We are at the mall. This is the Mall of America now. We're on a spiritual quest.
What are we doing here?
We just decided, you know, we got a little spring fever.
Got the hell out of the bunker for a while.
Decided to come down here in this great dance pile of humanity, the Mall of America.
And we're going to see what it is we can find.
There's got to be something redeeming about this place.
So you think just one thing...
Well, since we had that dream.
Yeah. Been dreaming about malls lately.
There's something.
So we're just going to walk around and see what it is we can find if anything at all.
And also, let's just keep our eyes open for the free cheese.
Okay.
Where is it?
I do want to get that free cheese.
What are we doing here?
We're looking for free cheese.
We're looking for free cheese and pretzels.
That's it?
We're in the society.
Yeah, I know. It's kind of weird, right? Coming out of the bunker and here we are.
Well, just look at all these. This is like a busy day.
I swear it's like two days.
You know, in ancient civilizations and things like that, they have like standing stones and models.
This is our version of the monolith.
This is where we come to for guidance.
The monolith?
This is the monolith in America.
Here in the Cathedral of Capitalism.
And there's metamorphosis, so I think it's probably the first place we should go to.
Yeah.
I do want to get that free cheese.
What are we doing here?
We're looking for free cheese.
We're looking for free cheese.
Free cheese and pretzels.
That's it?
Yeah.
Are we going to go in there?
Let's check it out.
I think we should go in there.
I'm a little nervous.
I'm a little nervous when I wait till later to go in there.
Can you check this out?
I was going to get you up there.
Look at all these.
It's like crucified crosses.
We'll see then.
It's like they crucified a bunch of crosses.
Look at that.
That's a symbol we handed on our top of.
This isn't the introduction to our top of that symbol.
These delusions of grandeur led into blue and we're one of the city's sacred vessel versions.
Hi.
How are you?
Yeah, I am.
Okay.
Oh, no, sunglasses.
So you're in Grace Church?
Uh-huh.
Have you been finding much spirituality here in the mall?
Oh, yeah.
No.
There are some crucifixes in the spirit of the Red Horror.
Really?
Yeah.
Let's go check that out.
We'll love you tomorrow.
All right.
See ya.
My muscles.
Have fun.
Getting hungry?
That free cheese is pretty good.
It's an eyewitness calendar for 2001.
How can you have an eyewitness calendar for a year?
It hasn't even happened yet.
It hasn't even happened yet.
I wish.
How is that possible?
It must be like messages from the future, right?
Or is there a lizard?
This is, I think, what I need.
A complete idiot's guide to angels.
Let's see.
It's a quick and easy guidance on angelic traditions all over the world.
The proof steps on knowing the roles of the angels in the Bible.
Now, this is funny.
It's about angels down to earth and above.
I like that.
How do angels can inspire your spiritual life?
This is down to earth spirituality right here.
Inspirational cooking.
Check it out.
Everyday enlightenment.
Here.
What's your name?
Everyday enlightenment.
This is the book for us very close.
It's a good journal.
Let's see where I open it and see what we have.
The end.
Life's a little deconstruction book.
Life's a little deconstruction book.
That's you, dude.
It's you, too.
99 something.
What do you point in?
The special value.
Spirituality on something.
I wanted to deconstruct my spirituality.
This is something that we really stumbled across here.
It's these complete idiots guides.
This is better than just for dummies, right?
This is idiots.
And they're always idiot proof.
Idiot proof steps to contacting spirits from the beyond.
Now, it's idiot proof.
So anyone can do it.
It doesn't say what happens if you are not an idiot, though.
Again, down to earth advice on recognizing the karma of your numbers.
This is real.
Reality is just an illusion.
But television is real.
America, do you have those costume people anymore?
No.
I almost did.
I was gonna work here as a stone.
Oh, I have.
You know what I mean?
I don't know about that.
I know we have mermaids.
Mermaids?
You're gonna be a mermaid?
Yeah.
In the summer time, we have mermaids.
Check it out.
It's a brute carnival.
When he fought out.
Do you know that this place is a circle
within a square, within a circle?
Do you know that that's significant?
In what way?
Because in Pachacama, outside of Lima,
it's built the same way.
And people used to bring the bones of their ancestors
in once a year and worship with them.
How do you know how they're trying to get walking around
in this mall, have the bones of their ancestors
in their bags?
We know where the...
I'm just ducky, man.
I think this is a book about hitmen.
Distinguished extinguishers.
You turn it on sometimes and sit back and think,
wow, you know, I'm cool because I have a Goodyear blimp
that can circle this fake Christmas tree.
And it just makes you feel good about your life.
You know, you could have that in your house.
These are the towns.
This is your home right here.
See?
In Totem Town.
See?
We're looking for spiritual enlightenment.
And that's what we find.
In Totem Town.
Go to that.
Go right above it.
Right above it?
To Bucks Company?
No, to the left.
Bucks Company?
To the left.
To the left?
The FBI?
No.
It's in the middle.
You don't see it.
Smell it.
UFO.
You're a UFO alien, eh?
There you are.
Look at those.
What are those supposed to represent
in the real world?
Just a fact.
See?
Here we are again with the microcosm
and the macrocosm, you know?
Don't take much to be happy
in America, man.
You just need some money
and an inflatable dog.
And a lot.
What a trip.
How much more spiritual can you get?
I don't know.
How do they taste?
Are they made out of chocolate?
It's $9.99.
It's like some kind of baptism
or a trial by fire or something.
I think the Transylvanian priestess
used to do this kind of thing.
I found my garden.
I love my garden.
Here we go.
The manish shaman
on his quest at the mall.
Now we've got to walk up to this.
We've got to walk.
Yeah, so our disguises were effective.
No one recognized me.
Did anyone recognize you?
No.
We met some graceful women.
Some little girls from the church of grace,
but I don't think they were from the church of grace.
I think they were FBI agents
to tell you the truth.
I did see a number of people talking into their sleeves.
I noticed a lot of people talking out of their ass too.
