De Nershka, which you all know and love from a multitude of interesting realities.
Some of them love me, some of them hate me, Russell.
But did they all love you, please? For God's sakes, just get that through your mind.
Even though they may rag on you online, they still in turn love you.
I mean, the data is there, the evidence is there.
We've had this conversation, and we'll have it again.
So, De Nershka was with me and the other knuckleheads for Food Network Star of the Night.
She was, infinitely, a fan faker.
They did a little web clip, exit video, let's say, a video called De Nershka Doesn't Care.
Wrong, it's called De Nershka's Not Impressed.
De Nershka's Not Impressed.
De Nershka's Not Impressed, correct.
Get your facts right.
I guess, well, you know, hey, look, I don't have cheat cards in me.
So, De Nershka's Not Impressed.
It had more views than the entire season combined.
I'm not like a million watches or something like that,
and just unbelievable numbers for that little two, three minute vignette of you.
That's how many people loved you.
From Food Network Star, you know, we were sequestered for a month together,
and I stood pretty close to you for the first couple of episodes.
I mean, a few times in the bottom three, and...
You were with me all three times, Russell, don't forget it.
And we, you know, but in turn, after the schedule started to loosen up,
we actually got to spend a lot of time hanging out and just talking.
And I think that a lot of people don't know that you are ridiculously smart,
like men's level smart, and very well-read, and very culture-less.
I said, you know, you're at the ballet, at museums, at art, and fashion,
and, you know, I mean, there are all these things that no one knows about you,
and those are actually the most interesting parts of you,
and it's not the perceived notion of who you are, but the reality of who you are.
And they know the reality me.
Yeah, but that's a wall. That's a character to a certain degree that you play into.
People think that the person, when they see me on reality TV shows,
that that's exactly how I am, but I'm not.
Yeah, it's the farthest from the truth.
It's like...
Well, you know, there is truly a snarky side of you.
You know, there's that cutting...
And, you know, again, it has to do with the fact that, because I love the snarky,
you know, sort of ass kicker that you are, but, you know,
and the other side of the reality is that you're smoking the awesome jet
that you really have good chops that you can actually really fucking cook.
You know, I've seen you throw down.
I mean, we won't talk about potato balls, but, you know, outside of it...
Calf balls. Darling, calf balls.
But, you know, when you're on your game and you're focused and you're not
in the midst of some sort of silly challenges,
that as a chef that you actually have an incredible skill set,
what we perceive is what the network wants from us and what we want to do.
The network wanted us to cry and admit to having been, you know,
on heavy drugs in our past and all kinds of other bullshit.
Yeah, well, you know, I mean, again, there's...
The only discovery I made is filming that show really sucked.
It had its tough moments. It had a lot of... I mean, for me, it had...
It was 11 weeks of some pretty hardcore shit, you know,
and I exceeded the results that I thought I could...
Final three!
Hey, you know, again, maybe I won the electoral vote, but I didn't win the popular vote.
I won the whole thing in my head. I was like, I win. Peace out.
I'm like, this sucks, and I don't want to be cold and hungry and sequestered,
and you can all blow me. Bye-bye.
