I'm going to be talking about my experience on Prozac,
which I was prescribed following the sudden death of my fiancée just under a month before we're due to get married.
Prior to my fiancée's death, I had never suffered with depression, anxiety or any form of emotional distress.
Tony's death could not have been predicted, it came completely out of the blue, he's not been ill.
I've worked very hard to achieve two degrees and I was enjoying a very successful career working in media and entertainment.
I would say I was on autopilot for the first ten months after Tony died and I carried on as normal.
I was pretty unaffected in a way, when I say unaffected it was like I was completely numb, I wasn't really dealing with my loss.
I went into work and this went on for about ten months until I just broke down one day after having a really, really bad day at work.
I got home at about 5.30 in the evening and just burst out crying and I was still crying at 20 past 10 the following morning at the GP surgery.
I have absolutely no recollection of getting to the GP surgery, everything from then on was just blind.
The GP prescribed an antidepressant, that didn't help so he put me on another one and that didn't help either.
I was prescribed numerous antidepressants before I eventually ended up on Prozac.
Within a month of going on Prozac, I experienced my first seizure.
I had no history of epilepsy and the drug information, the prescribing information that the drug manufacturers give to doctors,
actually clearly states under precautions treatment with Prozac should be discontinued in any patient with developed seizures.
But despite this, I was left on the drug for three years and two months, by which time I was having between 20 and 30 seizures a day.
Some of which were ground melt and some were petty melt, I have both times.
After about six weeks of going on Prozac, I was on what I can only describe as an unnatural high.
One day I went to see my doctor and he asked me how I was doing.
I actually replied in all seriousness, I think the whole world should be on Prozac
and the laws should be changed that everybody should have to eat Prozac for breakfast.
He actually turned round, not picking up on the fact that this wasn't the sort of a reasonable accident.
He turned round and he said to me, oh God, I'm really glad we found something that's helped.
I looked back and I can see I was experiencing mania, which is a common side effect to Prozac and the other SSRI antidepressants.
After six weeks of being on Prozac, I started to feel extremely suicidal
and I made the first of numerous attempts to end my life.
I felt this inner restlessness, that this inner agitation, no matter what I did, I could not calm down, I couldn't settle and I'd be pacing around.
Looking back, I actually believe having done quite a lot of research to try and make sense of things, I actually believe I was experiencing acubizia
and this often follows mania, it's not uncommon for it to follow a period of mania
and unfortunately it wasn't picked up on and I was labelled an attention seeker.
Shortly after starting Prozac, I was diagnosed as having a duodenal ulcer.
I actually believe that my symptoms were caused by the gastrointestinal side effects that the drug can cause
because we stopped within about four weeks of me stopping the drug, the symptoms just disappeared.
I also developed insomnia while I was on Prozac, for which I was given sleeping pills
and I also started having numerous dental problems shortly after starting on the drug.
Prior to taking Prozac, I'd always had really, really good teeth.
I used to go for regular check-ups and within six months of going on the Prozac, I had numerous fillings
and I was having to have major dental work done.
Now, prior to going on the Prozac, I've never even had a feeling.
I personally believe that this was as a result of the drug's ability to cause a dry mouth effect
and my dentist has actually since said that, you know, nowadays
it would have probably picked up on it more quickly and sort of taken me off the drug sooner.
I kept voicing concerns about the drug and the effects I felt it was having on me,
but these were constantly dismissed. I was told that Prozac would not make me suicidal.
I was told that Prozac would not cause seizures.
And deep down, I felt that there was something not right. I didn't recognise the person I was becoming since I'd gone on this drug.
And from the sake of my own sanity, I started researching the drug to try and find out what was happening to me.
I was absolutely horrified with what I found and I decided to take myself off the drugs without medical advice
because I got to the point where I didn't feel that anyone was listening to me anymore.
At the point in which I took myself off Prozac, I was being prescribed 32 tablets a day,
all of which were the symptoms that I can now link to the Prozac.
I experienced horrendous withdrawal and this in itself was very, very isolating
because at the time the drugs were being promoted as being safe and non-havid for me.
The withdrawal syndrome associated with antidepressants was not recognised at that time
and I had been told that they were safe and non-addictive.
Whilst I was carrying out my research and trying to make sense of the side effects that I felt I'd been experiencing,
I found that the American physician's desk reference was the most useful source of information for learning about adverse effects to prescribed medications
as it listed numerous side effects and adverse effects that were not being recognised in this country but were widely recognised in America.
I also found that the ABPI on the Martindale's Pharmacokia contained much more comprehensive information
than that of the BNF, which is what the book was used by most medical professionals.
I am very lucky because I had a research background, so I had an idea of where to start looking for information
but the average member of the public would probably have not had a clue of where to start looking.
If anything positive can come out of my experience, it's the fact that I have been able to share it with people like yourselves
in the hope that we can learn from my experience and hopefully do what we can do to stop it happening to others.
I would like to thank you for listening and I'm going to pass you back to Milly. Thank you.
