Happy Father's Day. This is a day, kind of, we reflect. I was thinking of my dad and Donna's dad and just how blessed we both were to have wonderful fathers.
Also, just thinking back, it was seven years ago, today on Father's Day, that I preached my first sermon here at Argyle.
And it seemed like just the other day. Yeah, just the other day, but a million years ago.
But anyhow, God's been faithful. And then, I'm so thankful to have my family here.
Melissa and Adrian and Magnolia and Georgia and Michelle and Rich and Mindy and Liam.
And so they're all here. And what a blessing, yes. So thank you all for being here.
Make the day very special for Donna and myself. So thank you very much.
Today is part three in our series, Guardrails. Some of our life groups are also doing this study during the week in homes.
And so I've made some discussion questions that you can download on our website at argile.church or you can pick up a copy out in the Welcome Center.
If you're not in a life group, you can get more information about that also out in our Welcome Center. So be sure and check that out.
Our mission at the church at Argyle is to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.
That's why we're here. We believe that it's important for all of us to connect with other people.
And we think that the best place to do that is in a life group.
We believe that it's important for all of us to use our time and our talents to serve our community.
We believe that it's important for all of us to be generous givers and that we should invest in the lives of others
and invite them to get involved in a good church just like Argyle. That's what we're all about here.
Guardrails. You know, we usually don't think about guardrails. We don't notice them until we need one.
A guardrail is a system that's designed to protect us, to keep us from drifting in to danger zones.
That's what a guardrail does.
A guardrail is designed to keep the damage from not being as bad as it could have been if we would have hit what's on the other side of the guardrail.
I had just turned 16 and my first car, like many people back in my era, was a VW Beetle.
And I'd just gotten home from basketball practice one night and I remember my mom asked me if I could go to the store and pick up some milk.
And of course, when you first started driving, you were always happy to go drive somewhere, so I was heading to the store.
And I got this bright idea on the way to the store. Maybe I could stop by this cheerleader's house that I've been wanting to ask out.
And so I did that. So I pulled into her neighborhood and just as I'm pulling into the neighborhood, I thought,
now wait a minute, what in the world am I doing? And I got what we call the cold feet. You ever had the cold feet?
So I thought, let me just turn around and go on to the store. And so it was dark and so in the street,
I thought I could just back up and maneuver and turn around and head out of the neighborhood and go to the store.
And so I put it in reverse and I started to back up.
The next thing I know, I'm sitting upside down in the car.
And I had backed up into a 10-foot ditch and flipped the car over there in the dark.
And this is way before cell phones were even thought of.
So the only thing I could think of was crawl out of the car, go up to her house, knock on the door,
and ask if I could borrow the phone to call home and get Dad to come help me.
And so I did that. And of course in the meantime, I had to think of some excuse to tell her what I'm doing on her street in the first place.
Now, usually we don't pay much attention to guardrails until we need one.
Now that road needed a guardrail.
If there would have been a guardrail, I would have backed my car into that guardrail,
just tapped it with my bumper and I would have stopped.
And it would have kept me from backing in to that ditch.
If there would have been a guardrail, I would not have tore my car all up.
But more importantly, I would not have damaged my reputation with the cheerleader.
If there had been a guardrail.
Now, the interesting fact about guardrails, guardrails are never put in the danger zone.
They're always placed several feet away from the danger zone.
You will always find guardrails in an area that is actually safe for you to drive.
So, what if we were to consider putting up guardrails in our life in areas to protect us from danger zones in our life?
What if we were to put up guardrails in our relationships?
What if we were to put up financial guardrails?
What if we were to put up guardrails for our dating, for our morality, for our ethics?
What if we were to put up some guardrails a safe distance away from danger zones in our life?
So, here's our definition for those type of guardrails that we could put up in our life to protect us.
A personal code of conduct that is connected to my heart.
It's a personal code of conduct because it's just for you. It's something that you decide on.
This isn't the law for everyone. These are things that are specific just for you.
And then it's connected to your heart.
