From its first reference in recorded history, yoga has been practiced almost exclusively
by men.
The Vedas, Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, the songs, poems, and sacred scriptures that
make up the philosophy and practice of yoga were written by men.
However, by the mid-1980s, women became a dominant presence in yoga studios across
the country, to the point where they now make up an astounding 95% of the yoga population.
The question then becomes, what happened to all the men?
Eugene Stones is a 41-year-old computer technician and a father of two.
In 2007, following a painful divorce from his wife, Eugene turned to yoga as a way to
redefine himself and perhaps shine an inner light on what he described as a dark period
of his life.
Everyone was doing it.
I liked it.
I thought I'd give it a try.
You know, I started with the poses, warrior one, warrior two.
They were difficult, you know, but not too challenging.
I didn't think they were dangerous.
I never thought I would end up here.
At the happy home for happy humans.
When the paramedics arrived and assessed you, you heard them refer to a 926.
Is that correct?
Yes, the 926.
And what is a 926?
It's what they don't ever talk about.
It's what they never tell you about.
You know, you go into these yoga studios, all the women are there.
They'll take your money.
They'll let you in the class.
They never tell you about the 926.
And then when they're taking you out on a gurney in excruciating pain, you know, they'll turn
a blind eye.
Oh, why?
We take care of you.
It's okay.
Huh?
Okay.
They take such good care of me here, Katasana, Bopos, Sukta Kermasana, I mean, these poses,
they have all these fun little names, but they don't tell you, they don't prepare you.
They don't prepare you for the life altering pain and embarrassment you're about to endure.
I mean, these women, they let us mend into their classes, but they don't talk about it.
They don't prepare you.
I mean, I ask, where's my junk supposed to go?
Eugene is not the only man to experience a 926.
Others have as well.
Happened to me three years ago.
Totally unprepared, just trying to please my girl after she caught me pleasing another
girl.
Come the yoga, honey.
It'll bring us closer together.
Nearly killed me.
The 926.
The 926.
Painful self.
Never again.
Not with this thing.
Not with this thing.
It's probably the strongest part of my body.
The poses don't pose a threat to you.
No, but to tell you the truth, I couldn't get into those poses if I tried.
My balls have a six-pack.
Then why do you go?
Right.
But it's for another reason, to let these women know that their conspiracy is not going
down without a fight.
Conspiracy?
Hell yeah.
These women just want the studios for themselves.
A sexual battle for ultimate supremacy.
To get our own understanding of this conspiracy theory, we brought our cameras to a yoga studio
in Connecticut to see what would happen.
Would they warn us about a possible 926?
Hi, you're here for level one?
Level one is introductory yoga, then yes.
I've seen a little bit of information from you.
Okay, but before we begin, just want to make sure that there's any way that I can be heard
during this trial.
No.
Okay, what's whoever that I can possibly be heard in any way?
Wonderful.
That's what your yoga is.
Great.
Inhale, raise your fingertips to the skies.
Please bring your feet together to touch.
Bend your knees.
Do you remember the part where I said bend your knees?
Nice.
Inhale, raise your fingertips to the sky.
No, knees together.
Heart up.
Feet together.
Yo, you have to support the pose on your own.
Lift your heart up.
Exhale fold.
I was not the first man to experience a 926 and I fear that I will not be the last.
But a woman really trying to take over yoga, is there really a conspiracy?
We spoke with Anita Mann, a yoga instructor at the Alpha Beta Institute in Reinebeck,
New York, to get her perspective.
That's a crack of shit.
It's yoga.
You show up, do the poses, and leave.
What a bunch of babies.
Is it women's fault that when we go into chair, there's nothing there to hurt us?
Men created the poses.
Don't they remember that?
Maybe it was preemptive karmic payback for high heels and corsets.
Would it make men feel better to know that when we go into Mayura Rasana, our boobs get
squished?
Mayura Rasana looks pretty good.
Ew.
Ms. Anita Mann may have a point that a 926 isn't the product of some conspiracy, but
rather from the lost understanding of the poses themselves.
Is there a solution to a 926?
There has to be a way.
I mean, men came up with these poses, right?
They didn't cut off their balls to do them, did they?
I did.
No.
No way.
Listen, this isn't marriage.
It's yoga.
I mean, I just want to be able to touch my toes without squeezing the life out of my
boys.
It's not fair.
I mean, there's got to be a better way out there.
Something nobody's talking about.
A secret.
It turns out there is, but it's not a secret.
It's an adjustment.
Mitri Guru Manjigli's Nutsak, a disciple of the highly esteemed Swami Vishnu had a set
of these mantansals, graduate of the Himalayan Institute of Transcendental Shifting, and
author of his autobiography, Are You There, Brahma?
It's Me, Paramahansa Manjigli's Nutsak.
No one knows how old he is or where exactly he comes from, but he and his teachings have
helped thousands all over the world practice the ancient art of yoga without a single 926.
You've heard of a 926.
926?
I have not heard of this.
Some refer to it as crushed balls.
Ah, yes.
Gote dabke.
I hear their suffering.
You do.
Of course, men throughout millennia screaming in agony from incorrectly positioning their
hanging love spuds.
It is hard not to hear them, but let me tell you, it is a tiny problem.
A tiny problem?
Yes, yes.
Very tiny, teensy tiny, so tiny it could fit in a teensy tiny titty-bitty little thing.
But you're aware that this little problem is causing huge medical issues with many
men around the world.
Of course, it is because the ego inside these crotum is too overwhelming, too large for
the human body to contain.
It must be let go if one is to practice yoga.
And you know how to do this.
Of course, Sri Guru has mastered this.
It has taken Sri Guru many lifetimes to perfect this.
It has no name.
It is a sound rising through the chakras resonating in these crotum and perineum, bringing with
it the plums, the nuts, the cracker jacks.
You see, it brings them up into the body cavity and out of the way, the breath, the tightly,
and then the pose with no problem whatsoever.
No 926.
Nothing.
Here, I will show you and all of you how to do it.
No, no, no.
I think that this is for the people that you're...
You've learned a lot of things.
No, well, that's fine.
But I'm sure that I think that...
It starts here with the breath.
So these men are calming their bodies and minds, getting in touch with the earth.
No, these men are puking their Buddha, making Sakshar to suck, yes, the Gote into the Buddha.
The Gote into the Guda.
Yes, the man must be very focused if he is to accomplish this.
He must concentrate.
The Gote into the Guda.
And what does it mean to suck the Gote into the Guda?
To suck the balls into the asshole.
There, you see?
But one at a time, very important.
You're happy with what you saw in that class.
Oh, yes, of course.
There is no reason not to be.
The man can now practice all the poses.
There is no obstruction, nothing in the way, no dangling balllets, dumbbells, grenades,
water balloons, meatballs, jelly beans, the two amigos.
And so men are now free to practice.
There is one important aspect left.
The women.
There are many Yoganis in the world now.
They must know what it is happening down below.
They must understand and find love in their hearts for the Wonder Twins.
And I have taken also the steps to teach them.
Let them roll and swing free.
Roll the hips, roll the hips, make way for the yam bag, concentrate, concentrate.
Yes, no joke, that's good.
Overall, there has been an outpouring of support from the Yovik community.
Men and women alike have embraced Shri Guru Manjigli's techniques and teachings.
Conspiracy theories, along with reported cases of 926s, have diminished.
Most importantly though, says Shri Guru, harmony is growing.
You feel you are making a difference in the lives of these men.
I am making an adjustment.
That is all.
We are all making adjustments on this earth, are we not?
How do you get them out?
