Welcome to Hand Beach, it's just your average town.
Chilling with my homies, drink a brew and burn one down.
We really lost the situation, and now we have some information.
They're harking the men from keeping you down.
Welcome to Hand Beach, you're my friend.
Burn with us from end to end.
Chilling, getting by.
Come with us and we'll get high.
Smoke a lot of gun, yeah, and we got something you want.
Just sing the song and grab a party.
Hey, friends, bring body and come along.
Put some joints and buds and guns and cut some fear and fall and jump.
We're just good, we're just good.
We're just good, we're just good to me.
Welcome to Hand Beach.
Oh shit, what's up everybody?
Welcome to Hand Beach.
I'm fresh.
I'm said, dude.
I'm fresh.
Mason's a retard.
That's not your line, usual.
Wait, so how's everybody?
Wait, I thought it was you.
Body change.
Wait, if anybody, if you're old viewers, you'll know we mind battled before.
Moral combat style.
Anyways, we have to say thanks to our, wait no, first, it's episode 17.
I remember it's episode 17.
Because I'm psychic.
Do not pay attention to the large screen to the left of me.
Don't tell them that we have a screen.
What's it matter?
Hopefully he edits that out.
You will, right?
No, I don't.
He doesn't edit out shit.
Alright, well on to our sponsors.
Fucking glass gripper.
Yo, get caught up in the...
Glass gripper.
It's another bomb.
We need a hand beach official bomb.
Freedom fighters, check out their MySpace, like freedomfighters.core. Hell yeah.
Dude, we should somehow get technical.
MySpace slash Freedom Fighters.
Freedom fighters core.
You know, MySpace, it's kind of like a given.
Everybody uses MySpace nowadays.
Fresh, where could they see the website address?
Right here, actually.
Right where my chest is?
Well, right under your chest.
Right under my... I can see freedom...
Freedom fighter.
I'm trying to touch the...
I swear, it's the lettering.
It's the... whatever.
Alright, original buddy.
The original.
OriginalBuddy.com.
Oh, jeez, buddy, bond, magnets.
Fresh, what the hell are you doing?
OriginalBuddy.com.
Why skunk?
I'm packing a board.
Yeah, it looks just like he's packing a limsicle.
Oh my gosh.
It's product.
Oh, excuse me.
Your mom's got some product.
She gave your mom some product.
For real?
Wait, I hope you don't run into her or what?
The visual is to be fun books.
Oh, man, you didn't get that back.
Oh, last concert, dude.
Oh, Ed's Totent Oaks.
You can see those guys at Ed'sTNT.com.
Ed's...
Apparently, we're really old guys or something.
Macy's is the bomb.
Those aren't his real pictures, by the way.
He makes some pretty cool pipes.
I got my dugout and my pocket and my dugout.
He's making an ace all night.
Oh, and a little thing.
Ed's Totent Oaks
has been watching the episode.
And Macy's request has come through
and you will be receiving one.
Oh, shit.
Thank you so much.
You're my best friend.
You're my best friend.
I just have to know
who all those old people you have is your picture.
I don't know if I have to say this to this
or if I should just write you an email.
I thought it was weed, but I think I got blunt.
Sorry, I just got thrown out.
Thank you so much.
You'rethebomb.com.
No, wait, you can't say.com here
because we'll have to buy the website.
You're the bomb.
Anyways, our first topic this week
happens to be
celebrity story.
We're going to say
who is the celebrity center?
Alright, from one of my favorite football teams
because I really don't like football
but it's...
Dude, how often do you see
a stoner athlete, you know?
The dolphins of the shit
and no matter how much he smokes
the dolphins keep him on. Ricky Williams.
You know, he gets like
he gets tested nine times every month.
Twice a week even.
Sometimes three times a week.
Seriously.
Are they like, you piss in pure T.G.
Oh well, go play the game.
Dude, he left
for like a year. Just to go and smoke in Africa.
How awesome is that? He came back out rossed it out.
Oh, so he had dreadlocks
to size in Montana.
That's so awesome. I wish it was more in a football.
I knew how awesome he was.
That's why I love the dolphins, man.
I think he said, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
But I'd be lying if I said
I was never going to do it again after I'm done.
So, hey, when he retires
and goes to all the fame,
he'll probably be smoking a blong on his way there.
Sorry, I watched lots of football.
Alright, wait,
so now we're going to have to take a short break
while we all go have some cigarettes.
What? No.
You said it already. Peace.
Yo, pass the light.
Oh, it's hot.
Wait, I got something on my body.
What's up, Colby? Well, wait.
Stuff's down. Stuff's down.
Can't beat you, bro. Can't beat you, bro.
Police down! Police down!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Yeah!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Grab the bag!