This means that this personal code is something that you are so committed to yourself that it becomes a matter of the heart.
That if you bump up against this guardrail, that it actually bothers you.
So, here's the goal for this series.
That we will develop some personal codes of conduct.
That we will establish some personal guardrails in our life to protect us.
That instead of doing some things that are wrong, that we know will hurt us,
that we take some steps back and put up some guardrails that will keep us out of the danger zones of life.
Because here's the truth.
Your greatest mistake financially?
Your greatest mistake relationally, morally, spiritually?
The greatest mistake that you've made probably could have been avoided if you would have had guardrails in your life.
Now, this is what makes it so tough sometimes. Our culture will not help us with this.
In fact, our culture will lead us right to the edge.
And then when we drive off of the bridge, they will criticize us for it.
So, it has to become a matter of personal responsibility.
Probably, we shouldn't ask if something is a sin or not.
The better question is, since I know that there's some stuff out there that can hurt me and hurt those that I love,
the better question to ask is, where can I put up some guardrails to protect me? A personal code of conduct that is connected to my heart.
I think we all agree that it's possible for us to go too far, that there's some lines that we should not cross financially, morally, in our marriage, in our relationships.
So, the best question for us to ask, what can we do to keep from drifting into a danger zone?
And that's what we call guardrails.
So, there are two scriptures that we've been talking about that we want to remember to help us as we try to establish these guardrails in our life.
Now, these words were written by the wisest man who ever lived, Proverbs chapter 4 and verse 23,
above all else, above all else, guard your heart.
Now, you say, I don't know about this guardrail stuff, but the wisest man who ever lived told us to guard our heart.
Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.
And then, Proverbs chapter 22 and verse 3.
Today, all of us can choose to be in one of two groups.
The wise see danger ahead and avoid it, but fools keep going and get into trouble.
One of the places that you can find guardrails on the road is on medians, because at medians people are moving very close to each other,
but they're going in opposite directions, which is very dangerous.
Today, we're going to talk about our friendships.
In our life, we're going to find that we are moving very close to some people, our friends, our coworkers,
people that we go to school with, people that we hang with.
You're going to find that you're very close to some people that in their lives are moving in a direction that is different from yours.
And when that happens, you will need to have some guardrails in place, or they may take you in that opposite direction with them.
All of us know a story of somebody whose life was messed up by hanging with people who had different values, different morals, a different direction in life.
Now, this problem of being too close to people who are moving in the opposite direction, this problem began for most of us when we were kids.
Many of us grew up in a home where our parents made a big deal about the people that we hung out with, and we couldn't understand it as a kid.
Our parents would say something like, you can't go to his house, or you can't go to her house, you're not spending the night over there, and we never could understand why.
But our parents understood a very, very important principle, that friends have a big influence on our life.
It's true. Our friends can actually determine the direction and the quality of our life, the power of friendship, and it scares parents to death.
Friends influence the direction and the quality of our lives.
Now, here's the thing about friendship. The thing that makes friendship so awesome is the same thing that makes friendship so dangerous.
When I'm with a friend, I drop my guard. The reason that we're attracted to certain people is that because all of us want to be accepted.
We are driven away by rejection, and we are attracted to acceptance.
And when I'm with people who accept me, I drop my guard. When I'm with people who accept me, when you're with people who accept you, that's when you are the most open to influence.
Here's a huge principle. Acceptance leads to influence.
When I'm somewhere where I am completely accepted, I am open to the influence of the people around me.
I shut down around rejection, and I open up around acceptance.
That's what makes friendship so awesome. That's what makes friendship so dangerous.
Now, don't raise your hand, but probably the first cigarette you ever smoked, you were with somebody.
The first illegal drug you ever took, you were with somebody.
The greatest mistakes didn't happen with your enemies.
The greatest mistakes you've made happened with your friends. The most addictive behaviors began with friends.
You got around some people who were moving in the opposite direction, and you got closer and closer and closer, and you were the one who changed directions.
Our friends have a big influence on our life. It can work for you, but it can also work against you.
