I
Be careful
How do you I'm all right, but you be careful. Yeah. No, I'm always very careful. Yes
I was only saying to Mrs. Gibson the other day.
Don't mind Mrs. Gibson.
Be careful when you're throwing that garden rubbish you hit me with.
Did I?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was afraid I should be doing something in a minute or two,
because I'm in a frightful hurry, you know,
because I've got to get this finished before Mrs. Gibson goes away.
Well, your garden looks nice, doesn't it?
Oh, dear.
Oh, very historical.
Get down this coming on nicely, too,
because I've only got to make a shelter and some crazy paths after I've finished this,
and the whole thing will look pretty good, I think, don't you?
Well, you know, Claude, I think you need a few lessons in gardening, if I may say so.
Do I?
Well, in fact, I haven't thought of that,
because the trouble is I don't know any really good gardening expert.
Well, that may be.
But you know, you'd be surprised what you could get out of your garden
if you set about it properly.
Oh, I'm doing that already.
Yes, I've got all sorts of the...
There's an old leather kettle I've got.
And this morning I dug up an old horse.
Dug up what? A horse?
Yeah.
A clothes horse.
Oh, it's a good one.
It's brown here, sir.
Yes.
There's the...
It's a very good thing.
Now, that is a whole lot of clothes.
The thing of that is, look at the extent of it.
Oh, my goodness, you've got to be careful with these things, don't you?
Yes, the whole, uh...
But it's a very, very good thing. I think you'll get it.
Oh, dear, dear, could you do something about this?
It's just...
It's a great...
It's really dangerous to know if you don't get something.
Yes, I think we better take the whole thing away.
That's better.
Of course.
I should probably take up a lot more things before I finish.
Yes, I expect you will.
And when you've dug them up, what are you going to do with them?
They all pay him again somewhere.
I was just wondering,
have you got any room in your garden?
No, I haven't.
No, no, I...
Well, isn't it?
Is it really?
Look, mixed up with your clothes also.
Oh, yes.
Yes, that's true.
Why don't you try to grow some nice vegetables in this garden?
You've got plenty of vacant space there.
Yes, we have.
I was saying to Mrs Gibson,
now, look here, Todd, you come over and have a look at my garden.
Yes, I'm delighted rather.
Look here, I've just been gathering nice fresh Brussels sprouts.
Oh, yes.
I've got leeks for the winter,
cabbages coming on to the spring,
beetroots, parsnips, onions.
There's always something good coming along.
If I were you, I should dig up all those stones and bricks
and make a path with them or dug out or something.
And then, why don't you rake together all that rubbish
and dead leaves and stuff and put them all on your compost heap?
Yes.
I was?
Compost heap.
You don't know what a compost heap is?
This is a compost heap.
Oh, I see.
See, Claude, in these days of motorcars,
we can't get that good old-fashioned country manure.
Oh, my word.
Quite so.
And what we do is to get together all the rubbish
and dead leaves into a heap and collect them bit by bit
and let them all rot down into a nice juicy mass of manure
for the beds.
For my beds?
Yes.
But is that necessary?
I mean, I always use hot water bottles.
I mean, your garden beds, I'm talking about.
Yes.
Oh.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was thinking of something else.
Claude.
You know, that's finished there, isn't it?
You know, talking about this compost heap,
there's all sorts of things you could put on that heap.
Yes, I suppose.
Beanshells and tea leaves, orange peel, any waste stuff.
It all makes good fertiliser for your garden.
Really, really.
I always thought rubbish was a lot of rubbish.
But it is very useful, isn't it, sometimes?
It's good.
I see.
This would do well to the compost heap.
Oh, my goodness.
Have you got a handkerchief?
No, I haven't.
Well, I haven't yet.
Do you know that Brussels sprouts and green vegetables
are jolly good for you.
They keep you fit, good as a dose of medicine for you.
Do you know that?
No.
Well, I haven't lived in these parts for very long, you know.
When I had a fat in Brixton,
and the people on the third floor,
do you know anything about carbohydrates?
No, I'm afraid I don't.
I expect I've seen her hundreds of times.
Mrs. Gibson and I are very fond of going to the pictures now.
We always go early because we can, you know,
get in and put ourselves in the right places.
Just what I thought.
You know nothing about it.
Carbohydrates are the things which keep you fit and well.
I know they're things you get from greens
and other vegetables.
How crazy is that?
They make you grow strong and handsome.
You ought to take them with every meal.
Sure.
What?
And of course, you know all about the proteins, don't you?
The proteins?
No.
No, I believe anything you tell me about the people around here.
Are they newly married?
