Well, Mr. Capelli, you're in a good mood this morning.
You're darn tootin'.
Is there a law against margaritas at breakfast?
My broken wallet is a hoot.
Jumper Jesus, what is this?
It's me.
What's here when I got here?
What?
And you didn't do anything?
What was I supposed to do?
You didn't tell me how to do anything.
We don't know where this came from.
Think, Barb.
This could be a bomb.
Bummer.
Oh, boy.
I don't like this one bit.
All right, Barb.
Call security.
As for my main man, Declan Michael Patrick O'Hoolahan.
Not necessarily in that order.
Security?
Yeah, uh, could you like send this dude, uh, Declan Michael Patrick O'Hoolahoo or something
to Paul Capelli's office?
I don't know, like a bomb or something.
I knew.
All right, you got any tongs, Barb?
Tongs?
Yes, tongs.
What am I speaking French here?
No, I don't have any tongs.
I have a thong.
If that helps.
There's no need to bring your underpants into this.
All right.
All right.
Now, do you know a Patricia Hoodle in accounting?
The one with no net?
No, that's her sister Denise.
I'm talking about Patricia.
Oh, it's a tattoo.
No, it's not a tattoo.
It's a growth.
She gets to use handicapped parking.
Whatever.
Now, if anybody's going to have tongs, it's Patty Hoodle.
All right, run, Barb.
Run.
What the hell's going on here, Paul?
Declan me, laddie.
There you are.
I want you to check this out.
You know, to see if we're safe.
Thanks a lot, Paul.
Like I want half my face blown up by that thing?
Doesn't look like a bomb.
Nothing looks like a bomb, Paul.
Till you're picking through the wreckage trying to find your other arm.
It's a nightmare, I tell you.
So what do we do?
We wait.
Okay.
For what?
Nine o'clock.
That's when my shift ends.
We'll let some other poor bastard lose his nuts with this damn thing.
Just so you know, it is a tattoo.
Which is illegal here.
All right, Barb.
This is Declan.
Declan, Barb.
Hi, Barb.
You two are both Catholics.
You should get along like gangbusters.
I am not a Catholic, Mr. Capelli.
I will file a complaint.
Stop!
Is it ticking?
I don't hear anything.
All I'm hearing is the pounding in my heart.
Paul, could you hold me?
Not now, Declan.
Barb, do you hear anything?
No.
Barb, this is life or death.
Take off the headphones.
Nothing.
All right, Declan.
Do you think we could maybe move this somewhere?
Great plan.
But I'm not going near it.
Barb, now use the tongs.
Take it to human resources.
Let those geniuses deal with it.
It's from Norm Capelli.
In Duluth?
Well, I'll be a yellow belly sapsucker.
My brother Norm sent a package.
Careful.
It's okay, Declan.
My brother Norm, he's good people.
He wouldn't blow his up.
Oh, would you look at this.
It's an assortment of cheeses from Minnesota.
I knew this was going to be a good day.
Cheese, Declan.
Thanks, Laurel.
I'll be never noticed, but I was never so scared in my entire life.
Free air.