We're reminded every time we see a baptism video how powerful friendship can be in a positive way.
Somebody shares their story about how they were moving in one direction far from God, and then they met this person.
They met this group of people, and because of the influence of friends, they're here today accepting Christ and wanting to follow Him and be baptized.
Let's listen to one of those beautiful stories.
My name is Regina Williams. I was born and raised in Jacksonville. I graduated from Darno Cookman High School. Go Vikings!
Now I am a rising senior at Emory University. I study psychology and ethics.
So in my spare time, I like to row. I like rugby, just fitness in general. I really like to cook, and I like to bake.
I like Argo because my grandparents, they've been going here for a while. Their names are Jerry and Arlett McCann.
And since I started attending, everyone here has treated me like family. They've really welcomed me. I feel really connected, and I feel like I have a growing community here.
So I grew up, I call it like a cultural Christian. I kind of just went to church on Sunday because it was just something that I did, and it was tradition in my family.
My parents aren't believers, and Christianity just wasn't modeled in my household, even though I did grow up going to church with my grandmothers.
And I always believed that there was a God, but I didn't have a relationship with Him, and I didn't know what it meant to walk with Him and for Him to be at the center of my life.
My freshman year of college, I wasn't really involved in church. I hadn't been going for a couple years.
I still knew there was a God, I believe that, but I had absolutely no relationship with Jesus Christ at all.
And my freshman year roommate, Destiny Smith, she actually found out about something called Bread Coffee House, and she invited me to go.
And there I met Angie Stryker, who's the campus minister over that, and I started getting closer to her and going to small groups and Bible studies and just learning more about what it means to be a Christian.
I also got involved in another campus ministry called RUF.
I got plugged into a local church. I was just really starting to be surrounded more by Christian community.
Also, I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease my freshman year, and I felt really alone.
But through church, bread, and RUF, I learned that I wasn't alone and that God is my Father and He loves me and that I don't have to be alone anymore and that I'm accepted.
And that's really changed me.
I feel like I've accepted Christ and I want to live for Him and glorify Him, and He's at the center of my life.
And I feel like baptism is an outward expression of that, and that's why I want to baptize.
That's awesome. Thank God for Christian friends.
That's what makes friendship so awesome, and because friendship is so powerful, that's why we need guardrails.
Here's a guardrail from the wisest man who ever lived.
Proverbs chapter 13, verse 20.
Spend time with the wise who will become wise, but the friends of fools will suffer.
See, in the scriptures are many, many promises. In the scriptures are also many warnings.
So what's cool about this verse is it has both a promise and a warning.
First, here's the promise. Spend time with the wise, and you will become wise.
Here's what he's promising, that wisdom is contagious, that if you hang out with wise people, you will become a wise person.
A wise person is someone who understands that all of life is related.
That means that what you do today, what you think about today will influence who you will become tomorrow.
What you did yesterday will affect what you experience today, that all of life is related.
The wise person makes decisions not based on just what happens today, but what will happen tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
But the fool lives for today. Wisdom is contagious.
When you're with people who live as if life is related and make decisions as if life is related,
that will impact your world view and how you make decisions and how you view your body
and how you see things morally, your business, your reputation, your family, everything.
That's the promise. But here's the warning.
But the friends of fools will suffer.
The warning is not if you spend time with fools, you will become a fool.
This is where we get messed up with this.
If I spend time with the wise, I will become wise.
And so we assume that if we spend time with fools, we'll become a fool.
But that's not what Solomon is teaching here.
The warning in this verse is that the friends of fools, the person who does life with fools,
will eventually become impacted by the fool.
That means that you may spend your entire life hanging out with foolish people,
but never behave the way that fools behave.
But eventually the mess that will happen from a foolish behavior,
whether you adopt their way of thinking or not, will affect you.
And here's why that's so important.
Because some of us have tried to defend unhealthy relationships this way.
We've said, but I'll never do what they do.
And I'll never think the way that they think, so I'm safe.
But Solomon says you're wrong.
