I've decided, well, I'm just gonna be honest with you, okay?
The other day, my daughter Claire is home and she has a friend over, she's 11, this
girl's 10, and with all of the things that there are to do now with computers and video
games and TV and DVDs and movies on demand and wheeze and all of this stuff, they come
to me and they say, we're bored, we don't know what to do, and you know what I thought?
I'm tired of this.
Back when I was your age, I lived in Brooklyn, my backyard was concrete, and there was nothing
there.
I was in a concrete slab and I could stay out there for hours and keep myself busy on
a concrete slab.
And you guys need all this stuff, video games and videos and computers and electronics and
all this stuff, and I thought, you know what, we've allowed that to seep into our BTK lessons.
We kill ourselves on a weekly basis, making skits and videos and funny sound effects and
all of these bells and whistles to keep you engaged and listening.
And I said, you know what, Miss Amy, I'm tired of all of this.
These kids need to learn how to just listen to a lesson done lecture style.
So today I'm going to do something differently, I'm going to preach out of the book of First
Chronicles, done lecture style, yes, because I'm in charge.
So I want you all to sit up straight, put your hands in your lap, this will only take
about an hour and a half or so, so here we go, five, four, three, two, three, two, one,
the music.
I'm telling you we're protecting...
Excuse me, excuse me, turn off the music.
Hi.
Mr. James, you know exactly what I was planning to do today, I'm giving a lecture on the book
of First Chronicles...
Right, and I'm sure it's a great lecture, but you know what, I couldn't sleep last night,
I was laughing so hard, you wrote this story, we did it like two months ago, about King
the Host of Pain in the Bible, that's a great story, I love that story, I love stories with
action, you know, movies with action...
But I just think that this would be a great, great Bible story, yes.
This is not in the plan today.
I know.
And you know that.
I'm really, really sorry.
You know that.
But I just love asking stories.
And you know what?
Lately, we have less than that.
They should really get to know their Bible.
And this is a great Bible story for you all to know.
And you know what?
They want to know the story.
They really want to hear about King Jehovah's Day.
And the people, I mean, they want to know it.
Just one Bible story.
It's my favorite.
Please.
Just one Bible story.
All right, all right, hold on, hold on, just, just, just so you don't think I'm not nice.
I will let you do one Bible story.
But immediately following, we will commence with our lecture.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
So listen, everybody.
This is one of my favorite Bible stories of all time.
This is talking about King Jehovah's Day.
Now, he was a great king.
They were a whole bunch of kings that were bad at me.
But he was a great king.
He followed the Word of God.
But then, one day, he got some really bad news.
Oh, King.
Oh, King.
Oh, King.
That is not good.
No way to trouble.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Not good.
We have horrible news.
My name is King Jehovah's Day.
Oh, my goodness.
I am so sorry, oh great king.
King Jehovah's Day.
We have horrible news.
We are under attack.
Under attack.
Yes, King Jehovah's Day.
There's a fast army coming towards us.
I mean, there's Moorbite, Ammonite, and Mayonite.
Oh, my.
Moorbite, Ammonite, and Mayonite.
Oh, my.
Moorbite, Ammonite, and Mayonite.
Oh, my.
Moorbite, Ammonite, and Mayonite.
Oh, my.
Moorbite, Ammonite, and Mayonite.
All right.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
They're going to be here tomorrow, King.
We don't have enough soldiers to defeat them.
Soldiers.
Too many of them.
What are we going to do?
What are we going to do?
What are we going to do?
Oh, I know.
I know what we're going to do.
Okay, okay.
Huddle.
Huddle.
I'm going to panic.
No.
No.
No.
We're not going to panic.
Okay...
There's only one thing that I can do now.
We have to pray.
Okay.
Going to the village is to summon all the people in Judah.
them to go into the temples. We are going to call on the name of the Lord. See, King Jehoshaphat
knew that the situation was not looking good. The army that was coming against him was enormous
and he was completely outnumbered. He couldn't win this battle by force. He knew that his only hope
and the only hope of the Israelites was if God would intervene. So, he did the only thing that
he could in order to make that happen. He decided to pray. Oh Lord, are you not the God who is in
heaven? You rule over everything, all of the kingdoms, all of the nations. Born to the God
that drove out the people from this land, Lord, and you gave it to Israel in the first place.
God, but now there are these men coming after us. Moabites, avianites, and mutinites.