Oh!
One sec.
Jesus!
Come on!
No!
Freeze it. I don't know.
We saw Ask a Ninja.
I think I saw it last night.
Ask a Ninja is really cool.
It's funny and shit.
I'm just wondering, like, where you got his Ninja costume?
I want one of those.
You can get them on, like, Shellin' magazines
and, like, on the internet.
That reminds me.
Your martial arts book is still over.
I have a martial arts book.
It works.
Really? It's better, man.
I don't have a martial arts book.
The only one I ever got was the Ninja one
that I gave to Haunter and then it became a Ninja bag.
He was like,
I want one of the camp ones.
He did see that one.
It's funny because he's, like, scrawny.
Haunter, Haunter, Haunter couldn't kill him.
Sorry because I was over the show, Mike,
but he was scrawny.
He's a good spot for some reason.
Bullshit! He used to burn with me.
Oh, that son of a bitch!
He was always like, we is bad for you.
You shouldn't smoke pot because it's evil and violent.
Oh! Let him go first and do it.
Like a whore.
You know what I mean?
We shouldn't be saying his whole name on here.
No, Michael Haunter is funny.
Okay.
But what's our next topic, guys?
The movie.
Yeah, alright.
So the movie, the week, upcoming movie.
How to alienate trends.
How to use friends and alienate people
that got shot in the deads with me.
And hampers.
And hampers.
He's so funny.
He's so funny, Drew.
I love the part where he's involved in
some of the stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
He's so funny.
He only messes up.
Alright, well, this new movie by him
is a...
Oh, shit, I almost stopped the bar.
It's about memoirs of
Toby Young's memoirs.
Toby Young's memoirs.
About a tomb.
So apparently,
some type of character
works in a vanity fair.
A vanity fair
of the magazine, right?
Yeah, I found this one.
So I found this one chick
all the time.
So pretty much, like,
to have sex with this one chick.
But it's like, it's gonna happen
for him.
Because he's like a loser.
And she's like the hot chick
so cute.
Which means he wants to put it in her booty hole.
Yeah, and I guess
she goes for it at the end.
I've been seeing the girl once.
Well, it seems to alienate a lot of people
and lose some friends during it.
At least shows you how.
Can we go ahead for this?
I got an itch, bro.
Wait, hold on.
I'm gonna need these for this.
I just have to tell everybody, you know,
the rock band 2 is coming out.
Like, honestly, it's gonna be ridiculous.
Rock band 2,
they're gonna have an Ion drum set.
It'll be $200.
It's actually like a collector's edition.
You can record your own music on it.
I think you can actually use double pedals.
And it's gonna feature
84 songs on top of downloadable content
from online.
And all your original content from the first
rock band can be transported
to the new one. Exactly.
So now, like,
the new guitar got revamped,
so no more that sticky...
But sublime
will be on the world tour for guitar hero
and not rock band.
Well, that actually
sends me somewhat...
But ACDC is on rock band 2.
Hold on, both guitars do.
ACDC it is.
Does anybody here remember
Amplitude for the place?
Yes, I remember Amplitude.
So much better, because you had Slipknot
and... Wait, Slipknot's
M80 was...
I'm hated. I'm hated, yeah.
That was awesome though, because it was just
R1, R2 and R1.
No, it's R1, R2 and R1.
I saw myself in your glasses.
That's a deal.
Take your glasses off. Fine.
They're like a mirror, now give them to me.
Damn it.
No, not really.
Anyways, also,
just so everybody knew I saw this
you're going to be able to see
that MTV actually is going to have
an official rock band show
where they have people come on.
Yeah, I know. I already had the idea.
F you guys.
Well, since you showed
the MTV show about people
actually coming and performing, not actually...
Are you serious? Like Robin and Robin?
Yeah, but the thing is
either one or two things can happen. We're going to film part of the movie
and then go there and win
and film it just so we can laugh in their faces
and make a movie off of it
or we're not going to have the money
and go out there and we're just going to make a movie
and beat them up in the end.
Yeah, our idea is so important.
You already sold the MTV though, Mason.
No, he sold us a lot too.
No, no, no. Actually, you've signed
all the MTV paperwork.
All of your consumer whore.
You're a consumer whore.
No, I'm kidding, Mason.
Jim said that when she met.
Are you serious?
I had a better shot on I Love New York.
That one chick who wanted that one guy
who was like a crackage.
No, anyways...
I don't know if it seems to be cool, but he's still a baseman.
Freshman, we have to do your attitude
before people get disinterested.
Alright, well, peace out everybody.
Show you how to roll a blunt like last time.
That was fucking awesome.
I Love You
What's up everybody?