Because the friends of fools, whether you act the way they act,
whether you think the way they think, you will eventually suffer
because of a fool's behavior.
And here's what a fool is.
A fool is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong,
but they don't care.
You say to a fool, don't you know that what you're doing will lead you into trouble?
And they say, yeah, but it's all going to work out.
In fact, the scripture says to not even try to correct a fool
because they'll just laugh at you.
They don't care.
You can't say to a fool, don't you know how this will impact your marriage?
He doesn't care.
They live for today.
They have an excuse for everything.
That's a fool.
So if you hang with people who just don't care,
and if you live as if life is not related,
then as a friend of fools, Solomon says you will suffer.
Now that doesn't sound very loving or compassionate, does it?
Aren't we supposed to have friends who are different from us
so that we can help them?
Yes, and we're all about that.
Our God is a church for people who don't like church,
people who are far from God who are trying to find their way and figure that out.
That's what we're all about as a church,
and we want to help those who don't know God.
But here's the thing.
Never confuse compassion with wisdom.
Compassion will never require you to make an unwise choice about yourself.
And when we use compassion or love as an excuse to make an unwise choice, that's not real compassion.
There's no conflict between compassion and wisdom.
But you say, I love this person.
I care about these people.
I want to help them.
And that's awesome.
But the best thing that you can do for a person you love,
the best thing that you can do for friends that you care about
is for you to stay on the right side of the guardrail
so that when they crash, you will be healthy enough to actually help them.
So let me give you a few suggested guardrails to help protect you and your friendships.
These are just suggestions, but I believe they can be helpful.
Number one, when the people you hang with are moving in a different direction than you are,
when your main group of friends have different goals, different priorities, different attitudes,
different reasons for life than you have, that's a guardrail,
you will try to excuse it by saying, I'll never be like them.
But Solomon says that you will suffer.
That's why life groups are so important.
That's why impact and crave is so important
so that you can hang with people who have the same priorities and attitudes and goals.
Number two, when you cannot be yourself,
when you find yourself trying to be someone else so that you can fit in,
so that you can be accepted by a group of friends, that's a guardrail.
Number three, when you find yourself being tempted to do something that you've always believed is wrong,
when you're with a group of friends that is trying to enlighten you,
trying to get you to loosen up and try to do something that you've always believed to be wrong,
that's a guardrail.
When we were kids, it was easy to identify your best friend.
Sometimes you might even have a bestest best friend.
And as we get older, we learn to interact with a wider variety of people,
but we always still need those special close friends.
A wise person told me once that when it's all said and done,
that I would probably be able to account my close friends on one hand.
I hope that's not true.
Most of the time, we are not able to choose our family.
We are not able to choose our co-workers.
We're not able to choose who we go to school with.
We're not able to choose everyone that we worship with, but we are able to choose our friends.
For good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forevermore.
That's what friends are for.
Thank God for good friends.
Above all else, guard your heart.
For everything you do flows from it.
The wise see danger ahead and avoid it.
But fools keep going and get in the trouble.
Spend time with the wise and you will become wise,
but the friends of fools will suffer.
Today, would we make a wise choice about friendship
and choose to protect ourselves
and choose to protect those that we love by establishing guardrails?
A personal code of conduct that is connected to my heart.
Let's pray.
God for friendship, we thank you.
You all know this song, Chinese.
I wish to never go away.
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today.
And then if you can remember.
Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me.
For sure, that's what friends are for.
For good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forevermore.
That's what friends are for.
Well, you came in loving me and now there's so much more I see.
And so by the way, I thank you for the times we went apart.
Well, then close your eyes and know the words will come from my heart.
And then if you can remember.
Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me.
For sure, that's what friends are for.
For good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forevermore.
That's what friends are for.
Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me.
For sure, that's what friends are for.
For good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forevermore.
That's what friends are for.
Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me.
For sure, that's what friends are for.
For good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forevermore.
Forevermore.
That's what friends are for.
That's what our girl is for.
For me, for sure.
For sure, that's what friends are for.
Forevermore.