Lord, we do not have the power to defeat them. We do not know what to do, God, but our eyes are on
you. And as soon as King Jehoshaphat finished praying, the Lord sent a message to the people
through a man named Jehazel. King Jehoshaphat, do not be afraid of the spirits because of this huge
army. The battle is not yours, but God's. You will not have to fight this battle. Just take
your positions, stay firm, and see the victory that the Lord is giving you.
Because the king and the people prayed, God answered them and said that he would give the victory,
and they wouldn't even have to fight together. So, they did what God asked them to do and went
down to battle the next day. But instead of running to battle the swords and spears,
they began to sing and appraise God because they knew that God told them that he would give them
the victory. We will, we will praise you, praise you. We will, we will praise you. We will, we will praise you.
And as they began to sing and worship God, the Lord calls Ammonites, the Moabites, and the
male Knights, to turn on each other. They started fighting each other until they were completely
destroyed. We will, we will praise you, praise you. We will, we will praise you, praise you. We will, we will praise you, praise you.
I love that story, I love that story.
We will, we will, praise you, praise you, we will, we will, praise you, praise you.
Wasn't that great, Miss Susan?
Yes, it was a good story about the power of prayer, and that's always a good lesson.
But now we will continue with the yuleture. Thank you, Mr. James.
So if you would turn with me to 1 Chronicles chapter 1 verse 1, I would like to start to talk to you about this story.
That was so good. I love that story, Miss Susan.
It was, Miss Amy.
Yeah, you know what that story reminded me of?
It reminds me of this other Bible story, because that was an action story, and I really like action stories.
You know, like a movie, like Mission Impossible, but I didn't really understand it, but I really liked it.
But it doesn't matter. The point is, my favorite Bible stories are ones about superheroes.
Do you have my superheroes?
Yes!
So there's another Bible story, right? And it's one of my favorites, and it's about superheroes.
Miss Susan, you know that there are superheroes in the Bible. Miss Amy, how many times...
They're superheroes?
Yeah, they're superheroes. Can we please just do one more story about superheroes? I really like superheroes.
Amy, I told you I wanted to do the adventure.
I know, but this week's so good, and Mr. James got you a story.
Just one more, just one more. We have plenty of time, lots of time, lecture again.
And then I get to do my lecture.
Yeah, I just wanted it to be so good.
Because they need this lecture today.
I know, I know. It's going to change their lives.
Lecture.
Superheroes.
One more. One more, and that is it. Yes.
Okay, thank you, Miss Susan. Thank you, thank you.
Oh my gosh, you guys are going to love this. Okay.
So, how many of you know the story of Daniel and the Lion's Den?
Okay, this is not the story, but this story happens right before that story.
See, Daniel had three friends.
And their names were Shadrach, Meshach, and Ben-Nigol.
And they lived in a far away land.
And in that land, there was a king whose name was King Nebuchadnezzar.
And that's really hard to say, so you know what? We're just going to call him King Nebuchadnezzar for short.
Okay?
So King Nebuchadnezzar decided that he was going to build a giant statue of himself made out of gold.
And once the statue was built, he assembled all the people together, and he said to them,
Alright everyone, listen up. I'm a great king, and I think I should be worshiped.
So, I have this wonderful image of me. When you hear the horn, the flute, the harp, the zither,
all kinds of music, I want you to bow down and worship the image.
What's a zither?
If you do not worship my image, you will be cast into the furnace where it's very hot.
Not very nice.
Oh.
Alright, so now Shadrach, Meshach, and Ben-Nigol knew that their God, the God of Israel, had given them a command.
Do not worship any other gods but me.
So, when they heard the sound of the horn, the flute, the zither, the harp, and all kinds of music,
they did not bow down to worship the image.
Oh, that's a zither. Excuse me, great king, there are three men who refused to bow down to the image.
What? Who would dare to find my order?
Great king, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. For we worship the God of Israel and him alone.
We cannot obey your decree.
And if we were to be thrown into the fiery furnace, the God we serve is able to save us.
And he will conquer you from your hand, O king.
And even if he doesn't, we want you to know that we will not bow down to any image or worship any other God.
King Nebuchadnezzar was furious.
He immediately ordered that Shadrach, Meshach, and Ben-Nigol be taken away.
He was so angry that he ordered that the fiery furnace be turned up seven times hotter than usual.
And then he ordered some of his strongest men to come and throw Shadrach, Meshach, and Ben-Nigol into the flames.