How's it going? Freshman Hem Beach,
chilling out, bugging my how-to.
Oh my god, just chilling out.
We got some new shit to cover while I'm here.
Fucking new kickass sponsor.
Smoke clear.
Fucking clear rolling papers, dude.
Oh my god, dude.
Alright, so this how-to.
I'm gonna totally fucking roll a blunt.
What are you guys, fucking blunt rolling papers, okay?
And...
I mean, look at this.
This is ridiculous. They're biggest fuck.
They even got...
Like, they got normal papers.
And then they got...
They got their king-size papers.
Look at all this stuff we got, bro.
It's all from Smoke Clear, guys.
Like, we got lighters with the guitar
thing on it.
I'll explain what that is in a second.
We got grinders.
We got this cool ass thing, a turn and burn.
You don't even know what the fuck that is yet.
We'll have to fucking roll out papers.
And you know what?
I ain't even half of it.
We got a whole bunch of this shit
just to give out.
Like...
Are you kidding me?
There's like a whole bunch of fucking
clear papes and all these.
40 packs in each box.
40 packs in each box.
Of papers.
Clear paper.
If you haven't heard about this clear paper thing,
they're pretty much, like,
glucose, like,
shooters and stuff.
Plant matter.
Plant shooters, plant glucose.
You can always go to the SmokeClear.com
website for more information.
SmokeClear.com
That is a beautiful shirt, freshman.
That is an awesome shirt, dude.
Check this out.
Oh, what's that?
Isn't that sick?
What is that?
Alright, now let's get down to it.
I want to start rolling this blunt up.
So I'll take out of these clear blunt papers.
They're like giant blunt wraps.
Or, well, normal size blunt wraps.
They're just big ass.
Alright, now I'm going to be using something
different from the normal blunt technique.
And that's the
the pitara, okay?
Hold it still so I can get a nice shot of that.
This thing's pretty cool.
Alright, you know how I explained
last time when I rolled the joint
about the
cigarette mouthpiece?
This blows us out of the water, okay?
You just roll this little wooden thing
in with
your joint or your blunt or whatever.
And it acts as a mouthpiece.
No more butter,
tobacco in your mouth for these.
It even comes with a little cleaner thing.
Like, that's pretty cool.
So it's not a one time use product.
Yeah, it's not like those little mouthpieces
that you can buy at Haji Marks.
This will actually last you when you buy one.
You don't have to buy them all the time.
And freshmen,
other than the SmokeClear.com website,
what other website do you think
we could possibly get these at
coming soon?
Hempbeach.tv
Dude, we're going to start selling them soon.
Alright, so let's get started
on this blunt...
At a Hemp Beach price.
All you need to do is take your invisible paper.
I'm not sure if you guys can see this.
Yeah, just hold it still and I'll get a nice shot of it.
It's invisible right now.
You'll be able to see
your weed as you burn
that motor.
Alright, now one more thing.
It says on these,
these products are intended and sold exclusively
for tobacco use only.
There's no problem with that.
I don't give a fuck
and I smoke weed all day.
So, I'm about to pack up
some of my favorite blend of
bud in here.
Total swag pot.
Alright, yeah.
But when you purchase this product, it is for tobacco use only.
Yeah, I'm not like saying that you should smoke pot.
Freshman's breaking the law.
But like usual.
Well, look, I'm not going to
tell you that you should smoke pot.
But it's not like I need to tell
America to smoke weed.
Most of it does it anyway.
So, I mean, whatever you want to believe
is what you want to believe.
The truth is
America isn't getting more convincing
to smoke weed.
They're just getting convincing on voting
about weed.
And talking to our politicians
about weed.
So Fresh, what are you trying to do?
Alright, I got the bud all in there.
So right now,
trying to keep it all in.
Packed down a little bit.
Without losing any.
Listen, some usual
guitar, I'm going to make it slope down
to where I'm going to have the mouthpiece at.
I'll be able to roll that in.
That is sweet.
Awesome idea, dude.
Yeah, right.
That is going to be...
You know, when you use your pack of cigarettes
like you showed on the last one.
Like, you use that little piece of paper.
You no longer have to rip those out,
save them, or worry about running out or anything.
You have a permanent solution
that you might even be able
to scrape some resin from.
Yeah, right.
Scrape your resin off of it.
And I ground this up pretty fine.
It's not very sticky buds.
It's kind of powdery enough on me.
Oh, shit.
It was going to take a second to work, guys.
So just
deal with me. I haven't used these clear paper yet.
I'm usually used to rolling leaf months, too.
So...
I'm doing the roll
and tuck.
The tuck and roll or rolling tuck?
This is hard for me to show you guys
because it's all invisible.
But...
