If you come to that point and you feel like the person is not really giving you back,
right?
It doesn't make the person a bad person, but maybe that's her lifestyle, okay?
But again, you want more, okay, and you think you deserve more and you should be getting
more.
If you want to get in there, then it's not going to work, isn't it?
There was too much shouting, screaming, there was too much argument, too much stress.
I used to cry myself to sleep at night, to be honest.
It made me ill.
I lost a lot of weight, which was probably quite a bonus at the time when I looked back
at it, and I had to do a lot of things by myself.
I was suddenly thrown into from being, I suppose, a dependent person, a couple, to suddenly
being on my own with two young children.
I felt a little bit like someone had died, because there's something that's the centre
of your life for a year and a half.
Everything revolves around that, and suddenly it evaporates and it's gone, and I've experienced
quite a lot of death before, and it is actually very much like losing someone that you love.
You know, if you love somebody and they don't love you back, or for example, when you split
that emotion, it's just so, you know, you're on fire, it's just such, it's really hard
to describe and explain that.
You know, you just feel like you're world-vended, you know, and nothing sort of matters, you
know, in that moment and time.
It takes years, it's taken me years, nine years, and I still, I still feel to this day,
you know, I still feel hurt, I still, it's not as bad, time's a great healer, you know,
but everybody's different, some people, you know, some people might not, they'll obviously
still be hurt, but some people get over it more quickly, but it took me a long time,
and it depends, it also depends on how long they've been together, you know, if it was
a short marriage, you know, if there's kids, children involved, there's lots of things
really.
I don't like being sentimental about things, I like, I'm the kind of person that is straight
to the point.
So, and when I make that decision, right, I don't look back, never look back.
You know, you have to accept that something has happened, and that's really, really hard
at first, but then you have to say, you know, okay, I'm going to get on with things, these
are the things that I need to do.
You know, I didn't like hit the ball, I'll take pills, or any of that, you know, I just
kept working so that my brain was, you know, really active.
I just said, okay, I can't talk to you for like six months.
We had the same friendship group, and so I stayed away from our friendship group, and
I didn't even go to the bars or restaurants that we used to go to where we socialised,
because I was unable to separate from him being part of my life, so for me, I had to
break off ties completely, and then six months later, I bumped into him in the street, and
I was like, it's gone, I'm good, I'm cured, and so like we're friends, we're on good
terms now, but for me, it took just making absolute ties, cuts.
Every relationship, right, that you end, right, it gives you an opportunity for a new thing
to come into your life, right, you never know what the world holds out there for you, you
need to give yourself a chance, go out there, try something new.
About a year later, I met somebody else, and that didn't work either, because that one
was a big time, very big mistake, he was the opposite, he was like 20 years younger, but
he had a plan, a master plan, very not good, and I should have saw through that, and I
think I did, but I'll tell you something else in a minute, that's why you should always
go with your gut, always, never with your heart, your head, hi, two of these.
Yeah, I know, madam, I know it's mad, mad, thank you very much, two, four, six, oh no,
it was my, it was my girl, but it's not anymore, thanks very much, yes madam, thank you.
So you're fine, three, twenty, five, thanks, three, four, five, there we are, thanks.
