as Marian Kirby, the Ghostist with the Mostis,
Robert Sterling as George Kirby, that most sporty spirit,
and Leo G. Carroll, host to said ghost as...
Topper!
Oh, Mr. Topper, did you have a nice game first?
Incredible.
This is Topper, huh?
Yes, sir. She's upstairs on the phone, I think, sir.
May I make you a nice hot cup of tea, sir?
That'll be very nice, Katie.
Eight to five, you can't think it, George.
Two with my eyes closed.
Mary, you cheated. You moved the hole.
You cheated. You had your eyes open.
Stop it, both of you.
George, put that butter bag in the bag.
Marian, pick up that ball.
You heard what the man said, George. Put that away.
What harm am I doing?
You seem to forget that while only I can see in here
both of you your odd manifestations
are perfectly visible to all and some of it.
That's been half of my life
explaining away these phenomena in the bag.
How'd you do that?
Oh, just mine of a matter.
Little practice. Anyone can do it.
Let me see you do it again.
Yeah, let's see.
Well, not now, Katie.
I'm a little exhausted after my golf,
and it's rather strange on my...
my leisure domain.
He won't get up, Topper. He loves it.
He won't, won't he?
All right, I'll sit on it.
Are you comfortable, Mr. Topper?
Like that, I mean?
Oh, yes.
A form of yoga, known as the lotus position.
Extremely relaxing.
I can sit like this all day.
Here, Neil.
Right on.
Exactly.
What's new, Topper?
Aren't you going to thank us
for helping you out on the golf course today?
No, I am not.
They'll probably throw me out of the club, thanks to you.
Well, they can't throw you out of the club
for nine birdies, two eagles, and three holes in one.
That doesn't look legitimate
for a man with a thirty-three handicap.
Personally, I wouldn't belong to a club
that was that suspicious.
Now, please, go away and let me rest
and read in peace.
He wants to rest in peace, George.
So who's stopping him?
Cosmo.
What's the matter, Cosmo?
Isn't that so for comfortable?
Oh, perfectly, Henrietta.
It's just that I am...
I'm...
It's his yogurt position, ma'am.
Yogurt?
Mr. Topper can sit like that on his lotus all day.
It's very relaxing, he says.
Yes, of course.
She means yoga.
Selma just phoned from downtown.
She's in the decorator's shop and she wants our car keys.
Henrietta, I wish you'd think twice before you let Selma
have the car again.
She's pretty poor risk, you know.
She's been arrested three times for parking on the sidewalk.
I think the poor dear needs glasses.
She does charge about a good deal.
Needs glasses?
Yeah, a bottle of wine with a plate of spinach.
She is clumsy and terribly absent-minded.
Well, I'll be off, dear.
All right, all right, dear.
Hey, wait a minute. I'll go with you.
I just love decorator shops.
Well, Selma,
she's easily the most forgetful woman in the world.
Next to Henrietta.
What do you mean?
What? Henrietta?
Wait, the keys.
What do you mean you're going to represent the furniture?
The check was most definitely sent down.
Must have been lost in the mail.
Are you listening?
You jipped me on a ten-piece modern drawing on the street
and I paid for that.
Don't you threaten me with a finance company.
Oh, Mr. Charles, thank you so much for letting me use the telephone.
With a local call?
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Please, Miss Kimmy, look where you're going.
Oh, I'm just admiring your lovely furniture.
Well, perhaps you'd better just stand still.
Well, I'll be all right in a minute.
I can't speak to you as I could.
It's just me. I was looking at the chair in the window.
That's odd.
I know it's odd, but I thought maybe you would like it.
Miss Charles, this is Henrietta.
Yes, Mrs. Topper. This is Mr. Charles, Mrs. Topper. Henrietta, I mean.
Mrs. Cosmo Topper.
The wife of the banker?
You know I have some.
Only by reputation.
I think it looks better from this angle.
Excuse me.
Especially when thermal's around.
Your friend was just admiring my furniture.
Such good taste.
Oh, thank you.
Accidents will happen.
Mrs. Topper, your house has been pointed out to me.
It's charming.
Oh, thank you.
