It sucks that fall is here.
It's hard to really be excited about a season when everything is dying, but folks love it.
Does no one realize that this is a turning point?
We won't see another breath of life in the world for like six months.
You know those weird bugs flying around in the summer?
Yup, that's them on the ground.
That's the crunching sound now under your feet as you walk.
What, you thought it was the shitty leaves?
Wet leaves don't make a crunch, they make a swoosh dude.
Yup, bugs.
Sorry to all the now heavily-sweatered ladies, but it's true.
Sweater weather is another thing.
Does comfort even exist in this season?
I put on a sweater and sweat my nuts off.
I take it off, and those same nuts now can't decide what part of my body to hide in, because
the whole cavity is frozen.
It's a great season if you're a caribou, I suppose.
It feels like there's way too many holidays too, doesn't it?
I mean, Thanksgiving is good if you can get home to your family, and if your family doesn't
fight.
Halloween is great if you can get a good costume and find a non-awkward party.
Black Friday, you can get cheap shit for cheaper as long as you don't run into that Walmart
mom, or usually more accurately, Walrus mom.
You know the chick that's fighting for that last combo VCR-DVD player?
Nobody even uses those anymore, lady.
Heyo...
Winner's gonna suck.
