Welcome to The Knocking Shop!
We're going to the sixth park!
Come on in, come come!
We've got musicians, we've got
Good cheese, we've got
Painters, we've got
Animal Kingdom
We've got
Decorators, we've got
French kissing
We've got
Electricians
We've got
The Cook and Bull Kid
We've got
Oh my god
We've got
Plumice
Sparkies
And
Oh my god
And look, we have
This gentleman here
What is your name?
I'm Tom
Tom
Of course, it's Tom
Tom Tom Tom
How are you enjoying your drink?
Very much
Good man
Thank you very much
Good man
Okay, well Tom
How about
To introduce you to our
Oh lovely crowd
Look at this
Children of the night
All right, okay
Hey, happy days
I want to introduce the band properly
So, come inside
Come in here
Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm
Yeah
Welcome
Oh
Hey, darlings
Hi there
All right
We're going to step out
With these good souls
With the good shoes
Thank you very much
Can I again, please?
Can I just do it again?
I've got red light
I've got red light syndrome
Hey, darlings
Hi
Hi, hi guys
How are you doing?
Yeah, I'm fine
Okay, we've got
The good shoes
With
Under control
Thank you very much, boys
Mm-hmm
Music
Come on, I want
A lesser feeling
Come on, I get
A lesser need
I got this under
This under
This under
This under
This under
This under
This under control
Your lips turn lip
To taste salty, scared, and weak
Muscles tense
God, tie to my grip
When smooth beings rub
When soft beings hide
And sheepà
Always run
But I've found
Your lips turn
To taste salty, scared, and weak
Muscles tense
God, tie to my grip
When smooth beings rub
When soft beings hide
And sheepà
Always run
But I've got to
Unless I feel it, love all I can
Unless I need it, I got this Sanda
control, I got this Sanda
control, got this Sanda
control, got this Sanda
control
Saga, saga with her legs between
mine to feel bread for my skin to change
lanes and then gears
to me's one, the free land is furnishing
I waste once what I've got to survive
I waste time where you're never satisfied
quench your thirst from a top of my hand
to me's one, the free land is furnishing
I waste once what I've got to survive
the more I want, the less I feel it
the more I can, the less I need it
I got this Sanda can't oga
this Sanda can't oga
this Sanda can't oga
this Sanda control
the more I want, the less I feel it
the more I can
the less I need it
I got this Sanda can't oga
this Sanda can't oga
this Sanda can't oga
this Sanda can't ogo
those lips unlit, those">
his salty skin, his muscles tended
That's the man with the smooth knees run
The soft knees turn and she always wants my heart
My heart can't just survive
Hello, so here we have our Graham
You want to chill out mate?
To start with, can I just say that my name isn't Graham
Alright?
My name is Barry, let's have a chat
Okay, we've got our Graham here on Graham's Gadgets
Graham, what's new this century, this era?
We're going to do a review of what you can buy in charity shop in the local area
Doulston, and basically I went on a spend
And we're looking for devices, you know, modern technology
Do what we can come up with
That's not good
What are you saying mate?
Nothing Graham
Oh look, this is good, this is not a gadget
This is two of
I remember when Gadgets used to be of an electrical kind
Hem and the 8's wives, look, check his style
I had to get him though, look, check him
What do they do though? What Graham?
What do they do?
So what are you doing tonight Silla?
Here we go, now onto some serious gadgets here man
Oh, here we go, Home Appliance series
Talk to me, talk to me, what does it say there?
Read out the...
Okay, yeah, yeah
A lovely clever cooker system
Off, that's going to need some batteries
Get out of this box
Do you know what, the one thing it doesn't tell you is what it is
Cooker, it's a gas cooker
Come on, one pound by the way
That's really one pound, your titties just come off Graham
Let's give the robot some room
What we're trying to point out here is, you know, what you can get for a pound
Graham's gadgets on a budget
I did get a bag of bananas, it's probably better value than every other item
Oh no, we've run a ground, we need a screwdriver
And we've got to fix it man
Anyone got a screwdriver?
And we've got to fix it man, Tech Ben
Tech Ben's going to talk about them
If it's broke, fix it, that's Ben's motto
If it is broke?
If it's broke, fix it
If it's broke, fix it
That's his motto
That's too long
That's too long
But we've got another one that's similar to that, right?
And it's another piece from the same range
The same range from the Knight
How long is a Knight brand?
Being a robot and everything
And they say different things here, look, leading by design
This is part of the Home Appliance series
Again
Yes, exactly, but check it out
Superior performance, new edition, amused
Amused?
Oh, amused
Did you have a juice and orange?
My name is Barry Corrigan
You'll always be Graham to me
I need another screwdriver please
Oh, here we go
Because that's what Home Appliances do, isn't it, Graham?
They play music
We're in a situation now in the future
When Home Appliances have to do more
Than just the primary function
They have to play music and entertain
You know, don't you agree?
Basically, I'll come back from the future, so, you know
Do they have this kind of thing in the future, Graham?
Basically, this particular brand
Started out as making small appliances
And they're called Knight
I'll show you again, you've seen that, Knight
But what you don't know, because you're in the past, basically
Is these soon become like a massive global power
Basically, this company, and will take over the world
And destroy most of the humans
I talk more, like, poignantly about it, but I can't be, you know
It's so upsetting I can't really do it
Let's have another go on that
Let's have another go on that, shall we?