The situation looks grim. The fiery furnace hotter than ever before and these three friends have been thrown into what could be their deaths.
Will this be the end of Shadrach, Meshach, and Ben-Nigol?
I don't think so.
King Nebuchadnezzar realized that there were four men in the fiery furnace, even though only three had been thrown in.
He realized that not a single hair on their head had been singed and that they didn't even smell like smoke.
He immediately ordered that that giant statue of himself be torn down and that everyone instead would worship the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Ben-Nigol.
Because no other God can sing this way.
I believe that story is over. It was a great story, once again, standing up for God. Excellent message in that.
But of course, that's not going to compare to the lecture that you're all about to hear. So once again, turn to First Chronicles chapter one verse...
I'm sorry, who are you?
This is PC Kids, right? Isn't this Sunday April 10th at 9 o'clock service?
Yes!
Somebody told me to come so that we could do this dirty old Joshua.
The only one who would tell you to come would be me because I am in charge and I did not tell you to come.
So you are mistaken and should not be here because there is a lecture scheduled to be...
Hey guys, I'll take the blame for that one. I asked Joshua to come in.
I love musicals so much that I just wanted the kids to experience this one more time.
Plus, I love incredible adventure stories and those are my favorite types of Bible stories. I'm sorry.
Mom, you're a new worker here. Where were you to get that authority to choose?
I'm already here and the music is all queued up. We're ready to go.
Okay, okay. By a show of hands, who would like to hear my lecture?
Who would like to hear the story of Joshua?
Alright, this is it. This is it. Mark my words. You will be listening to my lecture when this story is done.
Okay, you guys, it's time to mark your left. Your left. Your left. Your left. Your left. Your left. Your left.
Joshua, can you please tell us why we are marching around the city of Jericho every day for the past seven days?
Because that's what the angel of the Lord told us to do to win this battle.
And you don't have a problem with the fact that it makes no sense at all?
Nope. I know what you all need. You need another song.
Come on, you all. You know this one. We are marching round and round.
We are marching round and round.
Tell me it's welcome to come in now.
Tell me it's welcome to come in now.
We will fight with fixin' rocks.
We will fight with fixin' rocks.
Except the mighty God.
Oh, okay. I see that you all have had it with this one. But that's okay. There are plenty more that song came from.
Oh, and the seeds go marching in.
You know what? This makes absolutely no sense. We have been marching around the city every day for the past seven days.
And now today, we're marching around seven times.
My feet are killing me. I have ginormous blisters. In fact, my blisters have blisters.
And if I have to listen to Josh, we'll sing one more cheesy song. I think I'm gonna scream.
Not to mention that when you look like fools, you're marching around and around these walls,
and now think that they're gonna come tumbling down. I mean, everybody in the entire city is laughing at us.
You think we look foolish now? Wait until we walk around a couple more times, and nothing happens.
We're gonna have to take our blisters and go wander around in the desert for another 40 years.
You know, so much for the promised land. And you know what? I thought Joshua was a smart guy.
Seriously?
I mean, it seemed like he would make a fantastic leader, but I think he's gone crazy.
Absolutely.
Nobody fights a battle like this.
Right.
Alright.
That is it.
I have hats.
I've had it with the ruffly. I've had it with the complaining.
Don't you think I know that what God said doesn't make much sense?
Don't you think I know that?
Don't you think it's time to just be crazy to me, too?
I mean, these walls are 12 feet thick.
But this is God we're talking about.
And if he said to walk around these walls several times, well, then we're gonna walk around the walls several times.
I mean, our God is faithful.
And he's gonna do what he promised to do.
But only.
I said only.
Say only.
I think we're gonna be only.
Be only.
But we ain't afraid what he calls to do.
Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not turning back.
Oh, I'm gonna have faith in God.
And he will give us all victory.
Now, who's winning?
Who's winning?
Who's winning?
Who's winning?
We are marching round and round.
We are marching round and round.
Until these walls are becoming down.
Until these walls are becoming down.
Now, we'll give us victory.
Now, we'll give us victory.
This is all down in history.
This is all down in history.
Oh, when the saints go marching in.
Well, when the saints go marching in.
I will be right there in that number.
Number, when the saints go marching in.
Well, when the saints go marching in.
Oh, when the saints go marching in.
I will be right there in that number.
Number, when the saints go marching in.
Yeah, when the saints, hey, we do the sign.
