We are this close, this close, to the rumble, shake, and tumble of wagons.
But first of all, anybody who has been following the hype, the talk, the advanced buzz
about this particular show will know that we have a special surprise guest planned for tonight.
And sure enough, here to perform a personal and touching and heartfelt tribute to the undisputed
star of tonight's show, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, the DC3!
I went for a big job interview. They said it was down to the last two and I'd have been perfect
for it too, but the other candidate was Henry Wagons. My lover blinked to bedroom eyes, said
you're good, what a surprise, you could be my perfect guy, if you were more like Henry Wagons.
Well, who's worked in my side of the street? Henry fucking Wagons, except he was doing it long
before me. Henry fucking Wagons, who looks better in a hat? Henry fucking Wagons, who's our poet
laureate? Henry fucking Wagons, who beat me at little apps? Henry fucking Wagons, who's good
at English and the maths? Henry fucking Wagons, who caught me watering my lawn? Henry fucking
Wagons, in the shower with all my lights on? Henry fucking Wagons, whoa! Henry fucking Wagons, whoa!
Henry fucking Wagons, when I was a pencil man, who ruled HFW and who bumped me in the swimming pool?
HFW and meet all the popular girls' drool? Well, that was Henry Wagons, because when
they taught cool at high school, I must have been wagon. Well, I'm great, but who's the best?
No way, let me guess. G'day, we're the DC3. This song is on our new album called The Future Sound
of Nostalgia. We're launching it on September 10th at the corner. It's going to be a huge night.
We've got Pinky Beep Rock playing his old machine gun fallatio songs, The Bedroom Philosopher,
and the DC3, backed by a team of carpenters. It's going to be a cross between the block and pink
floats the wall. Check it out at thedc3.com.au. That's if you don't hate us.
Who's above me in a Google search? Who's like jeans when I'm like lurch? Who goes rock when I
go sins? Who's even been seen out with my misses? Who's full of Christian tenderness? Who'd never
write a song like this? Who gets the critical acclaim? Who's even got our guitarist's name?
Who gets a strike when I get a spare? Who gets a ton when I get a pair? Who leads me
standing in musical chairs? Who's even got better facial hair? Who's better at slam dance?
Better at slam dunk? Better at mousetrap? Twisted kerblunk? Better at PlayStation? Better at Wii?
Better at poo, probably. Better at airplay? Better at charts? Better at tennis? Better at
darts? Better at bingo? Better at jet? Who even beat me on the airplane test? That's Henry fucking
wagons! Henry fucking wagons! Wagon fucking, Henry fucking, fuck fuck fucking, Henry fucking,
fucking fucking, fucking wagons! Whoa, Henry fucking wagons! Whoa, Henry fucking wagons!
I shouldn't take him off a cliff, gun on chest! Henry fucking wagons! Say okay wagons, you're
always the best! Henry fucking wagons! Jump off before me, there's your test! Henry fucking wagons!
But as if I do that, you know, that'll be like, obsessed.
Where the DC3? Come and see us at the corner. Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the DC3!
I would of course tell you all about their album launch, but they did that already. Way to put an
MC out of a job, guys. Thanks very much. Thanks, heaps!
