And this is what they're waiting for, an appearance on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, which
has seen so many royal and national occasions in the past.
I need a copy of the script, where's the script?
Hey, we've got 60 minutes, give that a work.
Oh for fuck's sake!
You're blind!
You're fucking useless!
Come on, come on.
Join us when you're happy.
Your mum is keeping it together.
What the fuck is this supposed to be?
There was a bank robbery for fuck's sake.
Someone was shot, all we had to do was show up.
Where the hell was the reporter?
Well, we could edit it some more, and we could put a commentary over it too.
We're already watching the bloody wedding anyway.
We'll headline with the fun run story.
Fuck the fun run!
You seem to forget our jobs are hanging by a thread here.
Okay Phil, let's rehearse the gym on.
What for?
Read the script.
It doesn't matter what's in the script.
It's not going to happen.
There aren't enough grips.
You hear rules.
Phil, you give us this cleft out ACTT bullshit every time.
Come on, Dexter.
We'll make it up with personnel.
I want two people to operate the gym.
Anyone switches that, I'll crucify the lot of you.
Ryan.
Arrogant spastic.
You're coming.
You're under charge of the broadcast.
Exciting stuff, isn't it?
Uh, why?
A bank robbery and a shooting.
Do you think a lot of people will watch?
If they're not all watching the wedding.
This is no more a news station than it is a fucking circus.
At least there's no union rep in a circus.
Well that should be.
Now people work in a circus.
No, no, we're just having a meeting.
We're discussing the lineup.
Uh, sorry, sorry, could you repeat that?
Look at this.
You see what we're reduced to.
Content to the show isn't my problem, it's yours.
Michael.
Michael.
What?
It's Howard.
He wants to speak to you.
Howard.
Hi, yes.
Yes, we got it.
Right.
Yep.
Okay.
Are we all in this shit or just you?
Where's Brian?
Brian.
Brian.
When were you last involved in the national news?
What?
18th of January, 1972.
Why?
Okay.
Network wants to broadcast the robbery on their six o'clock show.
Please tell me you didn't say yes.
They can't get anyone out of London.
They're all covering the wedding.
Yes.
So it's up to us?
Can we use the footage we already have?
Jesus, no, we can't use that.
Well, why don't we rob a bank ourselves if the story is having war with me?
We could shoot you and have Dexter give a heart wrenching interview.
We have enough time to find a witness.
A witness?
We go on air in 40 minutes.
Okay.
My office in 10.
See what you can come up with.
Don't mind that.
Okay.
Are you the tramee?
Okay, so what do we know?
Okay, so the robbery began at 10.30 this morning.
Three armed men entered the bank and fired what was reportedly a war.
War is reportedly in the copy.
Should it?
Always.
Keeps us on the right side of knowing nothing.
Problem solved.
Do either of you know who Ben is?
Does he work with a canteen?
Ben is our witness.
You saw it all?
You're not serious.
He bought the tea round this morning.
We write him some lines.
Keep it simple.
Do the interview.
Come on.
We've been liberal with the facts before.
You've been liberal with the truth.
He wasn't even there.
So what?
We've got something to report.
We've got ourselves a story.
Besides, this was your idea.
Jesus Christ!
Lisa and the bank, I'm sure we can...
I'm sorry, can we help you?
Briar.
Howard.
I thought you'd been retired.
I haven't seen you since...
January the 18th, 1972.
And Howard?
A dexter.
How did you end up here?
I direct the show.
I heard you were working the floor up at the border.
I was.
But now I direct the show.
What are you doing out of London?
I've been down here for the weekend.
When I rang Michael, he said I should come
and celebrate your good fortune.
Brian. Brian.
Who the fuck was that all?
I was going to tell you.
Who?
What do you want me to say?
I knew you were reckless.
I didn't realise you were quite such a cat.
Look, Howard, I stop him.
He's the head of regional broadcasting.
