I am John Butler. My name is Jemmy Morgan. My name is Emily Mastrapa. And I am a film
major. Film production major. Film production major at Southern Amptus University. And I
am a junior. Technically I'm a junior. I still have a few more years though. This is my second
year in the film program but my fourth year college. I've got a long way to go. I came
to Southern because I was obsessed with film and Southern had a film program. I knew I
needed to do something different. I was not enjoying nursing at all. School was just not
fun for me. And my mom and dad actually mentioned to me like well you know you really have a
hobby with film. Why don't you think about pursuing that way. I was really nervous about
like coming into the game so late. Like since I'm not a freshman I felt like oh my goodness
I'm gonna be so far behind. Everyone's gonna know everything. Like I feel like everyone
that's in film has like come out of the womb with a camera. Like I'm gonna film everything
I see. I didn't even know that much about cameras honestly. This is how I zoom. This
is how I focus and that was about it. I took the basic first semester freshman film classes
and it was fun. I just had really bad organizational skills. I was a very shy person and I only
knew a very very small pool of film majors. All of whom were freshmen like me and I hadn't
networked at all and by the time second semester rolled around I didn't really have a project.
I started out as an education major and I didn't really like it. My teacher was like
in class one day you should want to do this every day. Wake up so excited to do this and
I was like I don't think I will be. I just clicked in my head that this was not right
for me. So then I went on to try public relations and that wasn't really clicking either. So
I was like I just need to take a year off and go somewhere and just kind of figure out
what I want to do. I was terrified because I was pretty sure there were no directors
left and that not working at all I just really really panicked and I dropped the class and
replaced it with a literature class without telling any professors. One of the things
that really helped me I think was that you know I wasn't a freshman in college and so
I felt like I had a more purposeful outlook online at that point and I think that really
helped me. We are shooting our cinematography final. This is my very first time being a
cinematographer so I'm scared to death right now actually. Being able to relay what's in
my head to the camera operators that's my biggest challenge. Figure out the shots and
lenses, what camera issue on equipment we needed, lighting stuff. I just hope we get
it all finished and it looks good. That school year I went in and I remember meeting with
my advisor and she asked me now are you sure you don't want to do any film at all and having
a very very long pause and a million thoughts flashing through my mind and then if I could
watch that part of my life on a screen I'd be booing at myself and I said yep no film.
Coming into directing my first film and film school as a freshman was was challenging
and when I first was approached with the idea of doing it I was like yeah I can do this but then
I started telling people they're like oh you can't do that as a freshman that's just unheard of
you're not supposed to do that. There was a couple times when I almost backed out
because I was like I'm balancing the fact that I'm producing my own freshman project
that's not a small one and I'm directing another project it was just a lot going on.
I used to want to be an actress when I was little but I never had thought of
behind the scenes I was sort of like in front of the camera it's me. I'm an actor in this short film
it's cool I mean it finally is starting to like feel real and everyone's like running around
doing cool things and at first I was like oh I'm not gonna care and like cameras are in my face
whatever but it's it'll be a little bit scary. There's a lot more people than I was expecting.
I'm nervous about getting in there and like screenwriting. I have to write a movie and I
know where to start so yeah thinking about the future I get a little bit scared. I came in
pretty much with a clean slate I mean I'm interested in film but I didn't like start off that way so
I felt everyone was gonna be like she doesn't know what she's doing why is she here but
really everyone has been so helpful. I spent the summer after my freshman year
really uncomfortable with myself I even had dreams about going back into the film program
and all working out and that really frustrated me because it felt like my brain was teasing me like
you could do this if you know you wanted to make any sense as a person and I considered that summer
going back I drafted an email but for some reason I didn't send it I guess I just felt cowardly. What
I was really denying was just how scared I was basically every explanation I gave myself to
rationalize changing my major to something new random and completely unconnected to my heart
was a lie. We are on a film shoot I'm doing sound I believe this will be the first time
I've done sound glad I'm getting some experience in that I'm feeling less freshman like which
is kind of nice actually. We're a close knit department I've seen them all before but this
is a higher level of interaction than usual I guess. I definitely want to get on more film sets
because it's fun and a good thing for a film major to do. Producing was extremely frustrating for me
and I was at the point where I was like if this is what film is I don't want to do it
but then after you know directing and writing I was like that's not what film is film is anything
you want to make it to be and that that really helped a lot. Film is amazing film is a way to
let people know like let them in a little bit and see like inside of you I just want to make films
that have some kind of like significant message those are the ones that I I like the most. A lot
of people who in this world don't do what they want to do because they think they have to
and they're miserable despite what they tell themselves and I didn't want to be that way
I wanted to be a storyteller. I want to make films that impact someone's life in some way
I don't want to take this filmmaking responsibility lightly I want to show people things that are
real. I wrote a script that was completely out of my brain I really liked it and other people did
that's what's more important to me it really motivates me to stay on top of my game and next
semester undo what I did the first time around. It's obvious that God has had a hand in everything
that I've done like in in the fact that I dropped nursing and switched to southern for filmmaking
like they're seeing the filmmaking there's it's a huge difference all the skills he's given me in
life and talents have all been made for for this moment for filmmaking and at first I'm like really
nervous and I don't feel like I can do it but then through this process I figure out wow I can do this
and it's fun it's hard work but it's so rewarding and I mean as long as you work for it I feel like
people can do amazing things if you really strive for that goal how quickly you make friends and
how quickly something goes from scary and new to I love this place it's really growing on me.
