You
Everybody is always searching for something be it someone to praise a
woman to take to bed or if it suits your fancy just the roughest stuff to
gulp down my story is no different from any other my name is John Smith I'm a
nobody from the shadows is where I came and it is there I will vanish my story
begins in the damp alleyways of our city in the staunch darkness in the
Shepherds
They beat me down, and when I came to, I was in a world of hurt.
They beat me down, and when I came to, I was in a world of hurt.
They beat me down, and when I came to, I was in a world of hurt.
They beat me down, and when I came to, I was in a world of hurt.
I've seen a lot of things in my day of nothing quite like that.
Who's there?
Oh, I'm just flailing.
That high-pitched squealing.
Not to mention getting tossed around like a little rag doll.
I couldn't tell if it was a girl screaming or a pig giving butcher.
It appears to have been a ladder.
This isn't amusing.
Even my apple's ruined.
The way you're obsessed and screaming, someone's going to think I'm taking advantage of you.
Pull yourself together, kid.
What monster of mixed martial arts taught you to throw yourself into a fight like that?
I've never had to fight before.
I come from a respectable family.
Oh, God.
Moaning like a little bitch is hardly deemed respectable.
I don't need your negativity.
I'm going home.
Hold on there, Chad.
That didn't mean no disrespect.
Don't just by looking at you, you've got the heart of a hero.
I'm Shirley's grandson, Shirley.
Really?
Did I start?
My parents almost told me I was destined to share my greatness with the world.
Ah, they were not wrong.
All you need to do is grasp the will of the gods by the balls and take that vengeance to the court of your enemies.
I'm not sure I have the courage.
I can give you the courage.
You'll wear with all to look your enemy in the eye of poetic justice and say, who's the bitch now?
Tell me, Trump.
Homero's Christophoros hypothesis.
Look there.
They call me Homer.
Homer, tell me what to do.
It's called Hirojuice.
Or is it hero?
Either way, two drinks of this stuff will make you hard as nails.
Four forced to be reckoned.
And six, you'll be the most feared shadow hunter of the night.
Nothing's happening.
Oh, damn it, boy.
Mona Lisa wasn't painting overnight.
Just give it time.
John, John Smith.
Go, John Smith.
Go.
Go, John Smith.
Go darkness into the night and hunt down the vile beings that are brought to you.
Hey, handsome.
Any actions tonight?
Yeah, daddy.
Looking for a good time?
No, not tonight, ladies.
Come on, baby.
I'm looking for a real man.
Besides, you can have both of us for the price of what?
You're talking my bare money, ladies.
You'd best make it up to me.
We put the oral in morals, baby.
Damn silence.
The old timer told me to get even.
Settle the score.
I sure as hell planned to.
But first things first, my head was throbbing, my face bleeding, and my chest felt like it had been bashed in by a wrecking ball.
I took another swig of the hero juice, and I felt the pain begin to slip away.
Now that I was cleaned up, it was time that I began the search for the less than worthy adversaries.
Damn, stay a secret.
Let him sit here.
I could smell her scent as I leaned in towards her luscious lips.
It was the smell of a thousand broken hearts, loneliness, and peppermint schnobs.
By the time I looked up, the woman was gone along with her class.
Where was I?
Ah yes, the less than worthy adversaries, the task at hand.
It was 1.30 in the morning, and I'd yet to find those that had left me for dead.
But wait, what's that?
I feel the tremor in all things good and righteous.
I figured I had enough hero juice pumping through my veins that they would be merely
a brush off.
Oh yeah?
Oh yeah?
So I started talking.
I started off with things about their mothers, about myself and their mothers, then things
about myself and their grandmothers.
I'll do the same but nastier.
Oh my god.
What's going on.
I
Want a fucking hand cannon
At least in the air
This is my shop and I don't want any irate degenerate the bass in here
This is my fucking shop now. I want you to get me my gun and I want you to get it now
Playing it in my head was one thing
But playing it for real was something else
What do you want besides blondes and bottles I'm on that
What's back clothes? We don't pay clothes here
just girls
And we only take cash
Shit just my luck. Where did these come from?
I
Wanted revenge although my reason for revenge was nothing to the likes of Batman whose family was murdered or spider-man whose uncle was murdered or the Punisher whose
Yes, it family was murdered
No, I just had my backpack jacked in my pride along with my graphic novel crushed and torn to shreds
But I was volcanic eruption of hero juice and that's all I needed to have marbles for vengeance
Who the hell are you
What what was my name I tried to think John
Jimmy I
Tried to say it out loud, but it sounded more like
Jintura
I'll get the fuck out of here, man. Hmm. They're juices really done at this time. I think it was getting to me
Yep, the bottle is empty. Whoops
I tried to focus on them as hard as I tried the worst it came
Oh
Oh, I got something for this print. There we
Good to me hero and villain
No weapons
No shields. I rushed that bastard and threw my head into his fist and my gut into his knee
And I gave him a work over for all the wrongs. He done me
Oh
Oh, who was she all I knew of her was that she emblazoned my heart
When I woke seductress in red was nowhere to be seen
Left me with nothing but a bad edge and a foul taste in my mouth
Not to mention my head was throbbing and my entire body was aching from the night before
Sure, it was fun landing some punches, but I never realized how bad a hero got their ass kicked
I
Couldn't take being a hero any longer the juice was getting to me taking me over the last thing I need is an addiction
Not to mention I'm fucking tired. I'm narrating my life and that floozy she took my favorite lava lamp to boot
That's why I'm before you know my mother gave me that lamp. I want it back
Well kid, let's see what I can do
Judging by the description of this lady in red she shouldn't be hard to find
I do however have one remaining question
This uh hero juice homework keeps going on about what's it made of
I caught up with him this morning and he gladly gave me the secret recipe
Stuff can be made from ingredients found anywhere supermarkets gas stations the like
I know it's called hero juice, but the uh the primary ingredient can be found under the name of Jack Daniels
So
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You
