Right buddy, there's that one. You all right? Yeah, I'm all right now, thank you.
Until about this point, the pinnacle of my social life was the fact that I didn't rely
on the internet to make friends.
What do you want to do? Just go on Bookface. Fuck his bookface.
What is bookface? What is it?
It's the social networking site. Muscle. Do you mean another one? It's like one, it's like maybe five.
How does it happen? Two years. It takes like two seconds to make a account.
Like whatever, yeah. What's your email?
I'll give you my email. I know what your email is.
Big, juicy mamas at hotmail.com and then I'll just make a password and you have an account.
Unfortunately, that was just the moment I began social networking.
It's funny, you don't necessarily think that the internet's going to take over your life until you start to use it.
Then it really does take over your life. Quite literally.
The hell? What happened to my house?
Through a house park.
When?
Last night.
I wasn't here last night.
You put it on your wall on Bookface.
No, I didn't.
Maybe I could put it on your wall on Bookface.
I mean, why is there an essential need to make friends with people you're already friends with,
just so they can evidently hound you with notifications?
In what real life situation would someone that doesn't have a genuine facial disfigurement greet you with a winky tongue face?
Let's make a cake with a will.
Oh, hello.
Don't you hear about things you don't normally hear about?
Hello.
Seriously, what the fuck?
I didn't see you there.
I just mentioned the new friends you make.
And the new enemies.
Hi, Dad. This is my boyfriend, Barney.
Yes, sir. Hi.
So, Barney, what's the intentions you have with my daughter?
What do you mean?
Are you going to be honourable?
Of course.
And I hope that before, because you do realise if anything...
I mean, anything happens to my daughter.
I'm sure you know what will happen from that.
Oh, shit.
There really is a low chance of meeting that special someone.
But you certainly do meet special people.
Roy, I'm here to spread the word of fun, Bill.
Going away for a few days. I wonder if you could look after me, chicken?
Is that my chicken?
Have you killed my chicken?
You bastard.
I don't particularly want to spend the rest of my life running away from updates, notifications, comments, videos, pictures, messages, blogs, emails, shares, gaming, invites, pokes, emoticons, depressing statuses, mobile uploads, likes, picture quotes, and god forbid, followers.
But this is my life now. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. However, I should imagine it's too late for that.
Internet is such a useful resource to most people. I seem to have stumbled across something a little different.
Now, I guess, I should probably face my demons.