I suppose the interior is modern?
Oh, no, I'm afraid.
So many people are afraid of the modern.
It's just that the interior is modern.
So many people are afraid of the modern.
It requires extremely refined taste.
Oh, don't misunderstand me. I do like it.
It's, uh, quite nice.
I think we'd best be going, Delmar.
Just a minute, Miss Kidney.
You have given me the most wonderful idea.
Yes.
Mrs. Topper, look at that.
It's a fish net, isn't it?
Gloves and net, Mrs. Topper.
Oh, Miss Kidney, you have the instinctive sense of design.
Oh, but I didn't mean to do the design.
You like to work for me.
Wonderful idea.
Oh, she'd be a brilliant decorator.
She has such good taste.
I need an assistant.
Please, won't you try this for a few days?
Oh, I just love it, too, Mr. Tarle.
Thank you so much.
I'm sure I could add a new touch here and there.
Oh, what an interesting touch.
Absolutely brilliant.
Thank you, Mr. Tarle.
Goodbye, Mr. Tarle.
Okay, okay.
I'll go class.
My old company.
They will stop at nothing.
Cosmo, I'm home.
Nice to see you, dear.
And I've got a visitor.
How much did that cost?
Cosmo, look at me.
I haven't changed a bit.
Hello, Selma.
This is Mr. Tarle, Cosmo.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Tarle.
The exercise will do me good.
Mr. Tarle is an interior decorator.
Selma's going to work for him.
I've brought him to see our house.
He's heard so much about it.
Oh, yes.
Isn't it lovely, Mr. Tarle?
Quite, yes.
No, no, Mrs. Tarle, this is definitely not you.
No, my wife has two legs.
You know what I meant, Mr. Tarle?
Your wife strikes me as being more modern,
more forward-looking, up-to-date.
Not quite so antique.
No, she is remarkably well-preserved.
Oh, no.
No, Mrs. Tarle, no, this is not you.
Must be somebody.
Perhaps it's me.
Selma, why don't you show Mr. Tarle the ground?
Oh, I'd love to.
This way, Mr. Tarle.
I once saw a ten-piece modern drawing home sweet.
Oh, it would look just beautiful.
Oh, can't know.
I want you to be nice to Mr. Tarle.
I like him, and Selma likes him.
Oh, that makes it three to one.
What?
Well, you like him.
Selma likes him.
He certainly likes himself.
Mr. Tarle is a very cultured man.
And furthermore, I'm not so sure he's wrong.
This room isn't really me.
Who's the guy with Selma?
Well, that's Mr. Charles.
He's an interior decorator.
And what's he doing outside?
Well, Selma's going to work for him,
and Henrietta's going to help her.
And I'm going to help Henrietta.
Well, you too.
You know, I may do over this whole house.
George, I, uh...
I don't trust this, Charles Selma.
What's the pitch, Chief?
Oh, you know, the usual thing.
Smooth talker, good salesman.
Probably gets Henrietta and Selma to bring in rich customers,
then pleases them.
I, uh...
I'd be awfully glad if you'd keep an eye on him for me.
Is this an assignment, Chief?
I wouldn't do more than it's absolutely necessary.
Chief, have I ever failed you?
Miserably. Unconstantly.
Well, you can't hit a bull's eye every time.
Come on, Neil, we'll decorate our interiors with a couple of martinis.
Then we'll check on this interior decorator.
George, the first thing I'm going to do is change that window.
What's the matter? Don't you like glass?
No, I mean the inside. It needs more things inside.
I kind of like it the way it is.
It's powerful and stark.
The customer?
Well, he must have changed his mind.
He must have changed his awfully past.
The child doesn't seem to have many customers.
Brothers, this guy in hot.
Hey, take this net, dear.
I want you to help me fix the window before Mr. Child comes back for lunch.
Fix the window?
Certainly. I'm going to make it look like a drawing room.
For what, flounders?
I do hope we have some customers today.
I don't believe you know the display people think of next.
Let's go outside and see how it looks.
Stella, come with us.
See who it is.
Henrietta! Henrietta!
We've been robbed.
Why didn't you send some? Stop whom?
