Hello, you are watching the program face-to-face, we are very happy to have our new meeting and we are happy to have the opportunity to tell about how the Lord represents our life.
We believe that today's program will bring hope to many homes. Let's meet our guest, her name is Guzel Nizhdanov. Hello, Gulya.
Tell me, please, what was your problem?
I was in drug addiction for about 10 years.
That is, quite a long time. At what age did you first take drugs?
In 22 years.
That is, quite an adult person. As a rule, the guys who are sitting in your chair, they say that it was not intentional, while they were still quite young, maybe in 15 years, someone even in 13, someone in 17.
But in general, in 22 years, in order to start taking drugs, you probably needed some kind of very serious stress.
And let's turn to the moment of your family, your birth. Where were you born?
I was born in Bashkiria, in a Muslim family. That is, my mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, they are all Tatars.
You were born in such a really strict family.
Yes, in fact, I had a father. My father was a rather strict person. Well, maybe even too strict.
Yes, yes, yes. That is, now I look at it with my adult eyes, I think, maybe he had a mental illness, not everything is fine.
Because of the systematic beating of his mother, he allowed himself such things in the house.
I grew up and I still have a younger sister.
That is, we have seen all this together, how it all happens.
Julia, what are your feelings, this beating was called, fear, fear, desire not to run away from home?
Or just interesting, what are your feelings after the child?
Fear. Just, yes, just panic fear, that he will make a bad mother, then he will also do something with us.
Because he was very strict, a very strict person.
That is, exactly fear for his life, literally.
Yes, yes, yes. That is, as I understand it, in general, you did not have a father, he was a father, he was a person who kept you in strict frames of his understanding.
But so that he was a kind and kind friend to you, you did not have this, yes?
He was trying to be such a friend, but he had these crimes, he used alcohol, not often, but he used it.
And when he had these, he had some kind of crimes, I don't know, madness, just these are not human eyes.
Well, it's something, of course.
Well, alcohol really affects the consciousness very much, especially since it affects each person in a different way.
There are enough people, exactly this much.
A person becomes aggressive, angry and cannot even give a report on his actions and actions.
Apparently, it was your father.
Maybe, yes. And he had, of course, work, he was a policeman, maybe these are some...
I can't explain it now, he is not alive now, he died three years ago, but nevertheless, we had a family like this.
Well, most likely, this is still a problem, his character, such an explosive character for a man, in general,
for many people is enough, this explosive character, some kind of aggressiveness, desire to defend something, it is not clear,
but what exactly to defend aggressively.
Of course, well, it's sad that you had such a father, because every girl wants to be probably kind, good,
loving, who could talk to her, let's say, so friendly.
But, please, tell me, was he with you all the time, and what happened to your family,
due to the fact that he behaved like this?
How much did your mother have?
My mother was 11 years old.
11 years old, yes.
I was 11 years old when my parents divorced.
According to the Muslim community, the divorce is not accepted at all, there is a family there,
this is the institution of marriage and family, that is, we had so much as if it was an indicator,
reading of the elderly, here we have it, it's like I have been laid off since childhood,
I love older people in general, to communicate with them, because there is such a wisdom, and I can't take it anywhere.
That is, I like to communicate with older people.
But when they divorced, and this feeling of distrust, that I now have no father,
and my mother, when she was with two children, when she was left,
she started working more, and her job became to be at home.
That is, she somehow tried to give us education, somehow she tried to raise us,
I really love her, I don't judge her, I don't judge her at all.
Here, it's really not a judgment of the case, first of all, she got into the strongest stress.
When people seem to live so badly, but then, when the divorce happens, they still fall into depression.
It's very hard and it hurts to survive.
Moreover, women stay with children who need to be brought up, who need to feed and drink,
and probably at some point in time she just didn't give up, and then she realized that she had to work a lot.
That is, in fact, let's say, all the problems, practically, in your family, they were at the maximum.
Problems with your father, problems with divorce, problems with leave, with infirmity, and so on.
As a rule, it happens that girls from such a family very early get married.
You want to find this protection somewhere, if your father didn't give it,
because, after all, your father is a protection for girls, for boys, it doesn't matter, it's such a reliable protection.
