HALLIE OUTSIDE
Welcome to the Knocking Shop
C'mon in, c'mon in
We got live music, live music
And bitches, bitches, bitches
Farrows, ferrows, ferrows
Teeth, teeth, teeth
And girls' names, girls' names
And girls' names
Plus we've got interviewees, interviewees, and then we've got interviewees
And we've got the cocktail hour with our lovely Sarah
Sarah and we've got Sarah hosting the lovely Sarah hosting cocktail hour
And let's not forget Graeme Gadget
Graeme Gadget plus Graeme Gadget
And so much, so much more
Oh, we've got so much more
We've got all sorts of shit happening
Don't we mumbles?
Mumbles? What do you think about that?
I think it's wonderful
And I'm wondering what you're gonna call me, Mumbles?
Oh, what do I do?
Ah, hey, hey, hey
What a guy, what a guy, come on
Right, come on, come on, let's go
Let's go
So, first of all, let's introduce bitches
Hey
Hey, hi
Hi
Hello
Welcome, bitches
Winner
Play it away, kids
Yeah
We're men of drip heart shit
Men of their red
In the whip month
When I win a war
We're gonna go war
When I win a war
All that I take is gold
When I win a war
All that I take is gold
We want this energy
Can't let it be God
We want this energy
Can't let it be God
We want this energy
Can't let it be God
We want this energy
Can't let it be God
Morning everyone
My name's Bro Kokowski
Here, I'm a robot
From the future, OK?
This is where I hang out
This is where I spend most of my time
I generally reside in the stag's head, you know, when I'm not doing other things like game shows
One of the cool things I get up to. You know, I don't know why I pay attention to these humans
I could kill them all in one second with my lasers and shit. Still as an idiot, you know.
My friends here. Gamma's the interesting guys. They're always kind of coming and going and my hangout, man.
It's just like a day in my life. Maybe I might go with bookies later. I've got quite a gambling.
Generally, you know, so looking for company, really find a nice girl, you know, settle down. I've been like checking out girls online.
It's the sort of thing you get into, you know, when you've got a lot of time on your hands.
You can hook up with some of these things, many walks in the park. Yeah, that kind of thing.
Hi, I'm Sarah Barrow.
Welcome to The Knocking Shop, and I'm here with bitches.
Hi, bitches! How you doing? I'm good.
I heard that soup was invented by a housewife in Hull who simply wanted to warm her plums.
Have you ever needed to warm your plums?
Have I ever needed to warm my plums? Have you ever been so cold?
Okay, I woke up when I was about 11 years old, and my first instinct when I wake up is to fill my testicles.
I was 11, so something was amiss. I ran directly into my parents' room, grabbed my mum.
The instantaneous reaction was, grab the mum, because she seemed more wise.
I didn't want to alarm her. Mum, I've lost a ball.
I said, calm down, he'll come back. Went back to my room, panicked, read a bit of Quest.
Do you remember the Science Monthly?
Can you imagine me collecting Quest Science Monthly, really? Come on now.
It was a science periodical, and I looked in it, and I couldn't find anything about it.
Suddenly, all came back. And then I learned, as a grown man, that sometimes balls disappear.
So we've learned some things today. Now, all I can imagine is your balls going back up into your body.
So we'll move on to question number two.
They say, one in ten zoos commit fraud by selling penguins to the Disney Channel.
When was the last time you went to the zoo? What was the most exciting part about going to the zoo?
Every time you go to the zoo is incredibly exciting. Have a thing with penguins.
The last time we went to the zoo, I fell some camel hair, put it down my chest, make a murk.
Weirdly, all the camel hairs made perfect triangles.
But a murk is a pubic wig.
They're pubes. Beards, belly, dick, nears, balls.
They're all pubes, basically. Beards, pubes.
Beard is pubes. We have an adopted cat called Merkin.
But if you can't afford to have one or grow one, you can steal them off of camels.
The first custom breed, there was a spreadigled woman.