When the sun refuse to shine.
I will be right there in that number.
Number, when the saints refuse to shine.
Oh, when the saints go marching in.
Well, when the saints, hey, we do the sign.
Well, when the saints, hey, we do the sign.
Well, when the saints, hey, we do the sign.
Well, when the saints go marching in.
I will be right there in that number.
Number, when the saints go marching in.
I'm gonna hit with the sound, and if you will shine.
When the sun refuse to shine, I will be right there in that number.
Number, when the saints, hey, we do the sign.
Hey, when the saints, those saints go marching in.
Sweet, the season's gonna watch it in
I wanna be right there in the middle
You're gonna win the season's gonna watch it in
Hi, that was nice. I like the little hand thing they did.
Good story about obeying God, even when it doesn't make sense.
Also, very good lesson, but as I said, not the lesson for today.
So do I even dare start this lecture series
that will run now for the next 20 Sundays
on the Book of First Chronicles?
Yes, 20, yes.
Okay, I don't care. And now I'm mad.
Why am I even asking?
Okay, so here's the thing, guys.
Everybody's talking about this, you know.
Josh would dance up in the ceiling,
but everybody knows where it started.
The bail dance.
Do you guys remember that bail dance?
I'm telling you, the bail dance is what you have in your hands.
Mr. Hoey, hey! Mr. Hoey said the bail dance, are you serious?
And the Joshua dance has everybody with their feet.
The bail dance is where it's actual dance.
Everybody put your hands up.
Wait, one second, one second.
Wait, how dare you?
The Joshua dance?
The bail dance is where it's actual dance.
Wait, let me tell you.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
But you want bail dance?
I don't even know what you're talking about.
What bail dance?
You know what? We're gonna set it off.
I'm gonna show you.
No, no, no.
I have to agree to this.
That's it.
Kathleen, where you at?
Yo, come through the bail.
Come through the bail story right now.
Okay, okay, okay.
Do I have to ask you nicely?
I'm sorry, Ms. Susan, I have something to say.
All right.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right, all right.
Whoo.
In the days of Elijah, there lived a wicked king named Ahab.
Now, Ahab constantly did the opposite of what God wanted him to do.
He worshipped idols.
He had the God's messengers killed.
I mean, in fact, the Bible says
that there's no other king of Israel
who angered the Lord more than King Ahab.
Now, Elijah had it up to here
with King Ahab and his wickedness.
So a challenge was made.
They have Elijah.
I'm calling you out.
Name the place.
Mount Carmel.
Bring your 450 prophets of Baal.
In fact, some of the people from all over Israel.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
You're a little confident now, aren't we?
I'm the only one of the Lord's prophets left.
And you have 450 on your side, Adam.
But we'll see whose God is the true living God.
So Ahab sent 450 prophets of Baal to Mount Carmel to meet Elijah.
They brought two bowls with them
and prepared a sacrifice.
And then they called on the name of their God
and asked for fire to come down and burn the sacrifice.
All Baal.
Baal.
Baal.
That's a Baal.
I got the beat. Hey, hey, hey.
Baal's so cool.
I got the beat. Hey, hey, hey.
Baal's so cool. I know how to spell.
I got the beat. Hey, hey, hey.
Baal's so cool. I know how to spell.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Shout louder.
Maybe he's deep in thought or on vacation somewhere.
Or maybe he's asleep and you need to wake him up.
You got it?
That's it.
The Bible says that they shout even louder
and they even flash themselves with swords
so that they were breathing.
They continued this all day and still no answer.
Enough.
Get my sacrifices and put them on the altar.
Get lots of water and soak the altar
so it'll be impossible to set on fire.
Now, I'm going to call fire down from my God.
Lord, send your fire so that all would know
that you are God.
What the hell is going on?
God!
God answered Elijah's prayer and fire burned down the sacrifice
and everyone saw that Elijah's God was the one true and living God.
Okay, please, this is exactly what I was worried about.
We're losing control, but not anymore.
That was a bail dance, Joshua dance.
Who really cares when you have the topic of first chronicles
before you let us come out?
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry.
Who won, y'all?
Okay, Joshua dance, right?
Bail, bail, bail, bail.
Joshua dance, Joshua dance.
What the hell?
What does it matter?
Bail, bail, bail, bail.
Okay, okay, okay.
Open your Bibles, please, to first chronicles.
I'm sorry, guys.
In the early days of the Old Testament.