And it all happened and she is trying to find this protection somewhere else.
Yes, I got married at the age of 16, and my husband also grew up in a family where there was a divorce,
where his mother also consumed alcohol, from which she died, from bleeding, from the brain.
That is, after the repression, she did not come to herself, she ended up.
Well, here we are with my husband, I was 16, and we are 18, that is, young, green, let's say.
But all the same, this is the first love, and we had a son, everything was very good.
In my opinion, and of course, problems began in personal life, that is, she began to change me.
When, after the birth of a child, well, now, of course, I have already become older,
I have read a lot of literature about this, yes, why this is happening.
Here, he began to simply change me and met another girl.
I turned to my mother for help, but if she herself solved her problem by divorce,
that is, she also told me the same thing, let it go wherever she wants, that is, we collect things and let it go.
Well, he left, I went to give it to the right, I have a car left, I gave it to the right, started to work on my own,
started with money, started with friends, that is, the same friends, they already...
Then I came to the drugs of my life, yes, that's what happened to me, that's already in my life, divorce, almost.
A year later, as he left, I began to consume, at first I smoked, how it all happens with light drugs.
Then somehow it was considered fashionable, it was the 90s, only the first night clubs.
Freedom that is full of cups, you still don't understand what it is.
Yes, of course, it is, of course, freedom, not in what I want and do, how I want to live, I want to smoke, I want to smoke, I want to smoke, I want to smoke, I want to smoke.
Freedom is when you are free to make a choice, that is, and addiction, these cigarettes and alcohol, and drugs,
and addiction, this is not freedom. Well, I just got into this time of the 90s, let's say, with these drugs.
Then she learned about it, as if my husband, yes, he returns to his family, but already...
The dependence on this addiction...
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
... is a little serious addiction.
In fact, this wound, it somehow did not heal, even from the father, when it became even more and more.
And I couldn't forgive him this change, that he left.
That is, you, as a blind kitten, tried everywhere to find some kind of protection, help, support, but it turned out the other way around,
and your father betrayed you.
Well, yes.
Your beloved person, you thought, here, finally, I can be happy, your beloved person betrays you.
I went to look for, let's say, this happiness on the street, and there, too, instead of a beautiful life,
you just put a pack in the form of drugs, in the form of cigarettes, in the form of alcohol.
And again, disappointment and fear.
Well, first of all, you don't think about it, first of all, of course, when you start just to consume,
you think that everything is fine, because in fact, as if you are leaving reality, you forget, and it's convenient, you know?
I understand this perfectly.
That is, a person, when there are many problems, he cannot live in problems for a very long time, he needs to go somewhere.
This is a runaway from problems.
I understand this perfectly.
Well, it was convenient for them to run away like this.
Nothing to see, nothing to hear, to forget, and to dissolve somewhere.
Then, again, coming to yourself, again, this is reality, it comes, and it is not pink, it is black and white,
in fact, life is not, well, it's not just some kind of euphoria.
It's all serious.
And that's how it all continued.
Then I couldn't forgive him for a long time, that is, for a long time, when he came back, I consumed everything.
But he proved his love again.
He didn't leave me, he was constantly in the hospital.
Wherever we just didn't address, in general, to get rid of it, to get rid of it.
But now I kind of understand that I didn't want this myself.
Because if a person wants something, he gets it.
And, kind of, yes, the desire, the decision, the human decision, it can all be, kind of, yes?
And the person took the decision, I didn't have this decision.
Because of the fact that I couldn't forgive him.
This is not forgiveness, it's just, you know, it's like the handcuffs.
It's not forgiveness.
It's not forgiveness, it's a terrible load.
A person who doesn't forgive, he doesn't even really understand what a terrible load is.
And he, first of all, destroys it.
Not even the person you don't forgive, but his.
But it's very hard to forgive, in fact.
Here I had just such a situation with me.
And he took all sorts of different actions, of course.
He was sitting with me at home, he was taking me to the hospital.
And at one beautiful moment, he was sitting with me the day, and at night he was going to taxi to the car.
But somehow the means were needed for life.
And at one beautiful day, he just didn't come home.
