The bear itself was unharmed and has been transferred to a secure facility where state officials consider its fate.
In national news, NPR has received documents from an anonymous source revealing information about mercury systems, a private military contractor.
The documents are similar to releases made recently by WikiLeaks.
The releases cover topics ranging from internal policies regarding the black market resale of military-grade weapons
to email exchanges questioning the sexual orientation of mercury CEO Sean Black.
When approached for comment, Mercury spokesman Mark Carmel questioned the legitimacy of the documents but declined to respond further.
And finally, I'd like to take a moment to address some of those unsavory rumors floating around out there.
Some of you, I'm sure, are concerned about the impact all this attention may have on our operations abroad.
Look, as we continue our rise to the top, there are bound to be those who feel threatened by us.
And I'm not just talking about the ACLU socialists or the al-Qaeda, I'm talking about our competition.
As much as it pains me to say this, not everyone in our business is a pure patriot like we are.
But if they're gunning for us, that means we're doing something right.
And on an unrelated note, the boys back east have come up with a crackerjack rebranding strategy that's just too good to pass up.
Welcome to Humanitarian Management Incorporated.
You folks in marketing will have the design directives within the hour, and Ms. Drake, no more of that art school bullshit, lets man up for freedom.
Yes, sir.
Blackout.
So when did we decide to go to Ampere with the weapons sales?
And the gay room is about black, is that you?
We are taking a comprehensive approach here.
God damn it, we're supposed to be doing this together.
Is my ass on the line too?
Oh, um, do you have a preferred media outlet for the next leak?
I just thought we would talk about this before.
Listen, I had a couple of open shots, so I took them.
No, I'm sorry if I didn't have time to get your rubber stamp on every little detail.
Hey, come on.
We're good, man.
Hey.
What's up?
Want to see something?
Sure.
Is that?
What is that?
It's the new logo.
Okay, wow, because, you know, it kind of looks like you've got...
It's two guys fucking.
Are you serious?
Okay, this will never get out.
I'm sorry, but...
Is she?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's in.
This will totally get out there.
Those goons have no eyes.
See this?
If I tell them that these are bullets, that's all they'll see.
Next press release, there's going to be men fucking all over it.
Wow, okay.
You're going to get fired.
Hey.
You're fired.
All right, I'll do it.
My office.
What the shit, okay?
You started this.
I started a book.
Piss.
This is insane.
Exactly.
Okay, do you think anyone's going to be talking about this company if it's not acting insane?
Ah, it's all a part of the plan, kid.
I got to take this call.
Close the door on your way out.
Martha?
Hey.
Did you get the cookies?
Everything okay?
Great.
Yeah, totally.
Wow, okay.
I never realized you were such a dick.
What?
How am I a dick?
Great.
Yeah, totally.
I'm only trying to help.
Why?
Fuck those assholes.
Hi.
Hi.
Guess who's here?
My mom?
No.
Your mom?
Nope.
The babysitter?
Craig.
From your office.
Hey, Craig.
What's going on?
That's hot shit.
I want in.
In.
Don't bullshit me.
I know something's up and I want in.
So, what is it?
You want me to rat you out?
Or do you want to cut me a slice?
Look, I don't know what you think is going on here,
but there's no slice.
It's kind of like a not-for-profit thing.
Fine.
I'll defer my cut.
Yeah, it's not like that either.
Okay, it's just...
All right.
What do you want to do?
I'll cook the books.
I don't even know what that means.
It means whatever you want it to mean.
Listen, I pulled this shit at two dozen different companies.
I can build them up or tear them down.
I get black fucking fired if that's what you want.
How do you even have the clearance to, like, aren't you...
Non-essential?
Yeah.
That's a joke.
Look, a few years ago, back east,
I was bowing on the girlfriend of the CFO
of this ridiculous stationery company or something.
I don't even know what they did.
This chick starts having a crisis of conscience, right?
Starts talking like,
Big shit pops finally gonna leave his wife.
So, I go in Monday morning,
work a little of my magic.
Guess who's serving five to seven in a federal pen?
Wow, uh...
So what happened with the girl?
Fuck if I know.
Probably still stripping at the busty crustacean.
Hey.
Guess?
Sorry about that.
What the heck, Jonathan?
I know.
It is not okay for that guy or any of the other weirdos
you work with to be stopping by here.
At all.
I know.
You just can't bring this home.
Do you want me to shut it down?
I just need to know if I should be worried.
I understand.
I do.
Morning, Hans.
Hey, man, thanks.
Yeah, don't mention it.
How'd you do that?
Uh-huh.
CPA never reveals his secrets.
At least, not without getting something in return.
Have you seen this?
Seen what?
Show him.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Well, you all are incredibly fucked.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
