Tonight, the most watched competition of all time returns.
40 teams, seven continents, one man and his weenies.
You see his weenies?
It's my weenies.
Every terrain imaginable.
There are no rules.
The one rule, catch the weenie man at all costs.
You think you're gonna catch me?
I'm the weenie man.
You're never gonna catch me.
What's on the line, you ask?
Just a hundred million dollars.
I gotta call you back.
I can explain all this.
What the fuck man?
What is this?
I make migrahmins to play board games with.
No man, what is this?
Catch the weenie man.
Can you catch him?
Starts now.
Fuck yeah.
Oh, I just thought I'd put on the new episode of...
Catch the weenie man.
Can you catch him?
Yeah.
We've been talking about this all week.
Remember, third season starts today.
We were supposed to watch it together.
We're trying to see if they're gonna catch his weenies this year.
I just put it on because little PDAs slot chest.
So I just put it on to kill the time.
I can just start it over.
Start it over?
You think it's that simple man?
Yeah, that's exactly what I think we can do.
We can just start it over.
Got these bananas for you man.
We're supposed to eat them together when we watch this.
I got three bananas.
I can't eat three bananas.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
Dude, we can still do that man.
One banana for you.
One banana for me.
I mean little PDA.
You can't even eat bananas.
It's all PDA.
I can't believe you man.
That's it.
Been a shitty friend, haven't I?
Friend?
You always know what to say little PDA.
You know exactly what I gotta do.
Hello, and thank you for buying my self healing tapes.
Today, I'm going to be teaching you at home how to be a better friend.
What?
You don't have any friends?
Well for the next hour, pretend that I'm your friend.
Close your eyes.
Think.
Pretend that I'm giving you a hug right now.
Pretend we're walking around, a park, anywhere.
We're just having fun.
Today's lesson.
Number one, act of kindness.
What?
Can I come in?
Okay.
What do you want?
Listen man, I know I've been a shitty friend.
I know how much catch a weenie man means to you.
I hope they never catch him.
Well, I think there's someone you want to meet.
Did someone say weenies?
Oh my god.
How's it going Mark?
Nice to meet you.
Oh hold on, I got something for you.
Check this out.
Is this really it?
Sure is.
And you know what?
I want you to have it.
I gotta tell you something.
It's not about all these lavish dogs, okay?
It's not about the golden weenie either.
It's about the golden weenie inside the man that counts.
Oh shit!
Don't eat the fucking thing.
There's lead.
It's cold lead.
Am I gonna be okay?
Yeah.
You'll be fine.
He's good.
He's good.
Shit.
This has been a fucked up day.
I'm sorry about your friend.
But I better be going.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna do what I always do.
Right.
