Do you struggle with anger? Do you beat yourself up for getting angry or maybe you feel fearful when other people express their anger?
If so, you're going to want to do this yoga class.
Hello, welcome to Yoga with Melissa. I'm Melissa. This is real yoga for real people. We're all about connection.
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I have a testimonial for you today from YouTube.
It's from Marcia. Marcia says, Melissa, as always, your classes are thoughtful, informing, challenging, and personal. I'm so grateful you're my teacher. Namaste.
So thanks to Marcia and thanks to all of you who take your time to leave your comments on YouTube and iTunes, Instagram, Facebook, our website, and as always, the most in-depth conversations happen on our membership community.
If you're wondering why I'm doing this, we're here in Michozen today. We landed here with perfect sunshine, blue skies, gorgeous mountains, and low tide, and high winds.
So I'm going to try to protect the mic from the high winds by putting my hand up like this so that it doesn't go over the mic for the whole class.
Thanks to Squeeze Yoga Clothing for my clothes. I'm wearing a butterfly top, bamboo top, green top, and black capri leggings.
And thanks to Dusky Leaf for my props. Today you're going to need a block and two blocks and a bolster.
And I'll actually, after our peace mantra, I'll get you into our first prop with the bolster and two blocks.
Bring your hands into the Anjali Mudra.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.
So that mantra means protect us together, student and teacher. May our studies nourish us together.
May we practice together for the union of the good of all.
May our learning be luminous and purposeful. May we live in harmony. Peace, peace, peace be unto all.
If you haven't done the first two classes in this series, then I would recommend you go back and do those first two classes.
They are foundational to this series. Otherwise we're going to get down and do recline bound angle to start.
So you're going to place your bolster lengthwise on your mat.
With your blocks underneath your knees.
Place the soles of your feet together. And just see where your knees land, opening.
And then place the blocks underneath them so that it supports your knees.
And then you're going to lie back on your bolster. You want to place your bolster sort of at the base of your ribs here.
And then take your arms out to the side so that there's a big opening through your pelvis and your chest in this pose.
So allowing your body to open over your bolster. Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
And sinking and opening.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
Breathing into your torso all the way down into your pelvis.
And then you're going to slowly start to make your way out of this pose. Draw up through your pelvic floor. Draw back through your navel to support yourself in drawing your knees together.
And rolling to your side.
And then we're going to do lunge pose.
So you can put your bolster off to the side now.
And you're going to start with walking your left leg through for lunge pose.
So today's class is about anger. And anger can be a very scary emotion. It can be an emotion that we don't want to relate to.
Whether we are experiencing it ourselves or we are watching somebody else express it.
So from here you might want to take your blocks underneath your hands.
And we're going to, throughout this class, kind of access places in the poses that might make us feel a little bit more vulnerable.
That might feel a little bit less safe.
Not as in don't do anything that feels unsafe to you, but that doesn't feel as stable or where we don't feel as strong.
That's what I'm trying to say. So they're going to put you into places that feel a little bit more unsteady to you, a little bit more unsure.
So what you're going to do is tuck your right toes under here and lift your back knee.
If that feels really strong and steady still, you could take your arms away.
But that is already demanding a lot of me.
We're going to lower down and just lean back into those hamstrings.
And then you're going to switch sides. So this time you'll walk your right leg forward.
And then we'll take it to that place that is more demanding for you and feels less sure and less stable.
So you can tuck your left toes under, lift your back left knee.
If that feels really sure and steady and stable, then you can take your arms away as well.
And then lower down and you're going to lean back into your hamstrings.
And then you're going to release that leg.
Put the blocks off to the side. You might want to bring your bolster in front of you.
And then we're going to come into frog pose. So this is one of those poses that I know some people really like.
For me, it really gets into that kind of vulnerable place.
But you're going to come onto all fours, open your knees wide into, they're going to be at a 90 degree angle with your feet flexed.
You want to feel this in your groin. And then you can come down onto your forearms here.
And you can also rest on your forearms and your bolster here.
You want to stay sinking back. The tendency is going to be to rock forward, but you want to stay back in your hips with your tailbone tucked under here.
So anger is a very direct emotion. It's an emotion that you might notice whether you're experiencing it or whether you're with somebody who's expressing it that puts us in connection with the present moment experience.
If you're experiencing it, all of our periphery experiences fade away and we have a kind of tunnel vision that takes over.
We get locked into only what's happening now. We can no longer see or hear or sense anything else.
Nothing is important except for what we're angry about. And if we're with somebody who's angry, you may notice that it's even impossible to kind of get their attention.
So slowly make your way out of this pose.
Okay, from here we're going to come into downward facing dog and then start to make our way up to standing.
Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to come into warrior one pose.
So I'm going to get you to take a step back with your right foot to begin.
Okay, so you're going to turn your hips towards the short edge of the mat and if that really torques your knee, you can always come up onto your back toes so that your ankle knee and hip are in alignment.
And then you're going to lift your arms straight up. So there's a sense of stability and strength here in warrior one.
And it feels, you know, where I think that you feel assured in warrior one.