He's the head of regional broadcasting.
He's the head of regional broadcasting.
He's the head of regional broadcasting.
He's the head of regional broadcasting for fuck's sake.
I didn't want him breathing down our necks.
Seven years of her being stuck in the shit hole
because of that fat bastard.
Look, if we fuck this up,
do you seriously think anybody's going to give us a second chance?
Okay, everyone.
It's three cameras set up, that's all.
It's simple. Right, Brian?
We're going national.
We should be doing something with a bit more bite.
Stick to the script, all right?
Why does he have idiot birds?
It keeps the interview from stalling.
Can he hear us?
Who feels it, Bob?
You're right with everything.
London are going live at six.
They're opening with the wedding, then when that's through...
We take over, I know.
Just in case.
I've, um, queued up the robbery footage on TK2.
I thought we agreed it didn't work.
It didn't.
It's just as a last resort.
I mean, a last resort.
Howard. Howard, how good to see you.
Michael. Thanks for coming. Are they looking after you?
Very well indeed, thank you.
So this interviewee, is this an exclusive?
Rumour is the BBC could only get some dreary local policeman.
Dexter's been filling me in about the show.
Sounds promising.
Dexter, can you get me a coffee?
Okay. Let's just hope we're all up to speed.
Okay, Phil. Are we all set?
At Michael.
Come on, now. Take the line.
The network is going to restructure all of its regional stations.
South and South East are going to be combined.
But there's only room for one producer.
Where does that leave me?
I want to change the question. Make them sharper.
That's fine.
You need to carefully think about what your priorities are.
And with whom they lie.
Look, um...
Let's talk about that after the broadcast, okay?
Okay, Shelby, are you ready?
Just like we agreed.
Oh, wait for my cue.
I always do.
Okay, everyone, the usual drill.
You fuck it up, cover it up.
National going live.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Welcome to the nation...
How long do we go live?
We're up after this.
...in celebration of the wedding of Prince Charles.
That's right. Go live in 60 seconds.
Excuse me, sir.
The world gets its first full glimpse of the fairytale princess.
Demure.
Everybody set?
Now to a small bank in rural Hampshire where...
Okay, we're on in five, four, three, two, one.
Hello, Sylvia.
Shit. Phil.
Good evening, Nigel.
Police are stationed outside a rural bank today...
...where a robbery has taken place.
Ryan, is everything all right?
Joining us, we have Steve Mitchell, a local resident...
...and eye witness to the event.
Steve, thank you for joining us.
If you fuck this up, you won't have a pot to piss in.
I'm fine. Cue camera two.
What was your initial reaction?
I was very surprised. Shocked, even.
Where were you when the robberies started?
I was shopping.
How close were you to the bank?
She's going off the script.
Did you go inside?
What's wrong with him?
He's probably a little nervous.
Just down the street.
Was this before or after you had the gunshot?
What did you actually see?
I saw three men arrive around 10.30.
Was this before the gunshot?
Five minutes later, after the first gunshot.
First? How many shots were there?
Oh, shit.
One. Possibly two.
Get her back on script, Dexter.
Where the hell did you find this guy?
I mean, who the fuck is he?
I'm sorry.
I mean, what were you thinking?
I don't think, do you?
What?
Excuse me.
Sylvia?
I'm asking the name of the bank.
Which bank was this?
Why is she asking that?
Cut to the robbery footage now.
She's introducing it.
Go to it now.
Let her finish.
Let her finish.
Your local bank?
The one you were outside this morning.
Barclays?
Going to bank footage.
Take them off the air.
Take it back to London.
We're sorry about that.
We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties.
I'm sorry.
How can you not know the name of something you were a few feet from?
What's going on?
Who are we off to?
GBTV.
No.
No, it wasn't misunderstanding.
I'm reckless.
GBTV.
So what do we do now?
Ryan.
How did it go?
It was a cocker.
It was a cocker.