And I felt with my heart that I would never see him again.
And that's how it happened.
After three days, they called the police and said that they found a person in the morgue.
And you can go to recognize him.
And the first day when he came home to spend the night, I felt all this already.
Because my heart is still the same.
And when I went to the police, I tried to write a statement.
But they laughed at me for a long time.
They said, go home.
He will come home, the young guy.
He will come home in three days.
And that's it.
I understood perfectly well that something was wrong here and something terrible happened to him.
Of course, I didn't go home.
I went back to my usual road, to look for peace.
Because I didn't believe in what was inside.
It was scary.
It was scary to believe.
And after three days, they found him in the morgue.
The time was February.
It was winter.
I don't know what really happened.
They took him out of the city for 60 kilometers.
On the road, he was thrown out of the car.
He died from the cooling.
The doctors said.
And when the body cools down,
all his internal organs change their chemical composition.
His blood and so on.
And the real reason?
They couldn't figure it out.
They couldn't figure it out.
He was from the cooling.
How did I live three years after his death?
God knows.
I had nine attempts at suicide in three years.
I was in a psychiatric hospital nine times.
I wanted to end my life.
To leave this life?
Yes.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't accept it.
The power of human beings wasn't enough.
It's impossible to survive without God.
As you say, you want to leave this life and go somewhere.
And at that time, every three months,
such crimes occurred to me.
And the next time it happened,
I met a girl with one.
She was as dependable as I am.
And she had a similar fate with me.
I was even surprised.
I was not the only one.
She had a husband.
He hung up when he was sick.
When he was sick.
He hung up.
He didn't have any life.
We met.
Then she called me and asked me how I was doing.
I said everything was fine.
I said no.
She said I was in the rehabilitation center.
My life didn't change.
She held me for two minutes.
She said I could do it.
You know, when the whole world turns away from a person,
I hold everyone in my hands.
I have no chances to live normally.
When you have the right words,
I feel like something has gone up in my head.
I can't resist it.
I literally turned around in three days.
I had difficulties.
When I came to the center,
I was told it was a Christian center.
I was raised in a Muslim family.
I would go to the streets and pray.
I would go to the streets and pray.
The laws were still preserved.
I had a big question.
Did I need it? How can I do it?
I grew up with it since I was a child.
I came to the center on a day.
I didn't realize it at first.
I thought I had to do it for my formality.
When I came to the church,
when I was called to the church,
I was the first to run away.
I accepted Christ with all my heart.
My life started to change.
My decision, my faith,
started to change.
Did your faith become real?
Yes.
I had hope that everything would be different.
I went through rehabilitation in 2006.
After that, I had some mistakes in my life.
I want to live a different life.
I went through rehabilitation.
I stayed in the center to help the guys who came to this addiction.
I realized that everything God gives in life is for the testimony.
Everything is for the blessing, for the testimony.
In fact, I realized what Jesus did in my life.
Jesus became a servant.
He became a servant to me.
It was His act that He died for me.
For me to be free. I am very grateful to Him.
Now my heart, you know,
maybe it's a name, a different name,
volunteers. I want to do it.
I want to help people, in fact.
I also help the addicted now.
We also have a rehabilitation center.
We also support the guys.
I want to live a different life.
Thank God.
I want to tell the following.
I don't think it's a big deal.
Because Allah or God calls Him to eat.
It is God who creates.
It is God who holds everything.
It is God who created heaven and earth.
And Christians worship this God.
And Muslims worship this God.
And Jews worship this God.
Just these are several forms of worship in religions.
But Christ became an intermediary.
This intermediary between God and man.
Because the Almighty God who we worship,
He made it possible that Christ went to death.
Therefore, God the Creator, of course,
is the one we should bless with.
And Jesus has already realized the plan of God.
And we already love Him.
Because He has passed the human life,
He is closer to us.
He is more clear to us.
And really, He can only be one intermediary
between God and man.
Thank God for this wonderful plan of salvation
was realized by God, the Creator,
God who created the earth and everything that is on the earth.
Therefore, in principle,
all these betrayals are made up by people
in order to sow some kind of religious enemy.
We all worship one God.
And, of course, we have an amazing intermediary
who is given to each person.