You're hopeless. Proteins are not people.
Other things that make your bones grow strong.
Oh, I thought...
Good gracious, that bone I had just now must have eaten a lot of them, hasn't it?
No, the things you get from peas and beans and other vegetables.
Peas as well.
Do you really think I can get all those things out of the garden for Mrs. Gibson?
Of course you could.
Quite easily.
Why bless me, that garden's full of nourishment.
Most of the teens are empty, though.
Teens, I'm not talking about teens.
I'm talking about the garden soil.
Oh, I see what you mean.
The vegetables you could grow in it.
You know the vegetables are full of vitamins and good things.
Good gracious, that's your way of coming out of the ground.
I should never have known if you hadn't told me, should I?
Another thing you want is to start off by making a nice cropping plan.
Oh yes, we ought to have a plan, so I agree.
Well, I tell you what, come round into my garden and I'll show you what I mean.
That's a great idea, sir.
What we want to do is to plan out the garden so that the vegetables don't all get mixed up together.
Get the early crops together and the lake ones together.
You see, start with the early ones.
Turnips, carrots, lettuce, beetroot, peas, peas.
Excuse me, just a minute.
Don't you think it's better if I made a list or something?
Would you like?
Yes, I would.
Well, it depends on you then.
Yes, because I don't want to mess this up.
A piece of paper?
Well, it might be a bit in my coat pocket.
Oh, he said.
Certainly.
I may as well put it on.
Oh, it doesn't matter, no, he has a board.
Oh, that's just the very thing.
Oh, that's grand.
Now, I don't want to make any mistakes about this.
Now, what was it?
Carrots?
Carrots.
Turnips?
Turnips.
Oh, a lot of other things.
A lot of other things.
Yes.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, wait a minute, we need to modern that.
Oh, wait a minute, for a second.
Now, where was I?
Yes, lettuces.
Lettuces, eh?
Lettuces.
Yes, radishes.
Oh, I like those.
Beans?
Beans, yes.
Well, now, let's see how far I can go.
Well, now, let me see.
Where did I start?
I can't see the...
Here we are.
Carrots.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Turnips.
Yes.
Oh, I knew what we'd forgotten.
That heap.
Oh, yes, compost.
Yes.
Oh, I was putting that down.
Remember, that must be a smelly business to make, I think.
Oh, I don't know.
Yes, talking of smells.
Have you noticed?
It's not a very nice smell here, is it?
It's just a nice country smell.
I don't know.
I've noticed it a long time ago.
It's a terrible smell of broken glass, it seems like.
Do you ever wonder what...
Oh, good gracious, I've been sitting on the heap.
No wonder.
Oh, good gracious me, I must be in a mess.
Wait a minute.
Have you got a handkerchief?
No, I haven't.
Well, it's all right.
It's nothing.
I thought I felt a bit damp in there.
Oh, I suppose it'll dry out.
Yes.
Well, now, how long will it take me before I get all this fixed up?
Well, if you put your back into it,
you'll get it all nice and ship-shaped within three weeks.
Three weeks?
Oh, my word, that's splendid.
Yes.
Ah, very glad to hear that.
All right, better?
I hope so.
Yes.
What do you think of it?
I think you've made a marvellous job of work, have you?
You know what I told you once?
The hundreds of men have turned bacon bits of land into nice gardens, don't you?
Hundreds?
I did this all by myself.
Well, it does you credit.
Yes, oh, Mrs. Gibson's awfully pleased about it, you know.
Yes, I'm sure she would be.
Looks very, very nice indeed.
Oh, I'm glad you like it.
But I say, what's that heap of junk there?
This?
Oh, that's my compost heap.
Don't you remember?
If we agreed on that, that's very important to know.
Yes, very.
But what's it doing there?
Oh, rotting.
Rotting?
Yes.
Take it some time to rot down in the manure there, won't it?
Oh.
You think so?
What?
I shouldn't lie, it seems to me.
It's always rotting already.
There's no doubt about that.
But what's it doing there?
Well, I just got the idea to make a sort of nice centerpiece.
But it spoils the whole of your beautiful work.
You can't leave it there.
Nothing can come up with that stuck in the middle of your garden.
Well, as a matter of fact, nothing has come up yet.
Oh, never mind.
There's plenty of time for that.
It'll come up all right.
Well, I'm glad that is getting a bit scared.
Now, tell you what.
Come round and have a look at my greenhouse
and see my vegetables.
Oh, I'd love to.
Well, can I come like this?
I've got the trousers to this,
but I can't get my boots off.
I told you.
Oh, never mind your boots and your trousers.
Well, you don't mind.