No, it's coming up all right.
Oh, that's good.
You got to tuck and roll.
And another tuck.
Pack it.
Are the white people used way too many tools
when they're trying to roll blood?
And that
fact is completed even more
with the Katara.
So the Katara is meant for white people now?
No, it's just white people can use
even more tools while rolling.
Yeah, but then you wouldn't be
MacGyver without your tools.
MacGyver doesn't use tools.
He used the land.
Yeah, but he uses tools, too.
He uses your mom's tools, Scott.
Aww.
Oh, shoot.
Man, this is pretty cool.
I slid out the Katara a little bit
which is letting me back down
all the blood down through it
and tightened up the seal on the Katara.
So what do you think about the smoke clear papers?
Pretty good, but I'm not
going to do a little more.
Yeah, Freshman hasn't really used them before.
It's kind of the first timer on those.
Alright, I don't fucking like this motherfucker.
Here, through the screen.
So though, you can actually
see the bud in the paper
or the cellulose
compound
which is smoking.
So what's good about this?
I'm only smoking bud right now.
There's no flavor of paper
but there's no flavor of like
massive blunt wrap.
How's that tip on that for ya?
It's actually pretty nice.
The Katara is working pretty good.
Pretty good.
Now I'll be able to use this
again later on.
Peace out, guys.
Check us out at
hempbeach.tv
hempbeach.com and my MySpace
Freshman and Fresh
at MySpace
and check out
smokeclear.com everybody.
8 6 7 5 3 0 9 9 8 6 7 5
That's awesome.
I never was going to do that all night.
Welcome back to hempbeach.
How's it going everybody?
I'm getting techno viking all over the place
on backstage.
But I think there's something
I think there's something going on.
Stop threatening us.
We're meeting hell here
against our Willow Weiss gun.
Help us please.
Save us.
No food except for pizza.
I will kill you.
He stole my kidneys
and I think he's selling them
on eBay for like 4 bucks.
But anyway.
You can sell kidneys on eBay.
Let's talk about the movie.
Oh yeah yeah.
Oh yeah.
What movie?
We're professional.
Which movie?
The movie.
We're supposed to talk about
rock band rock band?
No.
Freshman done.
Smoke to yourself retard.
I always wish we had
that guy on the show.
One of the junkies.
I'll keep junkies in my head.
I'm a funny junkie.
The guy at the washboard is like
shh shh shh shh.
Oh if you guys haven't seen it
watch a video called
Electric Feel
by MGMT.
It's so cool.
If you ever thought about it,
your heads are going to explode.
The moon's made out of trippy stuff.
I don't trust you with my lighter.
Hey stop grabbing your own ass.
I can grab my own ass as much as I want.
You cannot watch your own ass.
You don't have to flash
or can you move?
No.
But hey check it out.
My ass is almost on it.
There's an asshole right there.
I found you an asshole.
I think mine's
better.
Look it makes some booty.
I work out.
Polo.
Polo what do you think
this is democracy?
Whose day?
Left to the left mother.
To the left mother.
To the left.
Let's give it this time.
Is it is it?
Whoever grabs it.
Whoever can grab it, you grab it.
I was handing it to you my man.
You should have thrown me that.
No you never throw up Bond.
We can't with this sport.
It's where you take a Bond.
You throw Bond?
Remember football.
It's where you run up and you smash.
After you smoke the stuff in it.
You smash your bomb over the guy that you're running at.
Take his bomb with his body.
And then run smoke and smash it over somebody else.
People are going to get a lot.
There's going to be bloody people everywhere.
Like cut up.
If you want.
And you have like
the most big
like blood like scar driven.
Dude what'd you do?
You wouldn't be high anymore.
You'd be like war.
I did bomb football in 2008 and 2001.
Me so any?
Me so any.
That's what I'm posting.
Cheese poke you owe me a coke.
You owe me three.
What was the pose that you did for me so many?
That was a theft clock.
What was the pose I did for me so many?
Was it like
I don't remember.
Where's life?
I don't even know.
It's like the Ginyu Force.
Did we do sub zero?
Yeah.
Huh?
Yeah.
Oh true.
So I guess it is.
Like
Oh hey.
We need to come up with a section where we
invent food of
stuff that still needs to be
just because like pop tarts and ice cream.
Yeah ice cream pop tarts.
And then a pudding.
Marshmallow, put them pops bro.
Candy Dams.
People don't even tell people about their
fashion in this.
That's safe and bulletproof.
Candy Dams.
Stay away from the Necronoma
Dams bro.
They're controlled by the dead.
Wimps are from hell.
The Necronoma
Dams.
No seriously.
For all those out there
stay safe.
Stay away from the Necronoma Dams
man.
