Yeah, this is hello, all right, we're by 10.
No, there's no one following us now, definitely.
Wait, wait, I said I didn't hear you. I didn't hear what you said.
We were talking to someone else.
What are you looking at in the match with us?
He's like talking to other people.
Don't go down the stairwell.
Oh, come on.
806.
We want 806.
Right there.
Yes.
Can we go in there?
We're going to go in.
We're going in.
Okay.
Please do not open script in front of us.
I have a script in front of me, so the anti-conference conference 1119.
And there's a anti-conference conference logo.
Oh, here it is. I'm going to call again.
What happened?
Call again. It didn't work.
I'm going to take my computer app, because he had told me before that maybe I should use my computer.
Yes, we have our scripts here.
Yes.
I'm booting it up now, computer.
It should be built in then, you know.
Okay.
I'm going to call back.
So which one of you is the mood app?
Look, there's a whole thing over there. It's an RIT. It's almost like a packet kind of thing.
Yeah.
Maybe he's in there.
You're never out.
I'm going to boot up here.
Name that ringtone. Hold on.
Oh, I've got to put the stupid code in.
I have it in my pocket.
Hold on.
Yeah, yeah.
Why does it every time get put the stupid code into this hotel?
It won't sit down yet.
Photography doesn't have a seat, so it's just standing.
I can sit down.
You want me to move the seat back?
You want you to stand like back here in this area?
He wants everyone to be in this general area.
Yes, we're all like by the table and sitting around and stuff.
So there's a restroom that we can use. You're not in it?
Okay, so if anyone needs a restroom, that's it.
But don't cross this imaginary line, right? That's kind of the idea.
Sorry, I apologize.
I mean, from now on, because there's going to be stuff happening.
I guess we're on safety, right?
I'm going to go on Twitter now, and I guess you're going to be typing on Twitter.
Are you going to come talk to us or what's going to happen?
We'll see, okay.
All right, I'm logging on to Twitter.
Okay, all right, goodbye.
So, I'm going to be getting some kind of audio because the speaker is on there.
All right, we'll see.
Hold on.
On Twitter at akpc conference starting now.
Less than five seconds ago. Hey, look at that.
So it started.
Okay, so now he's late.
He's just sitting late.
All right, let's hold this for a second.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome to the Andy Kaufman press conference.
Please feel free to eat, drink, use flash photography, and any recording device that you like.
We only ask that you do not smoke.
Smoking causes lung cancer.
As well as every hundred of...
Speaker on table over there.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome to the Andy Kaufman press conference.
Please feel free to eat, drink, use flash photography, and any recording device that you like.
We only ask that you do not smoke.
Smoking causes lung cancer.
As well as every hundred of cleaning being added to the cost of the room.
Okay, the one monster guy is on the move.
The one monster guy, that's a camera.
And Bryce was just swinging the chandelier for the atmosphere.
For your enjoyment, we now present the Andy Kaufman press conference.
Now the place, now the place is back.
So we must have gotten things.
Please check the page one of your scripts and follow these instructions.
There we go.
Okay.
I was supposed to sing that, sorry.
I was supposed to sing that, sorry.
I was supposed to sing that, sorry.
I was supposed to sing that, sorry.
I was supposed to sing that, sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
please turn to page two of your scripts and follow the instructions.
Okay.
Okay.
The camera may have left again.
See, I'm just backing up right here.
Wait a second.
Andy Kaufman, oh, I forgot.
That's Neil from Ireland talking to him.
He said break a leg.
Did the cameraman be Andy Kaufman?
For thee?
For me.
Are you back again?
We're going to take the camera, right?
Nah.
We're going to take the camera, right?
There's somebody behind there, I think.
There's somebody inside there.
Okay.
There's somebody inside there.
Oh, it's a little puppet show.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
please turn to page three of your scripts and follow the instructions.
We're going to take the camera, right?
Okay.
Okay.
I think I see a Santa Claus suit.
There's like white fur on his arm.
Uh-oh, right?
Oh, Jesus, it's action Jesus.
It's action Jesus.
It's action Jesus.
Okay.
It's the funny Christ.
It's the funny Christ.
It's the funny Christ.
It's the funny Christ.
Okay.
Please turn to page four of your scripts and follow the instructions.
Please turn to page five of your scripts and follow the instructions.
Bro.
Nice.
Shall I start?
Yes, you were to read this out loud.
On the Road Again, originally published in the Great Neck Guide Post, Friday, May 14, 1965, Part 1.
Note about the author, Andy G. Kaufman has traveled around Greenwich Village in San Francisco with such people as Alan Ginsberg, Gregory Corso, and a few girls.
During the summer, he plans to travel across the country with Jack Harawak, Dean Moriarty, and a few girls.
It's funny how things do come up so suddenly.
With me, the thing happened on a Sunday afternoon.
That morning, my father had driven me to Sunday school.
In the car, he had yelled about my not having a girlfriend.
That afternoon, I was about to take a bottle of sleeping pills when the phone rang.
Hello, I heard the sweet little voice of a girl about my age.
Please turn to page six of your scripts and follow the instructions.
I'll read in your place.
I die each day and it is giving me death.
I realize that I should not care.
For if she were the one for me, she would call.
But sometimes we must, at least I, do things I shouldn't.
Or maybe you should.
I can't help thinking of the smile I heard, the philosophy, the questions, that voice, the beautiful smart babe.
Maybe someday I shall find her, or someone like her.
I shall keep searching for her phone call, and I shall wait until...
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please turn to page seven of your scripts and follow the instructions.
Please turn to page eight of your scripts and follow the instructions.
Our days were spent in the coffee shop on Main Street, where we sat for entire afternoons drinking espresso and playing gin rumby with each other.
One day a shabby man of about thirty entered the place. His clothes were dirty and looked like rags. His face was marked with several days worth of stubble and his hands were dark with dirt and grease.
His jacket was torn, his hair was matted and more than likely contained lice.
Those who worked there paid him a distant cordial hello, and customers tried to avoid coming near him, moving out of his way and changing tables to be as far from him as possible.
He sat down in a booth in the back and ordered coffee, attempting to flirt with the waitress at the same time.
The chief and I looked at him without much notice, only acknowledging that he seemed not to fit in with what we'd seen of the rest of the citizens of the town.
We didn't dwell on the matter and had no opinion of the man, so in short time we forgot about him and went back to our game of cards.
Later in the afternoon he approached our table. At first we both felt a little anxious at this interruption.
As we drew closer we started to smell a permanent odor wafting from his body.
We planned on answering whatever he was going to ask quickly and hoped that he would flee, but as he approached he said in a very clear and intelligent manner that he'd seen me in the circus doing my high wire act and enjoyed my work very much.
I felt flattered and the chief shared my joy. The man introduced himself as Larry, shook our hands and invited us to dine at his house that very evening.
His mansion was actually situated at the end of a dead end street, right on the tip of a cul-de-sac, which is shared with only one other house, a small one by comparison, which we found out later was used as the servants' quarters.
No one lived in it at present though, because most of the servants had their own houses to go to, so the little house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house was a very small house, but it was a very small house.
The house was very small, but the house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house was very small, but the house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house was very small, but the house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house was very small, but the house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
The house remained unoccupied for the time being.
Thank you for watching.