Anyone can really accept him,
Jesus Christ and the Muslim.
And there is no tragedy in this.
And there is no betrayal in this.
Because only He went to the cross.
This is real.
And He died for a person.
Thank God, really, I can only
thank God for this.
It happened that all humanity
now has the opportunity to save
only thanks to Jesus Christ.
I still want to come back
a little bit more
and talk a little bit about it.
You had a son, right?
It would seem that a small child
usually gives strength to live a woman.
But your grief, it was probably
so big that
what did your son mean to you
when your husband began to change you?
In what way?
Did your grief turn over
that you have a child?
Then your husband died.
He didn't become a center.
It didn't work out so that
your son gave you strength to live.
What were your relationships with him
before? What are they now?
Tell us about your son, please.
Well, I have a child
in general, blessed.
Of course.
Despite the fact that
he has such a mother,
such a father
and so on.
That is, he perfectly finished school.
He entered the university.
He finished the first course
of the university of railway
information technology.
That is, he is now a faculty.
A very serious faculty.
He is a very young child, thank God.
Yes.
But now,
at this time,
it will be amazing
that he is the same as me.
I started looking for a way
somewhere else in my time.
But my son is also,
apparently,
these are computers,
these are all computer technologies.
But he, of course,
now decided to live his life
to connect with this.
Now, in the worry of all parents,
not too many children
spend time with computers.
There are probably too many,
but this is the reality of our time.
This is a problem of our time.
But from this,
practically, they are probably nowhere to be found.
Because every time they dictate
some of their problems.
Your time is headache.
Indeed, there was an increase in drugs.
But a lot.
The guys just died.
Now there is some kind of virtual world
that is now affecting people.
The departure from reality,
only in a different form.
Maybe it is better
not to have drugs,
not to be transferred,
not to the limit of life and death.
But in general,
to the limit of life and death.
You know, it is so,
it is such an addiction
that sometimes people
go crazy.
In fact,
I know that there were even
computer games
in China,
where they played
these games.
And there it came to murder.
They first played in the computer.
And then when they actually met,
transferred everything to reality.
Then killed this hero
somehow already in the game.
And here, apparently, they could not cope
with this anger.
And in reality,
just killing this person is
very serious.
I know that gaming is
now in the first place.
More than drugs.
It is more of a scarier addiction.
In fact, it is so.
And then there is a tragedy,
maybe, of game machines
or just games that are on computers.
People get used to the reality
that is given.
You can kill a person 10 times
and raise it.
And they have this normal grudge
that if I kill you,
it seems like it will rise again
and then it will work.
In fact, this is a tragedy
of our time.
Where does he live with you?
He lives with my mother
in Ekaterinburg.
He studies there.
I have a wonderful relationship
with him.
It is a mutual relationship.
Because the relationship is
somehow in one direction.
It is somehow egoistic.
He gives me something.
I give him.
He came to me
on the summer holidays.
I can not breathe.
We communicate.
We talk. He started to pray.
Because there he does not go to church
in Ekaterinburg.
But now he made a decision, of course.
Listen to this decision.
The decision begins. Without any pressure.
I give him just the right to choose.
He sees everything perfectly.
He sees how we lived.
He knows.
He sees
what is happening to me now.
Thank God.
I saved him for the first year.
He already believed.
He believed.
It is probably difficult to believe.
He is waiting for his relatives.
They are waiting for him again.
Yes.
We have a completely different level
of communication.
He is already becoming an adult.
He said.
Mom, do not worry.
Make your life better.
I will not leave my grandmother.
I will live with my grandmother.
He understands.
It is the most important thing.
He understands.
It is very good.
We even have this.
He is 16 years old.
We are like brothers and sisters.
He is taller than me.
We are like brothers and sisters.
They accept.
He is not open.
I cannot hide anything.
I have already learned how to do it.
Thank God.
Thank God.
Because it is somehow...
With computers.
I think...
It will solve the problem.
Of course.
Everything will be fine.
I know.
God will help you.
Thank you for being with us today.
Thank you, dear friends.
We really hope that this program
will bring hope to many of your houses.
All the best to you.
See you next time.
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