Necronoma Dams.
Necronoma Dams.
That's grippa.
Right behind the turtle tent.
I got three more.
Shut the fuck up.
It's okay I got a box of them.
I'll chuck them all at you.
What the fuck?
Wait a second.
What were we talking about?
What is it?
The state law section is up next.
And what state law are we doing?
New York.
The whole thing.
Isn't that awesome?
Right.
Alright yeah so
25 grams or less
in New York is only a citation.
Of a hundred dollars.
It's not fair.
A hundred bucks?
Yeah but I mean it's better to go to jail
like you would in Florida.
20 grams or less is about felony.
No 20 grams or more now is about felony.
No 20 grams or less is about felony.
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
So less than an ounce
is more than a half ounce.
I'm so glad
that my friend
only got caught with 16.8 grams.
He's lucky.
And then it turns out they lost his case.
What?
A lucky son of a bitch.
I know man.
Seriously you think he would have had like
bad luck to have been stressed or something.
My friend dude
got caught on their first time
in the jail for like
a no.
And it wasn't their no.
It was someone else's no bro.
What's up with that?
Don't get fucked
Don't get fucked
just not by the cops.
Oh yeah I didn't fuck them.
Unless you're into that court of shit.
Whatever.
Are you using the New York accent
just because we said this?
Yeah sure whatever.
So yeah
the other parts of the law
Wait what was it uh
Oh 2 to 6
I can't even read that
2 to 8 grams
2 to 8
Hey who's that?
Who's that?
We love you Farside
It's funny if you had lots of footage earlier
this is the dog that attacked
It was like dude chill the fuck out
We're trying to smoke
We need two crazy hippies
We're fighting each other
But hippies don't fight
No that's bullshit
Hippies beat the shit out of each other all the time
Go get him
Go get him
Go get him Farside
He's your hunter gatherer
Besides ganja
No no
Okay one more time
I had to say
Hey women wouldn't be women without
Well I wasn't going to say women
I'm a man too
Y'all need to know this right now
I'm a man okay I want to be referred to as a man
I have a fucking man
Balls are bigger than this fucking table
Then you should really not wear jeans
To have holes in them because I want to see
Your balls hanging around your jeans
At least here's where like grandfather shorts
They're like this short
And then their balls hang out
And you're like ohhh
Put your balls away
How fucked up is that?
Also one other
Thing that happens in New York
One other type of crazy shit
Has to be two ounces of sale
Or less as a gift
Is a class B misdemeanor
With three months
And or a fine
A gift?
Being nice gets you jail time
Well it's because people
They'll just be like oh I just gave it to them
And I didn't buy it
So I guess anything under
That amount is no no no
Actually 24 grams of sale
Is a class A misdemeanor
Which is one year and or a fine
But that's still and or
You're on and or
If you ever go to star wars and or
You walk to and or
You walk to and or
I think you think you know
That was in south park wasn't it
You're talking about you know
The Johnny Cochran defense
When he's like
Oh yeah no it's like
You fucked up
And or
He was a wookie
This guy defended OJ
Now how
Can you a wookie live on
And or with all them though
Whatever they call it that you walk
Like the Chewbacca defense look into it
Dude one of the best
Of the sorts of south park ever made
I just remember that
Chef's like fuck
Why am I so screwed here
Does it look?
Chef died
He's chef vader now
Chef vader
He's like vader dude
You haven't seen
Nooo
He looks like Darth Vader because you know
Chef's black so he had to give him the black paint
It's because he practice
Scientology
Even Tom Cruise are in cahoots
Yeah
Scientology
They were in cahoots
How do you spell that word?
I don't know
It's Jewish
Cahoots
Oh wait isn't today a Jewish holiday
I'm sorry are you a Jew?
You're pride
Rosh Hashan
Actually
I'm a horrible guy
I don't know what holiday it is
But I know about it
That was funny
You didn't know what fucking holiday it was
I went home and nobody was home
He's like what the fuck where's dad at
And he's like oh shit
It's Rosh Hashan
I don't think it's Rosh Hashan
Rosh Hashan
Wait cool and whip
Cool and whip
Wait why are you emphasizing the whip?
