FaceTiming me.
Hi.
Oh, mommy, I miss you so much, you look beautiful.
Thank you, mom.
I'm just at work, mom.
Can I call you back, please?
No, one minute to see him, you're okay.
Mom, can you call later then?
Okay, I promise I will phone you as soon as I can, okay?
Okay, he's here.
One minute, one minute, one minute here.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I am.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm fine, too.
I'm fine, too.
I'm fine, too.
I'm fine, too.
I'm fine, too.
I'm fine, too.
I'm fine, too.
Bye, mom.
Just my mom introducing me to some other Vietnamese guy on FaceTime,
because he's really handsome.
If you want to prevent pregnancy, use birth control, use condoms,
jumping up and down right after sex,
it's not going to prevent babies.
It's about as efficient as how the ancient Egyptians
used the crocodile dung to prevent pregnancies.
It neither method works, okay?
So let's be careful there.
That is all I've got for this week,
because my mom FaceTiming totally threw me off.
Okay, I will see you guys next time.
Bye.