I'm sorry, there was a letter here with your name on it.
It came for me?
Yeah.
Says Miss Susan.
I love getting letters.
Okay, it says, introducing the story of Samson and Delilah.
What's the plot?
A very long story.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Miss Amy, I didn't mean that from my heart.
I was simply reading something that Mr. Rob just sneakily gave me.
I know, but I read my script and I memorize my own.
No, that's not true.
It's different here in my script than what someone says introducing the story of Samson and Delilah
than I'm supposed to get by the stage and start presenting.
And you said introducing the story of Samson and Delilah
I came on the stage and started presenting!
What language are you speaking?
I'm speaking ME!
Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't trick you. I apologize.
But Mrs. Susan, I love spy movies.
You know, like the Double of Seven kind?
We're the ones running around that try to trick each other?
What do I mean?
Come on, honestly, but the way the service has been going,
how could you possibly have gotten tricked?
You know what? I got a great idea.
This is perfect. Another reason for you to watch this next story.
Just sit down and I guarantee you
you'll learn a valuable lesson about paying attention next time
and being more focused, okay?
Samson Delilah, please sit down.
Please sit down. Samson Delilah.
I hope you enjoy your last Sunday serving at BT Kids, Mr. Love.
Thank you, Mr. Love, please.
Am I okay to keep going?
Please go on. Mrs. Susan needs help to learn.
What's the plot a very long time ago?
There was a band named Samson.
Now, Samson had been chosen by God
to deliver the Israelites from their enemies called the Philistines.
Now, Samson was the strongest man in all of Israel.
In fact, he once killed a lion with his bare hands.
He was the toughest guy on the block
and he had been specially chosen right from birth as a baby
to be the one that God would use
to deliver the Israelites from the hands of their enemies.
There was only one problem.
He was stupid.
He got himself into all kinds of situations
and his strength was usually enough to get him out.
But that all changed when he met a woman named Delilah.
Delilah had been sent by the Israelites enemies, the Philistines,
to try to see if she could figure out the secrets to Samson's strength.
Please tell me what makes you so strong
and what it would take to tie you up securely?
Well, if I am tied up with seven bow strings that have never been dried,
I would lose all my strength and become as weak as anyone else.
So, Delilah heard that she got Samson to fall asleep.
She went and she got seven new bow strings that had never been dried
and she used them to tie Samson up.
And then she waited for the Philistines to come
and she yelled out,
Samson, the Philistines have come to catch you!
Samson, smash!
Samson just snapped the bow strings off.
He wasn't defeated.
Now Delilah was not happy that Samson had lied to her,
so she went to him again to ask him what is the secret to his strength.
And two more times, Samson lies to her.
And both times she tries what he says, gets him to fall asleep,
calls the Philistines in, yells, but it doesn't work.
Samson is still not defeated.
So finally Delilah asks him one more time.
Samson, please!
You keep lying to me!
You keep lying to me!
Please tell me the real secret to your strength.
Please.
Okay, you see my house.
Okay, freeze.
Now I know I'm the one that's supposed to be telling this story,
but are you watching this?
What is wrong with this guy?
Let me just get this straight, right?
Two times, three times, he tells her a lie.
And what does she do?
She gets him to fall asleep and she doesn't.
And now he's going to tell her the truth?
What do you think that she's going to do?
She's going to do it!
She's going to beat it and destroy it.
You know what? I refuse to unfreeze them.
No!
I'm in control here. I'm in control.
This is my Bible story.
I don't want to see him ruin his entire life, so I'm just leaving.
I'm leaving!
I'm leaving!
I'm leaving!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
You really, you really want me to...
He's going to be destroyed.
Maybe, you know what, maybe, maybe if we just leave them there,
the story in the Bible will change.
Do you think that's possible?
No!
You mean to tell me that if it's in the Bible, it's going to happen?
Yeah!
So I have to, don't I?
Yeah!
This is so annoying.
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
But I am not happy about this.
Issues!
Unfreeze!
Hair has never been cut before.
See, if my hair was cut
and I'm completely shaved and bald,
I would lose all my strength
and become as weak as anyone else.
So, Delilah gets Samson
to tell her the secret
and she gets him to fall asleep one last time.
Wait a minute!
Why do you keep trying to get me to fall asleep?
Well, you know,
I figured that, you know,
you're so working hard
every day being strong and all
that you needed to get some rest.