I'd love to.
Yeah.
Can I come in?
Of course.
That's what I want you to do.
Thanks.
Very well.
Oh, my word, yes.
My boots.
Wonderful.
You know, Mrs. Gibson is like one of these.
It's just the thing for her.
Chickens.
Chickens.
Faces.
And it's so well-made, too, isn't it?
It looks a very good wood.
It looks like mahogany.
You don't mind a wood.
Come and look at my plants.
What do you think of that for a nice healthy look?
Oh, they're good, aren't they?
Yes, yes.
Very good.
I suppose that will turn into rhubarb soon or later.
Rhubarb?
Yes.
That's why my spring seedlings were sowing in the spring out of doors.
Oh, I beg your pardon.
I see.
Yes.
I've got a lot of nice things along here already.
I've got you.
Have you?
Yes.
Here's something you'd never guess the name on.
Oh, I know that.
Yes.
Mustard and cress.
I thought you knew.
I know, though.
Try and remember the name.
Echibira.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
I ought to have known that.
That's what Mrs. Gibson used to call her cow, you know.
Have a look at this.
Here's a funny look at this.
Here, here, here.
Why don't you get it in your neck in a minute?
Oh, this?
Oh, that's nice.
It's a story, isn't it?
Oh, gracious me.
It's a show, isn't it?
Come over here.
Have a look at this.
Yes.
I see this one.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, I am so sorry.
Well, you have put your foot in it.
Yes.
I certainly have.
Good gracious me.
Well, that'll never come off.
Well, if you could hand it to him.
No, I haven't.
Oh, I must get that off.
It's an awful mess.
Spoiled boot spoils, isn't it?
Never mind.
Look at the insects off you.
Forget it.
Yes.
Come and have a look at my vegetables.
What?
I've got peas, beans, carrots, necklaces here.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Huh?
Yes, yes.
Oh, it was only the seeds.
Yes.
Oh.
Well, I'll give it to Frampton.
Yes, in due course, but I don't trust him
in a little bit of march, you know.
Oh, march.
Oh, congratulations.
I've trusted mine already.
Oh, but you're in too big a hurry.
Well, you can't do it.
What?
Forgotten?
All the things that you've told me to get.
Well, what are the packets?
What packets?
Well, what are the packets you don't receive at all?
Oh, I shouldn't take them out of the packets.
Congratulations.
Okay, sir.
I lost it in there.
Oh, that's no good guarding like that.
Look here, you must work properly.
Now, look here, I've got a plan here for you.
Oh.
Now, this plan shows you just when to plant things
out far apart and all the other information you want.
I see.
If you'll take that and follow it carefully,
you'll get more out of your garden and you'll always
have fresh vegetables for your dinner.
That's funny.
I was going to have vegetable soup not snipe for dinner.
Only Mrs. Gibson was out and I couldn't find
the frying pan, so I bought some chocolate.
Frying pan, my dear boys, no use growing nice vegetables
if you don't know how to cook them.
Oh, Mrs. Gibson's the cook.
Good relationship.
Marvelous added.
Yes, her speciality.
Speciality is bean soup, you know.
Yes, I should think it would be.
Very nourishing, too.
But you know, Claude, before you can make bean soup,
you've got to get the bean.
And what I'm trying to impress on you is that it's not at all
difficult to grow good beans and other vegetables.
And just think, if everybody who had a garden
grew enough to feed themselves,
look what a tremendous difference it would make.
Thousands of tons of good food.
And fine exercise for you, too.
There's nothing like gardening, you know,
to keep you fit and keep you out of mischief, too.
Why, bless me, I shouldn't be surprised
at the way you started if, before you're much older,
you take on an allotment as well.
No, Nile.
They should die.
No, knowing what I shall do before I finish, you know.
My word.
Well, I've been wondering,
what do you keep in these boxes up here?
That's where I sow my seeds.
Seeds?
Yes.
Good gracious.
Can I have a look?
Yes, do.
Oh, well, I...
Yes, yes.
Interesting.
Those seeds...
Oh, no, that's not seeds.
That's a box of soot.
These are the seeds.
Oh, Claude, I'm so sorry.
You hurt yourself.
No, no, it's quite all right.
There's something seem to come over all black for a moment here.
Lucky the box isn't broken, isn't it?
It might have been a nasty accident.
My word.
That's right.
I shall look and you take my tickets, you fool.
Oh, thanks very much.
Yes, that's just the thing, isn't it?
Yes, that'll get it off all right.
My word.
Yes, that's it.
Claude, you're hopeless.
Now what are you going to do?
Yes, that's right.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
