I can't believe you're 30. It seems just like yesterday I was wiping your little tishy.
Come on, Mom. I've been wiping my tishy for several years now.
I know that, Tommy. I wish you had your own little babies running around. You're not getting any younger, mister.
It's the last thing I need right now, Mom. I know of lacking a necessary piece of the puzzle, too.
I know, Tommy. You're such a sweet boy. You'll find a nice girl. Are you coming home over Easter?
Of course. I've got to figure out my flights, but it's a couple months away yet. I'll be there.
Alright, sweetie. It was nice talking to you. Your father says hello. I love you.
I love you, Mom. Bye.
Happy birthday, Tom.
Oh, thanks. I suppose.
Oh, buck up, mister. I hear 30 is the new 20.
What? Does that make 25 the new 15? I guess we shouldn't go for drinks after work, then, huh?
Yeah, that would be inappropriate on a couple of different levels.
I guess I should get to work. Can't break on your birthday, huh?
Not around here.
Hey, how does that thing go with your cat? Is the Chan man feeling alright?
Channing Tate is still pretty sick, but he's feeling better. I'll let him know you asked about him.
I'll let him know.
I'll let him know.
Hey, Tom, do you want to go try that new Mexican place? Damn it.
I should see your mothers. Hey. Hey, Tom. How are you doing, amigo?
Good. What's going on here, man?
This piece of gold dang is inspecting my place.
Telling me that I need the cream better. What a son of a bitch.
Well, I'll have my usual.
Listen, I can no longer for the next one week. This pendejo tells me that I'm violating 17 sections of the health code.
I can no make tacos until I fix this.
Oh, but not even one taco?
No, sir, not even one taco. You're putting your life at risk just by being in this cesspit.
Cesspit? Cesspit?
This is my place always. What the fuck is wrong with you?
You weren't closed, man.
Get it out.
I'm going to find some more self-launcher rates, Keo.
Keel hombre, adios.
Hey, you put that down before I knock your life out.
So that you can eat me.
Oh, if nothing can save me.
I thought I had it, baby, thought I had it.
That's all I had to do, yeah.
It's time to benefit from the benefits.
Everything is life, it's everything.
All that be?
I'll, uh, have a lunch special.
What?
Two tacos, please.
And a drink? We have bud for $4.25.
Just a coke.
All right.
To the plant.
So I, I can pull through.
Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.
So I...
I can't tell if it's a shitter or a piss.
How you doing, fella?
I've seen you here before.
First time.
Tonko's here any good?
I'm here for the atmosphere.
The drinks, of course.
Good talk.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, perverts of all legal ages, it's the power hour here
at The Dirty Bird, so please welcome back to the stage, Candy.
Hey cutie, I haven't seen you here before. How are the tacos?
I actually haven't tried them yet. They smell good though.
I'm so hungry. I wish I could have a taco.
I will buy you a taco. I mean, if you want, I might as well stay for another round.
Really? You'd buy me lunch?
Tom, oh my god, where were you? You're late.
Tom. Tom.
Where were you? You're late.
Oh, I found a new taco spot.
The tacos there were...
Oh, I found a new taco spot.
The tacos there were amazing.
What? What about takeos? You've been working here for almost three years,
and I can't remember the last time you got your lunch anywhere else.
Oh, it was closed.
That's it? Your favorite place in the whole world is closed, and that's all you can muster?
Seriously?
Hey, so do you want to go see that movie you were telling me about the other day?
What's it called? The Dreamer? I see posters for it everywhere.
Oh, yeah. No, I have to go and do something else.
I know you've told you it is.
That's the name of the game.
It's time to steal it back from them kids.
I heard all the excuses before.
They didn't want you to stay like that.
That's the name.
Frank, how's it going?
Guys, what's up?
What?
We're too slow, you guys.
Who's that for?
It's a really expensive necklace, Tom. Who's it for?
That's none of your business, Sally.
It's...
It's for a friend.
You know, come by for lunch?
I've been open for three days now.
It's Kale. Hey man, I found a new place for lunch. The tacos there are really good.
New place for a lunch?
What do you mean, new place for a lunch? Really good tacos?
You've been coming here every day for three years, every day, the same thing.
How do you just change like that, Tom?
I'm sorry to Kale. I'm running late. I just go.
You'll be back, Tommy. You'll be back.
You cannot resist the cold of my tortillas.
Hey, have you seen Tom?
He just walked that way.
Did he seem weird to you?
He kind of looked like he wasn't himself. Like, he was thinking about something else.
Maybe he's doing something weird. I don't know. Let's follow him.
Who wants to see some titties?
Put your hands together for Kaelin Candy.
Have you seen Candy?
Busy place, Sherlock Holmes. Find it yourself.
Hey Candy, how are you doing?
I'm good, Tom. How are you today?
I'm good. Do you want to join me?
Sorry, Han. I'm busy today, so unless you want to buy a dance, you've got to keep moving.
