If you want this job to work out, you're gonna have to change your attitude a little bit.
I've got a great attitude. People compliment my attitude all the time.
Uncle Jerry wants his drivers to be focused, yet loose.
You know, I could do this job with my eyes closed, to be totally honest with you.
Yeah, I'm sure you could.
Here she is.
Oh, that's her. That's Suzanne Collins.
Focus, yet loose.
Loose calls?
Let me get that bag.
Can you fix that, please?
I was gonna do that next.
Uh, you know, you should be a little more careful with your job parking. Two bucks away.
Okay.
Welcome aboard Driving Arizona.
All right.
Loose seal.
Duane here.
Got Suzanne Collins.
We are en route.
Is that a puppy?
Just keep going.
Duane here, employee of the month January 2011, March 2012, August.
Do employees of the month leave a passenger waiting for 45 minutes?
Never in the entirety of my career, sweetness.
Oh, shit. Timothy Wang.
3-3-3-7, he says.
Damn it, Lucille. I'm sorry.
I'm working with my cousin Glenn today.
We'll get him.
Why would you tell her?
Why would you fail to look and see if there was a second page on the dossier?
She's gonna tell Uncle Jerry now, and now I'm gonna be in trouble.
She's not, the only one who's gonna tell Uncle Jerry,
because I'll also tell Uncle Jerry.
Timothy Wang will probably be calling Uncle Jerry right about now
until any more poor service or company provided him.
Well, the pickup list didn't go all the way to the bottom,
so I don't think there was a second page. I'm sorry, Duane.
No, obviously you did the right thing in not bothering to check.
I'm not mad at you.
I just hope Timothy Wang doesn't have heat stroke.
In Arizona,
the only state in the union with the odds and evens on the same side of the street.
What street are we in?
Are you reading in Atlas?
Yeah, Manny, my last partner, who was my favorite, by the way.
He boosted the GPS after he got fired. They said he hit a pedestrian.
I'm pretty sure he was framed.
So you guys don't know where we're going?
What do you do for a living, then?
I'm in marketing.
Cool. See, I drive people to the airport.
And after 37 months of pretty much flawless doing of that,
I actually...
Oh, shit!
Okay.
Huh.
Well, there goes my afternoon.
Holy shit, did you kill him?
Did I kill him? We're in this together, man.
What are we gonna do?
We're gonna do four things.
One, you get in there and you tell those people we need five minutes to change a tire.
Two, we're gonna get this man naked.
What are you talking about?
We need to call 911.
Three, under my seat there's a bottle of gin.
You go in there and you grab it.
You want me to make you a martini while I'm in there, Dwayne? Huh?
Four, we take the gin, we pour it all over this guy's face,
and then we drag him into the Bougainvalleys,
because no one's gonna bat an eye over another drunk Mexican in a bush.
This is Arizona.
I'm not pouring anything on anybody.
Dude, we got a full boat trying to get the sky harbor, and you're making this about you?
Uncle Jerry's gonna kill us.
Don't worry about Uncle Jerry, all right?
I've been driving this van for 37 months.
I've been through this before.
Yeah, I've hit a couple people.
Manny and I hit four people, actually.
And one of them was a cute little kid,
but that's just the reality of this industry, my friend.
Manny like frame Manny?
My point is that I know what I'm doing.
We're gonna be fine.
You get in there and you kiss some hands and shake some babies.
I'm gonna get this man naked.
Ladies and gentlemen, evidently, we've hit a bobcat.
Well, that's fantastic.
A bobcat?
Mm-hmm.
Are we near a zoo?
My flight is literally boarding.
Which brings me to my next point.
We've all got bobcat blood on our hands.
But I promise, each one of you will make your flight.
That's a promise from my heart, and I intend to keep it.
Here, take a swiggy to want you to.
Two, three, three, seven, sasperilla.
Oh, shit, we still gotta pick that guy up.
No, this is that guy.
This is Tim Wang.
Somebody's got a flight to catch.
Is he just laying next to the bobcat?
Mr. Wang?
Mm-hmm.
Lady, what are you digging for?
Amen to that.
Is he okay?
He's fine, in the sense that he's on the shuttle and we're headed to you.
The truth will set you free, Glenn.
Hey, Tim, did you know that Glenn has had five jobs in nine months?
He worked at Cold Stone Creamery, Super Cuts, Pet Boys,
and I don't want you to forget about the time he gave an old lady Lipitora
for her diabetes during a brief stint at the CVS Pharmacy.
Oh, shit.
Sorry, folks.
Another bobcat started across the road.
Oh, kiddokey.
Terminal one, folks.
Southwest Virgin Atlantic.
All right.
Thanks for choosing to drive in Arizona.
Yes, once again, worth every penny.
I just slaughtered you on the out.
Just so you know, I tipped online and I didn't know there would be two of you, so...
Oh, yeah, don't sweat it, man.
I'll just pay my rent and excuses this month.
All right, so what are we going to do about him?
Well, he's not going to make his flight unless you take him inside.
Me? You hit him.
No, we hit him. We're a team.
But your foot was on the gas pedal.
Well, you are not a team player, Glenn.
I can do it.
No, I got it.
Anyway, before you say anything, I want to tell you that you helped it together back there.
You're fucking moron.
And I give you three week stops, but you did okay today.
Update on Timothy Wang.
He was wrong this morning.
They stole his luggage.
He's going to take a later flight.
Apparently, the suspect is still at large.
See, I told you everything would work out.
We're heroes, really.
Stopped a bad guy.