And then take your hands behind you, relax your shoulders, interlace your fingers, open your chest and fold forward over your bent leg.
And then notice here how in humble warrior, there's a lot of strength that has to be called forward and a lot of letting go.
You're going to make your way back up to standing and take your step forward back up to the top of your mat.
Okay, so we're going to do the other side. You're going to take a step back with your left foot this time.
Think down through your front right sit bone, turn your hips to the front edge of your mat. Remember that cue where you can come up onto your back left tip if you want to bring your arms straight up and reflect on the last time you experienced the emotion of anger.
And remember why you were angry.
Some people are so disconnected from the emotion of anger that they might only be able to connect with the emotion of frustration.
Like right now, being very frustrated trying to film in these conditions.
So Nagpachogam and kendo tations suggest that anger arises when our reaction to the experience is one of fear.
Right, so in this situation, Tim and I are both fearful that we're not going to be able to make a good video that this video is going to turn out terrible.
So when you reflect on your experience, your memory of anger, was that true for you? Was your reaction to the experience one of fear?
Did your anger happen in reaction to the experience of fear?
Perhaps you felt that somebody had taken advantage of you. Perhaps you felt the situation put you at a disadvantage.
So for example, this situation right now, Tim and I are feeling at a major disadvantage to the wind.
So we're going to open up through our arms, interlace through our chest and fold forward over our bent leg.
And then you're going to slowly make your way up to standing.
Find a way out of the posture and you're going to turn on your mat lengthwise.
So on your mat lengthwise, you're going to...
So your feet are wide, you're going to turn your toes out to 10 and 2 o'clock and you're going to sink straight down.
And you're going to bring your arms up and you're going to feel that sense of stability and that sense of self-assuredness that you feel in Goddess Victory Squad.
Maybe bring your knees back.
And then you're going to interlace your fingers behind you. This is also called horse stance, this pose.
So we can also do humble horse in this pose. You're going to interlace your fingers behind your back again.
Open up through your chest and you roll your pelvis over your leg bones again. Keep your legs in the same position and fold forward.
So again, it puts you in that position of being a little bit more vulnerable.
So when I reflected on Nag Pachogyam's and Khandogatian's assertions that at the root of anger is fear,
I found that every time I anger arises in me, yes, at the root of this emotion is fear and deep feelings of vulnerability and insecurity that make me difficult to be soft in my response.
Things like how dare they do that to me? How dare they take advantage of me in that way? How dare they expose me in that way?
And this kind of anger is put up as a defense mechanism to detour the abuse and humiliation and try to avoid my own feelings of being fragile and exposed.
Okay, we're going to find our way out of this posture.
And then we're going to come into dolphin pose.
So you're going to come to the top of your mat.
You're going to inhale, take a deep breath up.
Exhale, fold forward.
And you're going to step back into downward facing dog.
Okay, lower down onto your knees.
We're just going to set up dolphin a little bit.
We're thinking of using our blocks for this because one thing that's really good in dolphin is to keep your elbows and your wrists equal distance apart.
So if you can hug the block in, that's a good way to keep your elbows from spaying out.
So from here, we're going to continue to kind of connect with those sensations of feeling a little bit more fragile rather than feeling kind of so strong and stable.
So when we're angry, we're connecting with those, really we're kind of staying connected with our strength rather than connecting with our vulnerability and our fragility.
So by coming into these poses that might be a little bit more challenging for us, I'm hoping for us to connect with our more vulnerable and fragile side.
So holding onto the block with your elbows, you're going to tuck your toes under.
And now I remember why this wasn't great because it's kind of in the way of your head.
You're going to come back up into dolphin.
We could, maybe we'll drop that once you drop that.
Then your head can hang.
And then you're going to slowly lower down and come into child's pose for a rest here.
And if child's pose bothers your knees, you can always lie on your back with your knees to your chest.
So when I reflect on the times that I am angry with other people or with the situations that I find myself in,
if I'm absolutely honest with myself, very often it's because I'm feeling weak and afraid.
However, it's easier to express my anger than it is to acknowledge that I'm feeling weak, fearful, and vulnerable.
So instead of acknowledging that I'm feeling weak and fearful and vulnerable, I puff myself out.
I appear to stay strong and confident by expressing anger.
But in truth, my anger is arising in response to an externally perceived threat,
especially when some other person or situation appears to possess a power that I feel I am lacking,
or appears to be taking away power that I feel I should hold.
Okay, we're going to come back up and we're going to come into plank pose now.
So if you have any issues with your wrists, you can take plank pose on your forearms.
I'm going to do it up on my hands.
Or you could also do it on your fists, whatever works best for you and your body.
Okay, so from here you're going to take your left leg to the back of the mat.
Your elbow creases face inward.
I had a question about this last week, why we face the elbow creases inward,
and it's so that the shoulders are in their strongest position of alignment.
And that was something that I was taught years ago in my Pilates training in a shoulder rehab course.
Now, if that doesn't feel right in your body, then you are your own best teacher.
But that was in an anatomy course on shoulder girdle rehab, so that's what I would recommend.