It's been a while since I've been this busy.
Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you later, though, right?
I'm going to buy a dance. Come on.
Can't pull shit like that in here, Tom. You really going to buy a dance?
Yeah. Let's go.
There's no touching in here, Tom.
Could you just sit for a second? I want to talk to you about something.
What do you want to talk about?
I know it feels like we're just mad, but...
What the hell is that?
I'm just letting it finish. I know I don't know you that well, but I want to get to know you better.
What the hell is that? Did you buy me jewelry?
Can you hold on a second? Look, I'm just trying to ask if you want to be my girlfriend.
I know it's sudden, but I've never met anyone like you and felt a connection.
You're sweet. You're a sweet guy, but...
I'm a stripper. I paid attention to you because I got a few free lunches out of the deal and it was dead in here.
I'm actually dating the bouncer, you know, Chris? You're not really my type.
So, that's a no? So what? It was all just an act?
All the chatting? All the flirting? You were just using me?
You need to calm down.
I spent $400 on a necklace for a stripper because I was dumb enough to think which way...
Is everything good in here, babe?
Babe? Babe? So this is Chris? Of course it is with his jean jacket and that face.
Get me sick.
Yo, Robi Won Kenobi. Watch the attitude.
Robi Won Kenobi? Oh, it's obvious you're with this guy for his overwhelming intellectual gifts.
Where'd you go to school? Harvard? Yale? Shit.
Tom? Tom? I think he's dead. Oh my god. Why did you punch him, you dick?
It's cool, man. I would have knocked his ass out, too.
Take care of how we get him out of here.
You're both assholes.
Tom, this is the last time I'm going to call you. It's been three days since you've been at work and Mr. Johnson has been very understanding.
But he said today that if you don't call him or come in tomorrow, you can find another job.
Tom, just call me, okay?
Tommy, my man. Why are you not coming to my place? The answer is we saw what happened at the club.
Man, fuck them and fuck whoever did that to you, right, amigo? You come down and I'll get out of blood on the house.
I don't want to date you.
Okay, Tom.
Hey, Tom. How's it going? You look like crap.
Thanks. I feel great.
Do you want to talk about what happened?
Talk about what? Oh, you mean how that stripper took a dump all over my heart and got her boyfriend to kick my ass? Yeah, I'm good.
So you got rejected. So what? Get over it. Move on.
Just move on? That's it, eh? I just need to move on? What the hell do you know about this kind of thing anyway, Sally?
I know it wasn't easy what you did. Telling somebody you have feelings for them, putting your heart out there.
And I know how much it sucks when you find out that the person you love has feelings for somebody else.
Sally, I don't need the lecture. Is there even a point to this? What are you talking about?
You, you idiot. I've been asking you out for weeks, and you just, you're too oblivious and caught up in your own little bullshit world to even acknowledge me.
Jesus, Tom!
Fuck this place.
Is there someone there? You better not try any shit. You better come out before I pepper spray you.
Candy, hey, how are you? Jesus, Tom, what are you doing here?
I don't know, I just started walking and the next thing you know I'm crouching next to a dumpster.
I guess I owe you an apology. I was, we had a line the other day.
Yeah, you were.
I don't know what I was thinking. I just, you, you're so nice and cool and you're hot, like really hot.
And you took your clothes off and that's just awesome.
What? You didn't learn your lesson, bromiel? You're looking for another beat down? Chris, you don't understand.
I just came to apologize. I hate them, bro, so I'm a bin laden.
You're going to apologize after I beat your ass, you creepy stalker bitch.
What the hell?
You really put him down.
So, dummy, you want to go get some tacos? I know a place.
Sure, I'll buy. It's not every day you get to pay somebody back for saving your life.
I know that it seems like I think that I've been hit the rock with your whole feet.
Take two. Take one.
No, sir, not even one taco. You're putting your life at risk just like being in this place.
Not even one taco. You're putting your life at risk just like being in this place.
It's kind of like a cesspit.
Hand cut. We'll cut on a broken ankle.
Babe, this is for us.
Not even one Kenobi. I just interrupted your line.
He doesn't look in focus.
That was close.
Hand cut.
Shot E2. Take two.
Take a cold brush before you got here.
So in it.
What?
Keep rollin'.
Keep rollin'?
Hey, have you seen Candy?
Pretty busy place, bro.
Find yourself Sherlock Holmes.
I could probably say that in English.
Cut.
We'll go again, yeah.
Pretty busy place.
Hey, have you seen Candy?
Pretty busy place.
Fuck.
Reset it.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Pretty reset it.
Keep rolling.
Ready?
Sorry.
Sorry.
I saw him a bit loud.
I saw him a bit, fuck.
I just, fuck.
It's okay.
I saw him, fuck.
It's okay. Use it.
Okay.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oh, Adam.
What are you doing?
Stop the rest of me.
Oh, yeah.
You creepy stalker bitch.
Maybe a little fast.
