As far back as I can remember, I pretended to play guitar.
Do you know what time it is?
Hey, I'm talking to you.
Not much has changed.
You're not even very good. What are you still playing on easy?
I have trouble with the pinky.
Listen, let me tell you something.
Don't make the same mistakes in life that I made.
Mistakes? You were like the greatest pretend guitar player there ever was.
You and I both know what happened to your mother.
When I tried to play Hangar 18.
Now I've given up my guitar forever.
And you're gonna do the same.
That's right.
You could forget about ever pretending to play guitar ever again under my roof.
You know what? I hate you.
I hate you.
Well, you could get some pants on.
Please, not our fighter. You'll have been recruited by the star.
This is all I have to prove you.
So you are to be recruited.
You need to be supposed to call me in a second.
And you're still our star fighter.
What the hell?
Arm yourself for death.
For years I've voyaged through the darkest abyss of space and time.
Battling the most mediocre fake guitar players in the universe.
Victory will be mine.
Wait, did you just say victory?
And listen to the sounds of death-like silence.
You can't hear them, can you?
Because they're completely evil.
Now kneel before the true forefathers of black metal.
Kansas.
I don't understand.
So you're saying that my guitar hero playing is so mediocre that it created this hole in space and time.
So they carry the tune?
Uh-oh.
That means that I'm going to beat this guy a guitar hero.
Take him down so he doesn't eat my brains.
What?
Uh, pinky.
Stick your pinky in your ear because I am turning up the volume on death.
I'm sorry, dad.
Sorry.
Oh.
Death.
Delicious.
Let's rock.
It's almost like we're actually playing.
Don't you cry.
You're strong.
Only your mother will alive.
Son, listen closely in order to defeat your own.
That's it.
Now!
Oh.
Kansas Guitar Heroes!
You may have won the day, but I'll be back soon with my very own rock band.
I'll be waiting, pretending to play guitar.
Yeah, I don't know what just happened, but I've got to get me one of their monkeys.
Where's my robot?