And if you're having issues with it, then it's probably a good idea to get it checked out by a physiotherapist.
Okay, so you take your left leg to the back of the mat, and then your right leg to the back of the mat.
You're coming into plank pose.
We're going to hold it here.
And then you're going to tip your hips to one side, and lift, and tip, and lift.
Tip, and lift.
And then you're going to lower your knees down,
and sit back on your heels for a rest.
So my intention there was to allow you to access strength in the plank pose,
and then find some of that kind of risk and insecurity in the twisting plank pose.
So if this bothers your knees, take knees to chest on your back.
So with anger, instead of discussing my feelings openly and honestly, anger is kind of an easy way out.
I hold onto my self-image as strong and as a confident person, and then I express anger.
Because to admit my feelings and would be to expose my insecurity.
And to admit my feelings could be embarrassing.
So rather than risking the possibility of disrespect, I rise up in anger.
And even though I might not express this anger to another person, this anger can also go on very much in an internal way.
And there can be an actual atomic war in progress internally.
So even if you think, well, I'm not a very angry person, a lot of times the anger can be going on in a very internal way.
Okay, we're going to come back to plank.
Take your left leg to the back of your mat.
Take your right leg to the back of your mat.
What we're going to do is we're going to tuck our tailbone under and we're going to open up through our chest and come into Upward Facing Dog.
And then you're going to rest back in Child's Pose again.
Our most immediate strength can lie in acknowledging our weakness.
As Nekwad Chogyam and Kandrodasin say, weakness only exists because it is kept locked in an emotional high security vault designed to preserve self-image and is a sense of personal security.
Okay, you're going to come up to seated, sit with your legs straight out in front of you.
Okay, from here you're going to, I would highly recommend if you have a folded blanket or a cushion to put it underneath your pelvis so that your pelvis doesn't roll back.
Basically, you want your pelvis to roll over your leg bones slightly so that you're able to come into a forward fold.
And we'll take your right leg and cross it over your left leg to begin.
And then what we're going to do is just twist to begin. It doesn't matter to what side because we're going to twist to both sides.
And then we'll twist to the other side.
Find your way back to center.
And you're going to fold forward over your straight leg.
And then you'll come upright and take your right leg straight out, cross your left leg over your right leg, and you're going to twist to the side.
And then you're going to twist to the other side.
And then you're going to twist to the other side.
And then come back to center and fold forward over your right leg.
So these teachings on anger from Nagpa Chogyam and Khando Deshen are asking me to open to my own vulnerability.
To let go of my own fear of self-disclosure. And I have to tell you, I really didn't even want to teach this class on anger.
I tried to let myself off the hook on it. I told Tim what the teachings were and I said, I think I'm going to skip this class.
I've already done a few classes on anger and I think it's too preachy and I think we can let this one go.
And he says, no, you have to teach it.
So I tried, tried not to teach it. So instead of continuing with habits of anger, attack and assault, those habits that come out of defending myself and my personal identity,
I am exploring the possibility of opening myself to others and having the courage to admit my vulnerability.
Just admitting today that these conditions today have been really very difficult to film in.
Some of the most difficult conditions in all the years of filming that we've done.
So when I do so, perhaps I'll find that my insecurities and my perceived inadequacies are groundless.
Okay, we're going to come upright and then you can take your bolster
and place it underneath your knees and go ahead and lie on your back
for Shavasana or corpse pose to allow your practice to integrate.
You
So you're going to stay in Shavasana and continue to rest while I sit up and read you a poem.
This poem is by Nahira Wahid. The most gorgeous thing on a human being vulnerability want.
Okay, when you're ready, make your way up to seated and we'll do a mudra together.
I'm going to kneel on a block. You can sit cross-legged or you can sit in a chair, whichever works best for you today.
We're doing the abhaya mudra today. The way it works is you join the tips of your thumb and your index finger and you extend your other fingers and you bring it to the level of your shoulders with your palm spacing out.
And what this does is it reduces anxiety and inner conflict. It removes attachment, aversions to thoughts, emotions, sensations, and it brings you into harmony with the way things that actually are.
So just keep both your hands like this right now and we'll sit with the mudra.
And with the mudra, you can sit with your thumb and you extend your other fingers and you bring it to the level of your shoulders with your palm spacing out.
So let's close out with our major series, left palm up, right palm down.
Lo ka samastha suki no bhavantu, lo ka samastha suki no bhavantu, lo ka samastha suki no bhavantu.
May all beings be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to the happiness and freedom for all.
Thank you so much for joining us for this class on anger today.
If you found the class helpful, please let me know what you liked about it in the comments.
If you know somebody who would benefit from this class, please, well, maybe an anger class would not be a nice one to share with somebody who might be misperceived.
I don't know, share it if it seems appropriate.
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and we have talks and guided meditations, and we support you in your practice each week.
I'm sending you much love from beautiful British Columbia.
May your joy be as deep as our ocean, may it be as rooted as the trees in our forest, and may it be as strong as our mountains.
Om Shanti Namaste.
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