Cool and whip
25 grams
To
He's made a dog appear
Check it out dude
To 4 ounces
Well that's a felony at that point
Which sucks
Class E felony
1 to 4 years
4 to 16 ounces
Class D felony 1 to 7 years
They have classes
Yeah
10 pounds of more
Class C felony 1 to 15 years
That's pretty gay
Of course don't sell them on
Because that's always a felony
At least it's tax on
I would like to talk to minors dude
Yeah fuck those little kids
You give them the dirt we like screw
Sorry minors
If you're watching like if you think we're cool
But don't ask anyone like
Over the age of like 18
And up to anything
Because we hate you
Go through your friends brother
Your cousin or somebody relative
Get the Arizona
Oh god
Yeah go to your cousin in Michigan
Hey hey hey
We got to show love to my cousin
Perifinalia is only
Misdemeanor in New York
But it's got to be dirty perifinalia of course
Must be dirty so you have to be
Riding dirty in New York for it to
Happen
Okay
For more information on state laws
Check out normal.org
Or normal.com
Okay who spelled entertainment first off
So that early
Interdainment
Let's go cause he likes
Interdainment
Interdain me
Oh dude wait no
You know Farsight needs to
Meet up with Courage
Not Courage probably dog
Courage is a shit
No the dog from the
The one that's like oh this is that
You poop your pants
For me to poop
For me to poop
For me to poop
For me to poop
For me to poop
So these are the buttons you hit to call your mother
To come pick you up
He makes one of those guys
The first day of costume
He goes to conventions like
It's hilarious you see people acting
Out the movie in front of them
What's next guys
I'm doing a dance guys check it out
What's next
I'm shaking
The hate rant section
Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Mace why don't you never do it
Do it Mace, do it
I'm always the one that bitches
Do it
Alright now what are you guys
Hate or what do you want to
What's about
People making me do this
What happened to Mace man
My guy just doing my own way
That's all swept over
I can't hear you
I'm sorry say it again please
Thank you
Shlump
Well every time it's like
Hate rant he like ducks and covers
Like there's an earthquake
Maybe there is an earthquake
You know what I hate
It's a silly word
I hate working on a register
Like New Zealand
I fucking hate working registers
Do you really
Because I'm a stoner
A young stoner trying to make it on my own
Obviously I have to work at fast food restaurant
Somewhere in La La Land
But um
I hate working on registers
There's a restaurant in La La Land
There has to be a restaurant in La La Land
We're gonna eat in La La Land
I hope this one is open 24 hours
I am so sorry
I got the munchies
I'm sorry
But like
These people
They treat you
Like you are a piece of shit
That got stuck under
Their shoe
I don't know if you ever go to a fast food restaurant
And you just think they're like some
Po-Dunk-Tard
I'm not Po-Dunk-Tard
But seriously
I'm not
No, I mean really
Like
Like Sundays
The churchgoers like they venture out
They venture out
And like
I like to be myself, I am very profane
At work
I will tell everyone
It's like fuck them shit
Fuck it dude, like fuck it, fuck you, I don't care
I don't
Customers are always wrong
Yeah they are
We make your food
And soccer moms dude
Soccer moms with kids
When you gotta make like the tiny
Like the meals like literally this fucking big
Like you wipe your ass with this thing
They want you to chop them in five pieces
Chop it really fine
Yeah I work on a grill by the way
But I just
People are assholes man
Like have some more respect for your fellow men
Like economy is bad
I'm sorry I work
In fast food but like
I'm not a tarred
Exactly
Those people aren't tarred, I smoke guns all day dude
Like how can I be
Oh well
So I guess what do you hate? Me?
Or what would you like to write about?
I think I, didn't I? Yeah
You hate your own shaky kids
Do you really hate that that much?
Maybe I, I don't know
I think I'll sort of admit about it
You sure?
No I hate a plaid
You stop it
Enough with the plaid
He has a plaid
Seriously I hate a plaid
No with the plaid
It doesn't match other plaid
When you wear it with other plaid
It's just
Based out
Just please seriously I hate plaid
You'll see it everywhere
Come on, no me golfs that much
Seriously, you're not a lumberjack
I don't understand
I don't like lumberjack
I want to be a lumberjack dude, don't hate
Okay, eat pancakes and cutting wood all day
Come on
Okay first of all I love pancakes
What do you say, could I be a weed lumberjack
I want to be a weed lumberjack
Eat pancakes in the morning and cut down ganja
Cut down like giant ganja stocks
Bro like
Someone please invent that job
I'll be there, I'll give you my resume
Headshot, whatever
Oh my god
That is a promise
Exactly
I'll give you my resume
Yeah
I'll give you my resume
Yeah
You
Oh man
Alright, so we got to get to comments
Right now
Alright, so
The first comment
I don't know all of you
Really
It's on the fucking computer
Alright now where are we going now
We're going to Pirelli
What's what
Music and news entertainment
The entertainment
The entertainment
Alright look guys, we're trying to tell you
About Pirelli's entertainment section
We can't do it right now because
Half of us are drunk and half of us
Are really baked right now
So if you just listen to what we're about to say
This is probably like take
37 of what we just filmed
So it's probably like 5 hours later
If you see us with bags under eyes
It's cause we're tired and we're baked
And shit happens
Check this out
That's a little piece of the song
Called Greatest Hits by Sublime
And beginning my opening
Of the entertainment section
I'm going to talk about bands that I like
And also bands that I don't like
The band I'm liking is Sublime
I have to take one of the great songs first don't I
I'll tell you why I like Sublime so much
It combines surf
With thrash
And punk
And a little bit of everything
And it matches it together perfect
Reggae, ska, blues
Pirelli Noel is a genius
Sublime has so many great songs
That half the people don't even know
And the amazing thing about it is
It's completely an underground label
It's a small label and it wasn't really
Moved on
In a corporate sense
So that's what I have for what I like
For what I hate
It's not really a band I couldn't really find anybody
I really could pull apart
I'll say it up next week
What I really hate is
This is personal for musicians
People that create music
If you can't sing
And you can't do it
Don't doctor it
You can tweak it but don't doctor it
Because all you're doing is you're taking
The attention away from people that really need it
Talented musicians
It's really hard
Like R&B
Can have some good beats and stuff
But Jesus
Did you hear the stuff that's on the radio?