All right, so as soon as he falls asleep,
she shaves off his hair
and she calls in the Philistines
one more time.
Samson, the Philistines
have come to catch you!
Samson woke up,
but this time he realized his strength was gone.
He tried to fight back,
but he wasn't strong enough.
The Philistines captured Samson
and threw him in prison.
I did it again.
I did it again.
Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
I did it again.
But you know what, Miss Susan?
See, that's a perfect example
of why we can't let ourselves be tricked like that, right?
He should have figured this out.
He should have seen it coming, but no.
And the same way, you probably should have seen it coming
at the end, but...
Miss Susan?
Uh-oh.
Miss Susan?
There's the love.
I always thought I was in charge here.
About four years ago, Pastor Simba came to me
so I want you to take over Beauty Kids.
I said, okay, and then I thought I was in charge!
Yeah.
That means you're in charge when they put you in charge, right?
Uh-huh.
Well, I guess not.
I guess not.
I guess being in charge doesn't mean you're in charge!
Okay, okay, Miss Susan.
I guess it doesn't mean that!
You're not in charge!
Wait, wait, wait. Miss Susan, Miss Susan.
Okay, you know what? You're right.
We went too far. We're sorry.
We're really sorry. We're really...
No, don't pat her. Don't pat her.
Okay, no, we're sorry.
You know what? We got excited, but you're right.
We should have asked you because...
You think? No, I do. Sometimes.
We love you.
Okay, but you know what? Here's the thing.
We just got so excited because
the Bible is such an amazing book,
and we wanted to show the kids
how the Bible is just as good
as those video games and those things,
just like you said at the beginning of your lesson.
They don't need all that stuff all the time.
The Bible is just as exciting,
and we wanted to show them that, right, guys?
Yeah.
I know we should have asked you, Miss Susan,
but you have to admit, wasn't today
so much fun?
What, these stories so fun?
Yeah, but...
So would have been my hour and a half
of my turn for this critical.
Yes, it would have, yes, but...
Wait a second. I have an idea.
Miss Susan.
What? Do you have a favorite Bible story?
Yeah, you do.
Whatever it is, we'll do it.
Whatever story it is, we'll do it.
This is the last one, the big finale.
I'm so sure!
I'm so sure!
And then the minute I start to say it,
someone else is going to come...
In those plans right there,
and they have another Bible story,
or maybe the bus driver that drives
the 25 bus out there on Livingston
has a Bible story that they want to talk to.
You don't want to hear my Bible story.
You don't!
You don't! No, no, no.
I don't want the 25 bus driver.
Your story.
Miss Susan, Miss Susan,
Miss Susan, Miss Susan,
Miss Susan, Miss Susan,
Miss Susan, Miss Susan, Miss Susan.
Okay, okay, okay.
I do have a favorite Bible story.
Yay!
So what is it?
Well, I really like this
particular Bible story,
because, see all the other ones you just did
involved adults.
But this Bible story involves a child
because I like children.
That's why I direct the BT Kids.
That's why I'm in charge.
And you do a great job.
Yes. Yes. So my favorite Bible story is David and Goliath.
Oh yeah!
Come on, let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Susan, do it! Are you going to do it?
That's what I'm doing right now! Come on, Susan, come on!
I challenge you, Israelites. Come and fight me. Is there no one among you who is brave enough to challenge me?
Goliath, this is my offer. If anyone is able to kill me, then the Philistines will be your slaves. But if I kill him, you Israelites will be our slaves.
Come now, you who came to be the chosen people of God. Where is your God now? You are nothing more than towers!
I will see you again. Who will fight me? I will fight Goliath. What? Who has challenged me? Where did that force come from?
It was me, and I accept your challenge. Is that not David the shepherd boy? Yes, yes! I think it is! Oh no! One of you men, please take his place! He's too young to be fighting a giant!
Am I a dog that you come at me with a stick? Obviously, he's not very smart. I mean, this is a staff, not a stitch.
Come over here, and I'll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals.
You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, and I come to you with the name of the Lord Almighty, and today He will kill us and I will kill you.
And I will take the dead bodies of your man to feed to the birds and the wild animals.
And the world will know that the God we serve does not need weapons to rescue his people. It is his battle, not ours, and he will give you to us.
No! No! No! No!
Yes!
Was mine the best story? Yes!
That's what I thought.
Okay, well I think that ended pretty well considering, and now you know you have something to look forward to next week! Let's try our first chronicle!
