Previously on Machinsky Yeti Cop
Goddammit Machinsky, you've wrecked your last patrol car.
Effective immediately, you're a bike cop.
Cuddles is gonna burn my Yeti ass.
Where the hell have you been, Machinsky?
Your partner's dead.
No!
Sorry, I just had a Yeti moment there.
Detective Cuddles is dead.
Goddammit Machinsky, you're half Yeti, not half deaf.
Captain Dingle, you gotta put me on this case.
The only leads we have are the person who saw him last.
With this pile of DNA.
Are you sure it's DNA?
It sure the hell tastes like DNA.
Is it Cuddles DNA?
I don't know, but I bet my firstborn's face that it is DNA.
We're holding Jake Gravenstein, wellness instructor.
He was the last person to see him.
You better use your Yeti powers before this case goes cold.
Oh, Jake, Jake, Jake.
Now we can do this one of two ways, Jake.
We can do it the cop way.
Or we can do this the Yeti way.
You can't do this to me, I've got a bright two Yeti bastard.
Well, Jake, I think you just chose the Yeti way.
What? Don't! No!
Okay, okay, enough.
Geez, enough, enough.
Look, I'll tell you everything, okay?
Cuddles came over to my flat last night.
We were gonna do some drinking.
Maybe some body massage.
That's the thing I know, I end up with my arm up to my elbow.
Oh, wait, that was last week.
Anyway, I think we just had some drinks and passed out,
and I woke up alone the next morning.
Okay, okay, I think I got it straight.
But I'm gonna have to let you know something,
since we're so honest right now, I feel like we have this bond.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to drop the charges if you know what I mean.
No, no! You!
Oh, yeah.
I have never seen such a sick, demented nipple shocker in my life.
You ain't seen nothing yet, Jake.
You ain't seen nothing yet, Jake.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Cuddles, what have they done to you, those bastards?
What's that?
Mom, what was that?
I think it was Bigfoot.
Oh, Mom, actually, it was a Yeti.
It was a Yeti.
Who are you, and what have you done with Detective Cuddles?
You fool.
If you didn't rely on your Yeti power so heavily, you might have recognized me earlier.
It's me, your old partner.
Cuddles.
You can't be Cuddles. Cuddles is dead.
Wait.
Cuddles, it is you!
But why?
It's a long story.
But I think you deserve to hear it.
All of it.
Next week on Machinsky, Yeti Cop.
That makes sense, you sick son of a bitch.
People like you, you deserve prison.
It is you.
