I'm 45 years old, and I have quite a normal life, but until now, where I'm now suffering from the most terminal form of cancer of the brain of a tumour called glistoma multiform.
Where has God been in my life up to this point? Well, Mum took us to church, she took us to the local church of England church, and I went to the local Sunday school and progressed through the Sunday schools, and I think it meant something to me, nothing particularly.
I think when I was about 11, I could see the relevance of it in my life, but nothing more than that. But when I was particularly 17, I could particularly point to a time where God meant something to me.
I saw that Jesus is my living saviour, and that he was there for me, and I had the promise of eternal life through Jesus, and that really cemented my faith and cemented my belief.
And from that point, I progressed to take Sunday school lessons and to help out in the youth group, and felt that was something that was my way of giving something back to God.
So, a dynamised plans are working out. Our human plans are working out. Year or two, we're going to pay off our mortgage, everything is going smoothly. However, God's plan is different from what our plan is, and I feel it's quite right to have your own plans, but you have to accept that God's plan is going to be different for you.
So, where am I now? Well, in May, I had a massive seizure. In fact, Diane thought I was dead. I collapsed on the floor. I actually, Diane had to call the ambulance, the kids were very distressed, I was taken to hospital.
But then, a couple of weeks after that, I had another massive seizure. In this instance, Diane thought I was brain damaged because I was totally incoherent and totally out of it.
Taken to hospital again, eventually transferred to Dereford, where they investigated, and I was seeing a particular consultant, the top man, and he came and saw me, but he then had to go up to Glasgow for a lecture, and I saw somebody else who had interpreted the scam and said there was nothing wrong.
I just had water on the brain, keep on taking the tablets, and I'd be okay. Now, at that time, I had a lot of people praying for me, praying for my situation, and one particular friend who has first prayed that I have a Christian surgeon, but then prayed that I would have a person who would be experienced and know what they're looking for, and I believe that was critical in what happened next.
Also, Diane was led, I believe, by God, to phone, to speak to the surgeon secretary to say she was not happy with the first doctor's decision and wanted it for investigated.
However, before that had happened, the surgeon, I believe, through prayer, had decided to look at the scam himself and said he was not happy with what he found. He could not see exactly, but wanted a further scam with Diane, called Contrast.
So, I had that. He then said that he'd found something that needs further investigation and would need surgery, possibly an infection, possibly a tumour, maybe Livelland, maybe not.
Then, a week later, I went up to Dereford to have my surgery. How was I at this point? I was fine. I was calm. I knew God's plan, I was in God's hand, and God's will would be whatever would happen, but I was calm, as was Diane.
Yes, it was turmoil. Yes, it was distress, but we were calm in what was going on. So, I had the surgery on Friday. On Monday, Diane and I were around while I was in bed. Diane was there, sitting, visiting me.
The surgeon made a point to come and see us. At that point, I had said that, unfortunately, it was not an infection, it was a malignant tumour. The most malignant form of brain tumour, called glistoma multiform, when we asked my life expectancy, he said, possibly six months, possibly a year to two years.
How were we then? Yes, we were devastated. Yes, we had a cry. Yes, we were heartbroken. That day was a very black day. However, after that day, when we got over the initial shock, how were we then?
Well, I went back to Tuesday on Tuesday to home, had a cuddle with my children, and I had a cry with them, but then we were strong. We had God. I knew that God's plan would be whatever it would be. God's will would be there, but I knew where I was going.
I knew that I had the promise of eternal life, and I knew that whatever might happen, God would be there. Then I'm now on chemotherapy. I have to go through six months of that. In fact, I'm just taking the tablets now.
Is there any hope? I don't know, but I do know there's hope in God. I do know that with God supporting me, I have hope, and I have hope in him. I do feel the fight in the fight being positive is important.
Without God, as I said before, I don't know how I'd be now, but I would not be smiling at you. I'd be very down. I pray that you will also feel the fact that you need in your life God and Jesus so that when low times happen, which they do to us all, you will find God and Jesus to turn to as I have.
May God bless you.