I'll say nothing more about it
That's that on the entertainment section
Hey everybody, how's it going?
Hey guys
So we're coming back to our comments
Yeah, new comments from users
You guys want to hear about it
Users?
Users? They're users and doers?
They're users and doers
Yeah
Our first comment is
From Holden
In Iowa
What is your favorite way of smoking your product?
Bond, pipe, joint
What do you think guys? I don't know
Me? I like the Bond
Bond
Hmmm
I'm trying to think
I think I like the Bond dude
Really the Bond is probably my favorite
Especially if it's like good shit
But even if I'm smoking red
I feel like that's about it
I have to say honestly
Um
Bond's good
Or regular
I don't know if it's just somehow
I don't know maybe it's
Once are awesome
Once are just delicious
Those are like special occasion kind of things
You don't get Bones every day
No dude, I use this one for Bones every day
I had a second part of the question
Alright and the debate
Who do you think won?
Barack Obama
I don't think he won
I'm just saying I don't think he won
I'm not really a big fan of
The candidates right now
I think we need someone who's concerned
About getting an economy back
But I like Barack Obama
No see I like Barack Obama
And I like McCain's vice president
How can you like Sarah Harris?
Because she admitted to smoking pot
And she was up for it
Being used for medicinal purposes
As opposed to Biden
Who is Barack's vice president
Who is one of the biggest people in the drug war
Not to know that Sarah Palin
Is one of my church
Or one of those voodoo church
And also she's a creationist
Which means that she doesn't believe God
And she believes the earth and world
Was created like 3,000 years ago
Yeah like why can't they work together
They sound good
I think it would work out
I think it would
This is my box dance
When I sit down
This is what I do
Because I spoke a lot about
The whole debate
Well my concept is
I don't really like either one of them
We're usually choosing between a douchebag
And a sick sandwich
It sucks
For more years a douchebag
No!
I really wish we could have someone that was really good
With Bobby Black
No or
Bobby Black for president
Free market
Who's this
Someone's interested in making money
Hugh Hefner
I like Hugh Hefner
No because
If Hugh Hefner was president
Somehow he'd institute a playboy
Or you could just go hang out with playboy chicks all day
No
Please
Please
This is just like
Why can't they
Thanks Holden
I'm not going to use tangent my buddy
Scroll down
Second comment
This is from a dude
That was playing beer pong
And you're going down too far
Let's find out what his name is
We don't have the name yet
His name is something of that
Or her, it could be her
Maybe they were trying to be careful
Exactly
He says
He's talking about Santa Barbara
I'm going to try and shorten this up
Just a little bit
They've got some smoking girls there
Of course
It's in California too
It's a WOT
A what
Not a twat
What
Anyways
He's in Santa Barbara
He says the clubs are okay
Let's see
I don't know that this county
I mean we got one club
Everyone talks about this name
I sort of think it's
A bit of a poon type place
Hey, they need more of those
You're in Florida
Where do you got to go for the poon act
Freshman
Where's the poon act
Tell me where the poon act
Where the poon act
Where the poon act
Where the poon act
True
If somebody can talk about the other half part more
Talking to
The capers
The county has quite a bit of pages
They kick ass
Around dust time apparently
I can't remember the name of it though
You can go like
He's going to park here
He's going to go
He's going to go
Change your shorts
You're going to be just around now
You're going to just snip
Stuck up the whole bunch of blades
Bro
Man, you're taking way too long
It's not funny anymore
Come on, man
It's doing hopping and like bonfires
And like you can go see
Santa Barbara seems like a pretty cool place
There's something else cool about Santa Barbara
Is the types of vines
They've got this stuff called Devil's Lettuce
Isn't it in pineapple
Express if they say that
Devil's Lettuce?
