All right
Okay
Hello
Hi, my name is Adam. Okay. Hello
All right
Yes, it's good. Yeah, okay
Do I look in the camera or
Okay
Hi, my name is Adam and I'm here to tell you about the time that I lost my manhood
Hello, my name is Adam and I mean, I know what I want to say. I just I just don't know how to say it
Okay, what would you say?
Hello, my name is Adam and I'm here to tell you about the time that I lost my manhood.
Hello, my name is Adam, and I'm here to tell you about the time that I met, what am I supposed
to say?
Hello, my name is Adam, and I'm here to tell you about the time that I met, what am I supposed
to say?
Hello, my name is Adam, and I'm here to tell you about the time that I met, and lost her.
Okay, so how did you guys meet?
Hello, my name is Adam, and I'm here to tell you about the time that I met, and lost her.
Okay, so she starts, you know, she starts talking to me, wants to know what I'm doing
out there, because it was cold day, you know, cold foggy day, and I, you know, I explained,
you know, I work at the aquarium, and she kind of made fun of that, she's like, oh,
what do you feed fish, and that's exactly what I do, so I was a little embarrassed,
but I think, I think she kind of liked that, I mean, we were talking, and I asked her what
she was doing, and she said, because I made fun of her red floppy hat, and she said, I
was nervous, I don't, cute girl walks, it doesn't happen every day, and so yeah, no,
I was, I was, I wasn't scared, but she was very abrasive, I was a little scared, no,
but she, yeah, I made fun of her hat, because it was a weird hat, and she's like, oh, I
knit these hats for a living, I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, but she was just kidding,
she works at this bookstore in Lincoln Park, and so, apparently she just moved here from
Kansas, I was like, you know, that's crazy, where's Toto, I don't know, I was making these
horrible jokes, and just making a fool, losing my manhood, making a fool of myself, but I
think she thought I was funny, maybe, so we, you know, we get to talking, and she says
this is one of her favorite spots, and I don't know, we were talking, it was nice, and then
all of a sudden, most embarrassing thing, I have a separate ringtone for like my bosses
when they call me, and so it started going off, and it's this dolphin yell, and like,
it's coming from my pocket, and she's kind of laughing at me, but I had to take it, and
so my break was over, and I, you know, just said goodbye, and I started walking, walking
back, and I get around the corner, and it sounds like I get to the door, I'm like, you
know what, I sure got her name at least, not even like, ask her for her number or anything,
just, I wanted to know her name, you know, put a name to that face, and so I turn around
like half, jogged back, and she was gone, and I don't know, so I was kind of scared,
that I would never see her again.
Okay, so I have one question though, so like, if you knew she worked at a bookstore, like
at Lincoln Park, why didn't you just like, look up, you know, like, bookstores in Lincoln
Park and try to find her?
Well, I'm a little lazy, and no, she was, she was talking about the spot, I was like,
I asked her why she was out there, and she said that was one of her favorite views of
the city, which it is, it's a great place to be, and she also said that she comes to
the aquarium on the free days, and I was like, oh, this is perfect, so when the next free
day came around, I put a letter in her favorite, where her favorite spot is, hoping that she
would see it, and come and visit me.
Here's the letter, okay.
Some people say that when you meet that certain someone, you just know.
It doesn't matter where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing, because your
body just tells you that this one person is the one for you, and it's usually your job
to turn those feelings into reality.
Sadly, this was not the case for me and you, and for that, I apologize, girl, with the
red floppy hat.
Ever since we had that little conversation, I haven't been able to stop beating myself
up for not getting your name or number.
Although I didn't appear it, I was completely in awe of you.
The guts you had to just go up to me and start talking is something I wish I, okay, the guts
you have to just go up to me and start talking is something I only wish I possessed.
You are one of the few people who actually have taken the time to notice me, and I can't
even begin to tell you how refreshing that is.
So girl, with the red floppy hat, please give this scuba diving idiot a second chance and
come to the main tank this Monday or Tuesday morning.
I'll be the one stuck in the tank surrounded by oversized fish, a crippled turtle, and
a few small, yet very terrifying sharks.
I promise, though, this time I will first get your name, and then secondly, take you
out for lunch and strike up a real conversation.
Please think about it.
Yours truly, Adam, the fish-feeding failure.
So do you know if she, like, got your letter?
No.
No.
No.
No.
