Thank you.
Over the past few years, I've found myself in all sorts of life transitions I didn't
expect. Like everyone, I've been a member of many communities in my life. I never imagined
I'd ever join a yoga studio. I had a lifestyle change and had to regain my strength and flexibility
while recovering from a death-defying illness.
There's been quite a bit of talk lately about alternatives to nursing homes, retirement
communities, and assisted living facilities. Do we age better together? And is there power
in community?
Another mystery for me was why I moved blindly into the Silver Sage Village co-housing community
in North Boulder, Colorado. I had no idea five years ago that living in an intentional
neighborhood would play such a huge role in saving my life.
Co-housing is a neighborhood of people with private lives, private homes, but choose to
live together as a community. Neighbors also share in the ownership and upkeep of spaces
such as the garden and common house.
I wondered what some of my neighbors thought about growing old among their peers. All of
us are over 50 years of age. What are their perspectives about aging in community?
Margaret Porter retired from the federal government and moved along with her husband
Dan to Boulder from Maryland.
I was pushing to live in a nicer apartment complex in place south and he said, no, I
want to be on the inside reaching out and not on the outside looking in. So we signed
a contract and moved in. That's how we got here.
Margaret's husband, Dan Nyfong, is a retired college professor. He and Margaret are among
the original Silver Sage members.
Co-housing is important for me because I am part of it.
Henry Kroll is a retired public television staff member. He and his wife, Jean, moved
to Boulder from San Francisco.
But in 2008, Jean was diagnosed with dementia, which we've now confirmed as Alzheimer's.
John Heiler is a mostly retired facilitator and mediator. He and his wife, Deanne, are
longtime Boulder residents.
First of all, after our daughter left for college, our motivation was downsizing. But
we were knowledgeable about co-housing. This unit happened to be on the market.
Lindy Cook is a retired nurse who recently moved to Boulder from Kentucky. She is among
the newcomers to Silver Sage Village.
I had never heard of co-housing before, so I did a little research, what to expect, and
an opportunity came up where there was a unit available at Silver Sage.
Jim Leach is president of Wonderland Hills Development, which developed Silver Sage Village.
He and his wife, Brownie, also live in Silver Sage.
Silver Sage really came out of the work that Chuck Durrett did when he went to Denmark and
studied what the Danes were doing with the causing model, causing originate in Denmark.
There was one co-housing community, a senior co-housing community in Denmark that really
impressed me. It started by five couples in their early 50s and so very much out of denial
that it was easy for them to imagine a happy and successful elderhood.
I also wanted to find out if there is any research happening about co-housing.
The work that I've done with co-housing has led me to believe that there's something very
positive happening there. It's not an easy way to live because you are living close to
other people in community and people kind of know your business.
What advice do we have for anyone interested in joining or developing a co-housing community?
Number one is you've got to be real about its housing you're doing.
Have really thoughtful conversations about how you're going to be compassionate with
and care for one another.
One of the things I'm also very interested in is this idea of mutual support and how can
older people help each other because in our society we often think of older people as
dependent and we need to take care of them but really many older people are quite independent
or quite able to help each other.
There may have been in a college dormitory or there may have been an army but where do
people live together in any way in America, hardly any place.
We have people who are good, people who are bad and then your parents change all and they
trade places.
It's going to take a lot longer than you thought and it's going to be much more difficult
but much more of an opportunity for growth for everyone involved than you might possibly
imagine.
I'm first and foremost what's the most critical and the mantra in our office is if it doesn't
work socially why bother?
We've always assumed that everybody is going to have family who will take care of them
when they get older and that really is not the case for everybody for one reason or another
they don't have family or they're far away or whatever.
Living in co-housing isn't easy, facing up to personal changes and meeting those challenges
continue to be important as we age.
Regardless I'm confident there will always be caring people around to provide neighborly
support for others.
I hope you've gained some insight and some tips about aging in community as you decide
whether living in co-housing is the lifestyle for you.
