Stay tuned for Buried Treasure, Harry Pirates, 15 stars including Cheech and Chong, Marty
Feldman, Madeline Tarn, Peter Boyle, The Money Python's Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, John
Cleese, and a shipload of other fools, Group Madness, The Making of Yellowbeard.
It's a chase. A chase for treasure. It's an analogy about the American Constitution.
Originally started with Keith Moon, the drummer of the Who, saying he'd love to be involved
in an adventure movie. As the result of making the deal before they had anything else. He
offered us some money to develop the idea, which he had in his case with him at the time.
And he said, I got a great idea. Why don't we do a pirate movie? That sounds like good
fun and we can go and shoot in nice locations and so we started writing it. I've had this
script and it's a very funny movie. They're saying it's very funny, but it's usually the
kiss of death. You know, you enjoy seeing blind beggars being robbed. This is the movie
for you. Yellowbeard. What's the story? Yellowbeard. He's vicious. Quite vicious. In fact, so vicious
he would even kill inanimate objects. And he tries to bugger everything in sight. Which
he does. Which he does. If it's not sex, it's violence, but it's usually a combination
of the two. Straight to gay to bi, back to straight. He's a lesbian. Meanwhile, back
in the jungle. It's the search for this treasure. It's enormous. You know, the treasure's probably
so big you can make four or five sequels. When you've seen this, it's hard to believe
it. It's a remake. True story of lurking and looming. My key's small. He's now vinyl.
It's desperate men. Bad pirate. Beautiful women. And bullfighting. It's hot. It's all
about that. When you end up in a treasure-owned abyssal fight and everybody goes home. In
a nutshell, that's Yellowbeard. You very well, then, born. It was once your advice on a matter
of etiquette. Now, does one curts before saying a no? Or does one go down while speaking?
Oh, yeah. That's tricky. Oh, excuse me, Admiral. I must just have a word with this gentleman.
I shall be a moment. Who's that chap who does see his husband and wife, do you know? Steadie.
He seems to have taken quite a shine to radio. Yes. Not many people do, you know, but when
they do, they do. The movie began as a mad gleam in Graham's eye. He conceived it, co-wrote
it, and plays the tidal rule. More than anyone else, he's to blame. Come on, lad. Let's fire
it in to be done. When Graham does the scene, he takes a cosmic leap. I mean, he seems to
have taken a mild dislike to the priests. Therefore, her majesty has graciously agreed
to increase your sentence a further 140 years case dismissed.
Stop calling! Sorry. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes. Well, we better do it again.
There's obviously been a bit of a muddle. Get that off to her majesty right away. How, sir?
By pigeon, Mansel. Pigeon, sir? Surely you didn't forget to bring the pigeon, Mansel.
What happens to them, we'll see on Mansel and Graham at the movie. And, of course, one
does get the opportunity to meet some tremendous first-class people. Oh, dear, my knickers,
I'm coming up. Working together as a... what's the word? No, not unit. No, fish. Yes, exactly.
Is this the bounty? They said victory. There you are, sir. Nothing again. Nothing whatsoever.
I'm behind you, Mansel. I know you are, sir. There's a ship behind you. Good lord, sir!
It's the idiot, sir. Of course it's the idiot, Mansel. Sir, give it to behind us and we're
supposed to be following it, sir. How can we be, sir? Oh!
You take themself seriously. He's trying to make a documentary and you're trying to be
like life. It's called being professional. Thank you very much. And cut! This is my world
and welcome to it. I play the character named Mr. Moon who was in years past Yellow Beards
at Boston. I said, hands up! Do I have to do everything myself? If you're around to set
in a comedy, I mean, the way I experience it is usually a little more fun. We do know
that we're playing a comedy and there's a certain, you know, sort of green light, you
know, therefore anything goes.
Where's Yellow Beard?
Oh, Mr. Moon, sir. I was following him and then I thought I was being followed if you
follow me. Good follow you. Some stupid, boring man.