She was brought down from the roof of the pyramid stages. It was then known.
Seven hours of vaginal wind chime. Must have been quite powerful.
What year was this show?
So what's your favourite casserole?
A beef one.
Six men in a boat. One of them has a broken leg.
Two men have knives. Two of the three are wearing helmets.
How many of the men do you think have criminal records?
Get counting blank.
Three.
Anyway, sorry guys, I'm going to have to stop you there. Next question.
Have you two ever arm wrestled?
Well, you were a winner to me.
Been lovely interviewing you both. Very entertaining couple.
So that was the lovely bitches. See you next time on The Knocking Job.
Hello.
Hello.
Hey.
Welcome to my mate's room, man.
The breakfast is ready for the leisure.
5.20 is also got his iron piece of course in.
It's at 9.00 tomorrow as well, so...
6.00 to 1.
Right, man, hey, too.
Hi, I'm Sarah and welcome to The Cocktail Hour.
Well, which is a quiz, a new part of The Knocking Shop.
Here is Team A, Sylazac and Trixie Canyon.
And Team B, Graham and Kev.
Can I point out immediately before we go any further, actually, Sarah, that my name is not Graham.
Shall we begin?
No.
Question number one.
Are you ready, Team A?
Yes!
Fusiastic.
So, during World War II, the men were all at war.
This meant the women missed going to the wrestling on a Saturday night.
How did the women entertain themselves instead of going to the wrestling?
Oh, you're a woman.
Oh, no, I don't think I am.
I am...
Blitz fucking.
Oh, building bullets.
I don't know.
Can you pass it over?
Yeah.
Gardening.
The answer was they would wrestle each other while wearing fake pants.
They would wrestle each other while wearing fake pants.
That sounds like a lot of bull crap.
That actually happened in broccoli.
Broccoli beards.
Question number two.
I have an auntie who dated a tannery worker in Dudley.
What was his special talent?
A tannery worker was a booze place.
Well, fuck off to our question.
Pissing, pissing on my leather.
It's our question.
We reckon he's got extra vision.
You can see the answers.
You're such a cheater.
I've got extra vision, man.
I just don't consent to it.
I'm from the future.
What are you talking about?
I'm going to give that one point to Team A.
Fuck off, Blankstein.
Take that to the future.
Question number three.
What did the Daily Mirror nickname the Bottlenose Whale who died in the Thames?
George.
I think I know.
Is it Willie?
Is it Wally?
The answer to that question is Whaley.
Well, I said it before she said it.
Points.
I demand points.
I'm not going to give us any points.
We're saying the fucking name.
In the film Ghost, who played the ghost?
Dead.
Dead, dude.
Right, answer.
Moving on.
Question number five to Team A.
Skipton is known for being the porn capital of Yorkshire.
But what else is Skipton well known for?
Dogs that have recently started buying castles in Skipton.
That's wrong.
But I'm going to have to give you half a point.
So, to Team B.
Graham.
What colour is the postbox outside the Queen's house?
Is it red?
It certainly is.
Last question to Team A.
I'm going to give them a question.
Who are affectionately called monkey hangers?
Gorillaz in the Mest?
No.
Not her.
Those ladies that work in Topshop in the dressing room section.
No.
Want to pass the question?
I don't know the entire answer and I could be completely wrong.
But has it got something to do with the northern town, which I can't remember which it was.
They captured a boat or something, a French boat and there was monkeys on it.
Dressed as...
It was in...
What was the town?
War time.
It was in some war time.
I didn't know he accused them of being a spy.
They thought it was a French spy and they hung him.
Because he was speaking of...
It was a French spot.
That's it.
Because he was speaking a funny language that they didn't understand.
I don't know what the town was.
But we gave a lot of information there.
The answer was people from Hartlepool and the Hartlepool is supposedly the town that you were talking about.
I suppose anyone's been doing any acting at all.
So who was?
You did say earlier that I wasn't very academic.
She's not book smart and she's not proper dumb or nothing.
