It's because of my stock price, right?
Huh?
I told you not to do it.
You did it?
I'm not like you.
What is that supposed to mean?
Right, you're profitable.
No, I'm tangible.
You're unbelievable.
That's what you are.
Lisa, it's complicated.
No, it's not.
Your stock is high, mine is low.
Don't...
If you're with me, I drive the price down and cost you money, right?
No.
That's not right.
Maybe.
Yes, but it's not because you're not valuable.
Yeah.
I'm so valuable you're breaking up with me.
No.
Lisa, look, let me be clear.
This is not personal.
It's business.
Well, you liked her, right?
What does that have to do with anything?
And she just got fired?
No, her company's profits were below projection, so they had to cut a little overhead.
What, are you an accountant all of a sudden?
I'm sorry, an engineer doesn't know how the world works.
That's the common perception, yes.
She shouldn't have done it.
I don't know why anyone does it.
Selling stock in yourself?
That's ridiculous.
Well, the free market can be very lucrative.
Sure, just look at her.
She lost a job she hated and a guy she loved.
We should put her in the brochures.
Oh, we're broken.
Hey, Pete.
What the hell is going on?
What do you mean?
Your nose diving.
No, it can't be right.
I just broke up with Lisa.
You did?
Yeah.
Wow.
You suggested it.
I didn't think you'd actually go through with it.
You said it could greatly enhance my valuation.
Sure, but you liked her, right?
What does that have to do with anything?
Okay, look, we have to figure this out because something is pulling you down.
Uh-oh.
Why would she do that?
She's probably angry.
It's just business.
I should sue.
Is any of it untrue?
No.
You shoot yourself at a pool party?
There was hummus.
It was questionable.
Well, if it's all true, there's nothing you can really do about it.
By cow.
Let's check the numbers.
On the personal stock exchange, the nursing sector dropped due to continuing shortages of health coverage.
Realtors has always fries and fall with the housing market,
so their numbers shot up with the latest interest rate drop.
And it's bad news for engineers with shady design standards in Korea causing ripples around the globe.
What?
Hey.
My stock is plummeting.
Yeah, the Korean engineers I just heard.
No, not that. You.
Oh. What are the disclosures?
Yes.
Well, the market thrives on information, Jim.
I thought you'd appreciate that.
Petty.
No, it's actually really helped my stock.
People see me as this brass, tax, no-nonsense kind of girl.
It's really attractive to investors.
All right. I get it. You're right.
I was being...
Lesson learned.
Not yet.
Jim, could I see you for a second?
Hey, what's up?
Well, we're all on edge because of that mess with the Korean engineers.
I know. Annoying, right? I mean, especially for you.
Why?
Yeah, because...
I'm Chinese, Jim.
Right.
Look, your stock price is in the toilet or in the pool to you, I guess.
And we're all vulnerable right now, so it's not going to look like a good investment to keep you on the books.
Wait, are you firing me?
We're just trying to keep our profits in line with our projections, so we're just cutting a little overhead.
Oh.
Okay, like what?
Like you.
Go.
Pete, it's Jim. I just lost my job.
That is going to kill you in the market.
I know, Pete, and no one's going to hire me if my stock gets any lower.
And I've got this whole mess with the Koreans, and I've got bills...
You've got to sell some shares. Now.
No, that's just going to drive the stock down even more.
Oh, no, it's going down, Jimbo.
Get some cash in your hands before you go down with it.
Okay.
Yep.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's going to be okay.
Hey, Pete. Thanks for checking in.
Yeah.
No, it's been a wild couple of weeks, you know, but at least I have some cash in my hand now.
And more than I was expecting, actually.
So, I'm just going to get my life together, get things back on the right track, and anyway, thanks.
Look, Jim, I'm going to need you to come down here.
Hey, what's up?
You told me to sell some shares.
No, Pete, you told me to sell some shares.
What?
We both sold, and so we didn't...
You're not the majority shareholder anymore.
In what?
In you.
Wait, I don't own me?
You own some of you, but not most of you.
Wait, I don't understand.
It's not that complicated, Jim.
You're a publicly traded commodity.
I own 60% of your shares.
Therefore, I own you.
Lisa, this...
Look, I think you're taking this a little too far.
I'm not even a good investment.
Oh, no, Jim, please let me be clear.
This isn't business.
It's personal.
Thank you.