You're like the tin man needs oil, you need red stripe
In the future, though, they haven't got booze
So, that's why I'm enjoying it so much now that I've come back to the past
To hang out with you guys
What do they help with? Is it like some kind of chrome prohibitions action?
There was a point around 2022
Where people start all wearing the same hat again
Like in the 20s and shit, you know
And just go to work, one place
That's when Knight really starts to take over
Because they're getting a whole globalization
And shit like that, wouldn't you?
Ben, have you got a knife?
Bit off here, Ben, I'm technical assistant
What?
Apparently this is a strobe buster
I thought it would be a strobe gun
So you can walk into fabric and just point that thing around
And just go, no!
No, I think the point of it is
Disco must die
Yeah, exactly, it doesn't actually produce strobe
It stops strobe happening
So if you've got a strobe happening and you're like, I'm epileptic
I cannot deal with this
Hit the strobe buster
And you can then dance all night
Then you can chill out and everyone else gets a bit more bored
And now, ladies and gents, we have a very special acoustic performance
From the Cock and Bull Kid singing some of all part
Featuring our very own cello on guitar
I'm soft, but don't patronize We kissed, I couldn't miss
That you were dead behind my eyes Now I was fine to live a lie
Happy and deluded, unaware That it was I who wanted this
All that you did, fashioned you a heart If I could make you feel the way I feel
I'd have the sum of all parts I'd have the elixir for all men's eels
If I could scorned out my pride And lead naked on your flock
I'm a dick, not fat But dedicated to this cause
Now I hear your voice It's logical and cold
Do say a word, silence is gold If I could fashion you a heart
If I could make you feel the way I feel I'd have the sum of all parts
I'd have the elixir for all men's eels If I could fashion you a heart
And save you from your rationale No need to go back to the start
There'd be no harm, there'd be no foul If I could fashion you a heart
If I could fashion you a heart No need to go back to the start
If I could fashion you a heart
I would if I could, but I can't If I had it in the palm of my hand
I know just what I would do I would use it all
I would if I could, but I can't If I had it in the palm of my hand
I know just what I would do I would use it all
Your heart matters
Hi
I'm with Anita of the Cock and Bull Kid Phone
Hi Anita, how are you?
Good thanks, how are you?
Anita, heads or tails?
Heads
Always go for heads
What are you doing on Monday and why?
Are you asking me out?
So we'll start that question again, Anita, I apologise for that
Have you ever been to the Isle of Man?
I wanted to go, but my friend's mum told me a story of being beaten with cricket bats by locals
Having heard that story, would you still go?
Yeah, definitely
You would go to the Isle of Man
Well, I just feel like, I feel like, because I've been to Middlesbrough
You know, I just feel like I could go anyway now
So yeah, I could probably handle it
Maybe the cricket bats, maybe she got spanked by cricket bats
That might make you want to go a little bit more
Why would that make me want to go a little bit more?
Because being beaten by them, being spanked with a cricket bat
But you're implying that I'm into that sort of thing
Well, are you?
Where are you going with this?
Oh, colour yellow is rumoured to be the official colour of magic and super strength
What do you reckon?
It's quite a serene colour
If you had had to kill an animal
Which animal would you kill?
And you're not allowed to say, oh no, I wouldn't kill an animal
Oh no, no, don't worry, I've got to
I definitely would kill a pigeon, because I hate birds
Have you been to Brighton?
Yes, I have
I remember the first time I went to Brighton, the seagulls there are very predatory and selective
Silla says evil
They are quite evil
Why don't you come sit down with us, Silla?
Me, you and the lovely and eater you can talk about, because you used to live in Brighton, didn't you, Silla?
I had a friend who was eating a hamburger, a beef burger, people don't eat hamburgers anymore, do you know?
Not in this country
It's a country now
And yeah, and he was stood there eating it
And a seagull just came down and just picked it out of his hand
They're awful
Is there a way?
Oh no, no, I didn't find a way, ate it
He ate it after the seagulls had...
No, no, the seagull ate it
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Evil things
How do you both feel about magpies?
I still do that thing in my head when I see one, and I have to see another one just to negate it
So an eater doesn't like birds?
Doesn't she?
No
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, have you seen Karate Kid?
Yes, of course I have
Will Smith
He was my first love, I think
Have you ever been in like a fight?
Talking is for losers, and fighting is for winners
But I always miss, he's too quick
You can still do a lot of murdering with an axe
I'm sure you could
But maybe they're just not cool though
No, it's not very cool
You can't carry them on the bus
Obviously
Yeah
So Anita, it's been lovely meeting you
Did I?
And all the best
Thank you
Bye
Look at this, Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham
What have I done?
Look at this
We haven't got the batteries for this, which is unfortunate
But we've got fun toys, presents
Oh, sorry
Six awful sounds, noisemaker
Come on, that's rubbish, just put it away
Alright
Do you want to go with them?
I can't work with this, Graham
Really? Are you upset?
What's the word?
It's a word for your behaviour
Nothing what it is
Do you think I'm some kind of yahoo?
You know what a Google is?
Apparently it's a one with 100 zeros at the end of it
It's basically a number
Really?
Yeah, this is information I've got from another person
So it could be bullshit
That was them talking about how many friends they've got on Facebook
Yeah