Somebody come the whole way. Two from here.
Your impulse is coming. They're dancing tonight.
Captain Moon, sir. They've captured Dan and they're setting a trap for the others.
Excellent. They're making it easy for us. Well done, Gilbert.
Do you feel that I'm like some sort of pet?
Well, each sailor is allowed by tradition a pet, sir.
Open it up. There are buttons down the side. The ancient superstition that a woman
on board brings bad luck is now a proven scientific fact.
Nice try, Rosie.
Shouldn't bother love. They're fairly strict on this one.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Can I help you?
I do beg your pardon. My arm seems to have slipped as if it were accidentally eating to your bag.
Oh, Mel, thank you. Mel, Mel, baby.
Do you count down to Earth, guy?
I'm very down to Earth, yeah.
He is an antelope slug of a person. I don't know.
I mean, the man just kind of slides around the set, you know, roll him, action.
Here he is now.
How are you?
Hi, how are you?
Good.
Mr. Personality, here he is.
Yeah, nice seeing you.
Yeah, good seeing you. See, that's about as far as it goes, you know.
The difference between British and American humor.
Oh, how very difficult.
There's a huge difference.
About four or five million dollars a shot, I'd say.
British are kind of cooler and perhaps more steric.
The British do not speak English very well.
American humor is very much about, as you see, emotional body acting.
What I see is about understated humor.
As they tend to, under, emote in any direction.
So we have one and they don't. But on the other hand, my cordon over there,
my cordon over there is eating that swell.
So that shows a certain sense of humor, doesn't it?
I think what makes you laugh makes you love them.
It's one dollar, that's an American joke.
English, English joke is this.
I can't do a Spanish accent, so I did a lisp instead.
It was like a cthillian.
My men will rise up and dispatch you all with majestic heavenly force.
Beneath us on strategy or arrogance.
We've got some little hot gins coming up on board.
New white girls coming on board.
Imports.
They go over all teaming kind of guys, you know.
Two crazy Spaniards.
They're thrown in there because they need the marquee value.
Which is more than anybody could reasonably hope for,
your holy root.
Instead you may bang your head on the floor until forgiven.
Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias.
Now is this the Mexican family?
This is the Mexican family.
This is with a half Mexican family.
We breed them especially for these half-breeds.
And the other one lives where?
The other one lives there.
I got him in London, Paris, Rome, Geneva, Switzerland.
I always wanted to work with my new Python guys.
I've been in the picture with Peter Boyle and Marty Feldman
and James Mason and all those guys.
Chief, how'd you get your accent?
I have a little accent shop on Ventura Boulevard in the valley.
Nobody knows about it and I just go there by myself.
I always want to come up, you know, cheap.
Got me another white girl.
Do your parents know what you do for a living?
Have you told them yet?
Well, I told them I was in movies and they said they might
rather I go back to dope running.
Mr. Feldman, Montezuma's Revenge.
How's that for a Mexican?
I like that.
We're here to see Mr. Feldman?
No.
Mr. Feldman?
No.
Mr. Feldman?
No.
Mr. Feldman?
Mr. Feldman?
Yes.
Mr. Feldman, we have a couple of questions.
Mr. Feldman?
Mr. Feldman.
She's very quick.
I just wanted two questions.
Did you see...
He's blind, you stupid son.
I may be blind, but I have a cute earring.
I'm not interested in your jewellery, cloth eyes.
I'm trying to conduct...
Yellow beard.
Was here.
Which way did he go?
I can't answer that.
You'll have to ask me again.
Also, I dropped my purse.
I think she can figure it out.
Joke please.
Joke please.
Very good.
Very good.
So professional.
This group has a great variety.
And they're very clever.
They're very intelligent.
Amazing group of people.
I love that.
That's very nice.
Very nice.
What could be nicer?
People are nice to me.
They promised to have decent room on this movie.
With their own boss.
Ready to talk yet, Mrs. Beard?