I think it is
No, it's pineapple
Express, honestly you're not supposed to remember
Too much about the movie
Yeah, I was high
Really high
But he talks about
There's a lot of places
100 different names for all types of chronic
But one here I've yet to find
Anywhere else is dragon
That sounds delicious
That sounds fucking mystical
What do you want to make of my own name
For like
Did he get those up like the ringer
She has an elephant
Yeah, I have an elephant
The carbs and elephant butthole
Time to believe
He's fingering on an old booty hole
You please my bull
That's horrible
That's got to be beast
Hey wait, I think they have a list
Of like pot that they had there
Like Cannabis
Clubs
Those that are hammered some clubs
Clubs and Cannabis dispensaries
Dispensaries, right?
Yeah, thank you
What is it? Choice? The Magic Dragon?
Santa Barbara Care Center?
Helping Hands Wellness Center?
The Healing Center?
Pacific Greens?
That sounds pretty sweet man
That actually sounds like
Places we need to hit up when we go to California
Yeah, definitely
That's just some of them
Let's see here
Well anyways
I know I'm at least coming out
Delay in probably a couple months
So definitely we're going to have to
Hook up and share some green
It'll be fun
Go back out to Tampa again too
C.S.T. Key
Well it's C.S.T. Key's near Tampa
Oh it's beautiful
I'll say I'm going out tomorrow
You should come
It's lots of fun
I hope I come
He has a gangster ass pizza shop
Gangster?
Like it's all gotty down
Like black and red paint
Like gold trim everywhere
It's like gangster?
Scarface owns a pizza joint
And it's a nice place to hang out at
Yeah we're going to show you episode 5
Where Mason goes down
Black though my disguise might fool you
Oh wait we have to talk about our sponsors
Yup
Off that time of the day
I can sponsor it up
Hit the dusty trail
Hit the alcohol
Wait the lazy hours
The lazy hours
The lazy hours
Yeah
And you guys have seen my movie
Awesome well first up on our sponsors list
Is Glass Gripper
Glass Gripper
Glass Gripper
You can catch those guys up
At GlassGripper.net
Stop chucking them dude
They make excellent frisbees too
If you're stoned and you have an X-ray
They chuck them like frisbees
I mean your friends
There's so many good uses for Glass Gripper
It's awesome
Freedom Fighters
I got their shirt
I've been wearing it a lot
I'm going to wash it
It's myspace.com
The viewers if you are stoned
And you don't know how to spell it
It's C-O-R-P
Not like Marine Corps
The Decepticons where it's like
Eagle to the Corps
The Marine Corps
Yeah
Freedom Fighters
California
California
I was going to say we should have a Barbecue
Everybody just comes out and sponsors with us
But since you guys are in Cali
I'll just have to bring a Barbecue to you guys
Oh right
Alright next up
OriginalBuddy
The OriginalBuddy.com
Fuckin' bong
Magnets
Clean your bong with magnets
Yeah
It's like using the force to clean the force
The magnetic force
To clean your bong
That's free sick shit
And then they've got Buddy Babes too
Sexy Mamas with their bongs
We got the calendar
There's the calendar
There's so many things I'm learning
Alright and then we got
The OriginalBuddy.com
And TNT.com
I can't wait for that dugout
I'm so stoked right now
I just hope they don't kite it before I get it
Oh I will
No I'm totally stupid
All the LRTM
And paying us for
Put it into the hemp beach fund
And then
I'll give you hemp beach funds
Alright
Well you guys can contact us
Or I mean
MySpaces
MySpace
MySpace.com
Slash Hemp Beach
Oh Jinxies
Do you leave us emails
And we say
HempBeats at TechPros.net
And then we've got our websites
HempBeats.com
HempBeats.tv
And what's your MySpace freshman?
Mine is
Mine is
MySpace.com
Slash the Power 5
And mine is
Soon to Come
Soon to Come
Website
Just think about that
It'll intrigue you
Wait on
I'm getting tired
I'm stoned as fuck
Yeah I'm ready to go get some munchies
So we have to say peace out of it
Yeah
Music
Welcome to Hemp Beach
It's just your average town
Two million
We love it
It's the track of room number one now
Reading lots of situations
And now we have some information
They help keep the men
Keeping you down
Welcome to Hemp Beach
It's just you want that
ruinous room incident
I'm sure they're getting by
Come with us and we'll get high
Smoke a lot of gunna
And we got something we want
Sing the song
Then ride upon
We just good
We just good
We just good
me...
Welcome to Hell Beach!
