This is Temecula, a go-to California destination that has something for everyone.
Located just 90 miles southeast of Los Angeles and 60 miles north of San Diego, the Temecula
Valley is uniquely noted for its strip malls, plazas, retail outlets and auto parks, where
buyers with approved credit can obtain financing on all types of late model vehicles deep in
the heart of the valley, you'll find Temecula's wine country amidst rows of sun-parched vineyards
that somehow manage to grow in a god-forsaken desert.
You'll discover many of our award-winning wineries that will cater to the most discerning
palate.
But if rest and relaxation is the order of the day, why not try one of our many spas
and wellness resorts?
Re-energize your body, mind and soul with a blend of innovative treatments, including
a state-of-the-art fitness center, a private massage room and an El Fresco Whirlpool.
Did you hear that, Robin?
What?
They have an El Fresco Whirlpool.
How wonderful!
Are you okay?
What are you doing in there?
What do you think I'm doing in here?
You were in there for half an hour.
I'm aware of that, Janet, thank you.
You know what?
I just remembered.
I forgot to print out the discount tickets to the spa.
Well, it's no problem, we'll just ask the lady at the front desk for help.
Before we head down to Escondido tomorrow.
What was that?
Nothing.
No, that was not nothing, that was gas-pain.
I'm fine.
It's just something I ate at dinner doesn't seem to be agreeing with me.
You're furrowing your brow.
I'm not furrowing my brow.
It's a total furrow.
You look like Gregory Peck right now.
What did I tell you, Robin?
I said to stay away from the shellfish at that dumb restaurant.
Look at me.
I'm going to be fine, okay?
Hey, do we have any of that almond champagne left?
There's another bottle in the right hand bag by the Corn Snacks.
You're going to be parked on the toilet all weekend, are you?
I don't see it in here.
There's nothing.
Is that because you're the Corn Snacks?
You're not answering my question.
You and I have been waiting for this trip all year.
And as God is my witness, I am not going to let a little bit of hysteria derail our plans.
Then promise me that if it gets worse, you'll at least tell me.
I promise.
Full disclosure.
Because you can't get a massage if your body's spouting water from both ends.
I'll tell the masseuse to be gentle, okay?
Now can we please have some almond champagne and forget about this whole thing?
What did you look in the right bag?
I did.
I couldn't find it.
Well, then it can't be the right bag.
Get in my stomach.
Be gentle.
Do you understand what gentle means?
No.
Because you don't listen.
You do not blame this on me.
You had to crawl over me.
You couldn't have gotten out of bed and walked there.
What are you, a three-year-old?
Look at these sheets.
It's like the runoff from a slim gym factory.
I'm sorry.
You were right.
I shouldn't have eaten the shellfish.
From a seafood buffet that was missing its sneeze guard.
I'm sure you're going to tell Chad all about this.
He's going to blab to everybody at the pub.
As if those people need the line item on your bowels.
What are you doing?
I'm taking you to the hospital.
God damn it, no hospital.
We're here to have fun.
Tomorrow we're going into Old Town and getting a cheese platter.
No.
Then we're going to drive through the country with a top down.
I have two for one tickets at the Douglas Creek Winery.
Put your jacket on.
I'm never going to get hammered off Sinfandel and act like sailors on shore leave.
I'm going to count to five.
You know, you're a real big disappointment to me right now.
The Janna I know would never get in the way of a good time.
You know what would get in the way of a good time?
Your death from stupidity.
All right.
If it'll make you feel better, I'll have some ginger ale, take a shot of Pepto.
You want to go to that spa tomorrow, we're going to that spa.
What happens if we get up tomorrow and you're even worse?
I'm pretty sure the worst of it is behind me.
Literally, don't be gross, but seriously, how can I feel any lower than this?
Yeah.
Bye bye.
How are you doing?
No good.
Maybe we should just go back to the hotel.
No!
Hi.
We're ready for the Office Go Whirlpool.
Look, I'm sorry, but I won't be letting you in here today.
Why?
Because your partner clearly has some sort of ailment.
Aalmond, what are you talking about?
Ma'am, the lobby smells like a sewer.
Ugh!
Ugh!
If you could just take a look at the sign right there,
the spa has a strict policy that says we cannot allow anyone with active D in the spa.
It's a serious health code thing.
Well, that's stupid.
Can't we just dip our feet in the alfresco?
Ma'am, what part of the sign did you not understand?
Fine.
You know what?
We don't need your spa's 50-minute botanical facials or relaxing serenity pools.
Okay.
Bye-bye now.
Oh, and FYI, the next time your partner has advanced stage Ebola,
you might want to consider taking her to a doctor instead of a masseuse.
Okay, well maybe next time you'll wear shoes that don't make you look like a Bangkok prostitute.
Well, at least I don't have a foot face.
What does that even mean?
It means your face smells like a foo-
Oh, bitch.
You are going to lose some teeth.
Bring it!
Okay, I remember faces.
Don't think I'm not going to remember your face.
Bye!
See you never!
Foot face.
How can a face smell like feet?
That's it.
We're going to the hospital.
No!
We are going to the hospital.
Goddamn stupid shellfish.
Let's save some cash, I said.
Here's an idea.
Why not try the ghetto ass broke down seafood buffet?
And that is just a small sample of the culinary delights that await you.
From a warm picnic to a main course overlooking one of the vineyards to the family style buffets.
Here in Temecula, fine dining and an array of cuisine will fit any taste or budget.
So whether you're relocating, planning a vacation or special event,
we hope you include plenty of fun activities to your agenda.
Come visit the Temecula Valley.
We are ready to make your experience a special one.
Temecula Valley