No.
Take it away, Mr. Beamish.
Aye aye sir.
Down.
I don't usually play comedy parts because people usually hire me to look dreadfully serious.
But you see, if I look dreadfully serious with great sincerity, where it comes to a point
where it becomes comedy, you see, through no effort on my part.
Is there anyone here who does not wish to be a member of Her Majesty's Navy?
Me, sir.
Is there anyone else who is reluctant to serve?
Right.
When acting, it's just make-believe, you know?
The kind of stuff that kids do.
He actually shot one of the writers.
Graham, did you hear the Mason really hated the script?
Well, I'm a bit busy at the moment because they've got this.
There's another of the executive writers on our movie, Bernard.
No.
Look, I'm far too busy.
I'm not busy at all.
Excuse me.
Peter Cook.
Peter describes his character as something of a twit who joins the adventure just to
get away from his wife.
I couldn't make a living in his wife.
Can you understand a word he says?
I mean, can you understand one word he says?
Say something.
Say something.
Peter.
I'll bring me all those wondrous gifts that know the hallowed universe of God that
last put down upon our shores.
I say, I'll give you the three pardons, young lady.
There we are.
Oopsie-daisy.
Ah.
This and a little bullfight out was make my day.
Please, we're trying to do a film.
The scene's called Dead Whales in the Sunset.
A Fool's Whale.
Well, we got up there and we found that vein of mahogany and we found out it was just
Fool's mahogany.
That's right.
Oh, you English, you always complain.
He's very effective at your acute horrendousness.
Meanwhile, I am kind of kicking my ears up and having a heck of a time down here with
all of these crazy guys, like Mike Horton of that.
He's just a really crazy guy.
And I tag along with him because I think it'll be interesting to find a lot of foreign
plants, herbs, medicines, that sort of thing.
That sort of Charles Darwin.
I think one can reach the heart of people through comedy, perhaps better than any other way.
Oh, I thought this was an asshole.
Not an asshole.
No, not an asshole.
What is it?
It's...
It's...
It's...
No, you don't go to sleep while you find these pods in the room.
Now, this one is beginning to look a little like Yvonne.
You can see that.
You see there?
You know, here's your little mouth.
Go like this with your mouth, Yvonne.
See?
Looks just like her, don't it?
There they are.
Leaving the virus of my profession behind, an 18th century galleon pulled around the
cove on a longboat that came to the shore carrying half-marty python crown.
And this is the end of my holiday.
But I'll do something in the movie again a bit.
It's like a thin, a sharp thin.
Donny good, Henson.
Thank you, sir.
Well done.
Shall I meet you in the pump room, sir?
That's all I've been briefed on.
Yes, sir, please.
All right, I'll need your camera for this.
Up your camera, too.
You'll be right over back here.
I'll be right over back here.
I was there when you called me over.
Remember?
Where did they get this guy?
Five C, take one of them.
And action!
Somewhere out there is a film.
Where did he go in?
What I do in it, I don't know.
The fat one on the throne, Mr. Queen.
She's not very well today, so I should kneel upwind to her.
You know, he's just an English sort of loony.
Better than the film.
I have a piece of paper here with a time on, you see.
Nine-eighteen.
It's stopped.
Get the first piece of paper.
I'm playing Queen Annabing, and I've been trying to find out about her son.
She had 18 children, a girl, and they all died.
I love playing queens when we use the phrase.
I'm Mr. Prostitute.
Part of my deal was that I'd be friendly to basically all of the extras.
Everyone on board.
I mean, what can I say?
It's a girl's dream come true.
Alone at sea with all of the pirates.
Taking chances at just the men I see.
Doing sea dances.
Accept to rock, to rock.
Accept to set your sights.
Accept to set your sights.
Accept to see.
You probably have a lot of wrongness.
With each other a world that just doesn't matter.
Probably.
That's right.
No way to shut all your intimate.
All together to see.
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
Maryland.