The robbers.
There wasn't anybody here.
Then how could all that furniture have disappeared?
I don't know.
Look, Henrietta, oh, in the window.
How do you like it? Is it mean?
It's insane.
It's you.
That's what I call an interesting window.
Mrs. Topper, your desire to do over the window has convinced me that you and the modern world were meant for each other.
But Mr. Child, I didn't do over.
Believe me, you have inherent good taste.
Really?
Mrs. Topper, I really wish that you would live with it for a while just to see if it does not fit your personality.
I'm afraid Mrs. Topper wouldn't.
Oh, but Mr. Topper is an intelligent man, is he not?
Yes.
Well, I can let you have a ten-piece modern, boring home suite, of course.
But...
Mrs. Topper, if a leading member of the community like yourself were to furnish her home in a new modern,
break the ground, so to speak, pioneer, then the others will follow, and you will get on of the credit.
Henrietta, to be a pioneer, I do have a little money of my own.
I could do it as a surprise for Cosmo.
What a wonderful idea.
What do you think of it, Selma?
It's all right, I think.
Won't Cosmo be surprised?
Oh, yes, you'll be surprised, all right.
You haven't gotten rid of the old furniture, have you?
No, it's in the attic.
Why do you like it?
I just wondered where it went.
It's Cosmo.
Come in, Cosmo, but close your eyes.
Still there.
What is it?
That furniture.
It's a surprise.
Well, that's clever.
As you can play cards and watch the other fellow's feet at the same time.
You'll know it after you've lived with it for a while.
It's so functional, so we're functional.
That is good for dropping things, too.
Of course, if you don't like it.
You said I didn't like it.
Oh, Cosmo, try this chair.
It's so comfortable.
It is a chair.
It fits any shape.
Press nice a bit on my stomach.
No, no, no, don't help me.
Don't help me.
I can do it.
I can do it.
It may take a little time, but I'll do it.
Goodness sake, Cosmo, let me help you.
Don't let your pride go to your head.
Why not?
I can keep my blood company.
It's rather like being in traction, isn't it?
I guess I should get used to it.
A little practice.
I'm not a snake.
In there, there.
I was only joking.
It's very comfortable.
Oh, yeah.
I mean it.
It's very comfortable.
If you're a bark and stricter.
You have no idea how comfortable the floor is until you tried one of these chairs.
It's no use barking, Neil.
It won't go away.
I didn't have a thing to do with the top.
Honestly, I didn't.
It's a complete surprise to me.
It's a surprise to me, too.
You better knock me over with a feather very easily.
Guess what that holds for?
Only we could send this stuff back without having Henrietta's feelings.
What makes you think Charles would touch it?
I told you it was a swindler.
He holds everybody in town.
Couldn't we just close the house and leave the furniture in it and sneak out on it?
We've got to get the money back some way.
Cosmo.
I just phoned Mr. Charles.
Oh?
He won't take the furniture back.
But I thought you liked it.
I thought I did, too, but I do.
Oh, Cosmo.
It's all my fault if I hadn't left the keys in the car.
No, dear, it's not your fault.
I should never have.
How much did it cost?
$3,000, but it's the only set of its kind.
Oh, well, that's something.
Oh, Cosmo, can you ever forgive me?
Topper, I've got a wonderful idea.
Not now.
You'll forgive you later, won't you, Cosmo?
Would you like to get rid of that furniture?
Yes.
What did I tell you?
Topper, I've got an absolutely foolproof scheme.
There's only one trouble.
There's only one way to play a fool.
But you can't back down now.
Well, that's the work.
That's the thing he recognizes me.
Why, your own wife wouldn't even recognize you.
You want to get rid of that furniture, don't you?
And you want to get Henry out of money back?
Well, yes, but look, there's only one thing you have to remember.
That is, don't lose your French accent.
All right, let's get it over with.
Remember, we're right behind you.
Good morning.
Uh, Mr. Char?
Oh, perhaps, Topper, he's on a land with a loot.
Je suis Mr. Char.
Vous désirez, monsieur?
Dis-pici-vous, s'il vous plait, je suis prêt-sez.
Euh, avec pardon.
I don't speak English.
Uh, please, speak the English.
When in Rome, we do as the Romans do you, no?
I don't speak English.
When in Rome, we do as the Romans do you, no?
Huh?
Now what?
Don't get carried away, old boy.
You, uh, you're speaking English beautifully,
but you, uh, you're a gallo.
Last month, when I passed your window, I see a chair.
It's so beautiful chair.
Oh, I'm afraid it has been sold.
He's afraid.
Oh, you think he has went to so beautiful chair?
I sold him only last week.
Maybe perhaps for me, you can find for me like it another?
There's something wrong with that last sentence.
Oh, monsieur, it's too bad you did not come in last month.
This chair was part of a ten-piece drawing room suite.
Oh, a ten-piece? Ten-piece?
What, life is a beautiful chair?
Oh, for this, I would have paid through the ear.
Through the ear?
His nose was stuffed up.
Perhaps, monsieur, perhaps there is a possibility
I cannot guarantee anything,
but maybe the people who own the furniture
could be persuaded to sell it back.
They could be persuaded to give it back.
You think maybe perhaps, yes?
I will call the gentlemen.
I bet he's not in.
What are they getting?
Will you excuse me?
Uh, please.
In fact, I'll go with you.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You will be much more comfortable here.
Uh, no, no.
Once, I was in a foreign leisure.
Since then, I am comfortable any place.
Very well.
Oh, George, stop with the wonderful, isn't he?
I wouldn't be surprised if he quit the bank
and became a con man.
Oh, Henrietta.
Henrietta, go home.
You've got everything up.
Well, Mr. Charles?
Very well, thank you, Mr. Stopper.
Could you come back later?
Don't put me off.
I've earned the factory that made that furniture,
and I won't have a talk with you.
Well, I was just going to telephone you.
Why don't you go home and wait for my call?
What are we going to do?
Try and get Charles out of the store.
Give me a chance to talk to Henrietta.
Anything you have to say to me, you can say to my face.
But I have a customer.
I hope you're not cheating him.
No, no, no, no.
We're preaching him just fine.
Why don't you walk around the block two or three times?
Hopper wants us to get rid of Charles.
You mean do him in?
No, get him out.
That furniture didn't cost anything.
Excuse me, I have a customer.
I don't see anyone.
What's more, it's so awful they've stopped making it.
My busy day up.
Come back later.
I've got to get that customer before he gets away.
Well, I hope you don't get away, Mr. Charles.
Come back here.
Cosmo, what are you doing here?
I don't think you wouldn't recognize him.
And how did you get those bags?
Five o'clock shadow.
Stop up.
Mr. Conor, what are you doing?
We're called for repairs.
We're opening next week with a brand new floor show.
Let me in.
So, you've come back.
Where have you been?
She locked me up.
I don't see anything funny about it.
No sense of humor.
Have you two met?
We are just meeting now.
She's a big help.
Mr. Gallo, would you mind waiting inside, please?
I will take care of these ladies.
Then I will be right with you.
Oh, reservoir, ma'am.
I am so sorry that we do not met longer.
Mrs. Topper, I have been thinking things over,
and I have decided to take back this amateur.
I'm not sure I want to give it back.
But you said you did not like it.
I know, but my husband does.
I would be willing to give you a slight profit.
How slight?
Shall we say, um, 3,500?
6,000.
6,000!
6,000!
And I will set this.
Just a moment.
Mr. Gallo, how much would you be willing to pay for this furniture?
You think you can get me for it?
No, I feel reasonably sure.
How about the people who own it?
I am prepared to pay $5,000.
I'm afraid they would require at least twice this amount.
Very well, then I pay $10,000.
Topper does a high bargain.
You win.
$3,000 for the deposit.
Thank you, Mr. Gallo.
Excuse me a minute.
Here is $3,000 in cash.
Thank you all for the check for the beds.
How can I understand this? Who is looking home?
Very simple.
Henrietta paid $3,000.
Topper paid $3,000.
And Charles paid $6,000.
Yes, we somebody's got $12,000.
You're a mathematical genius.
They're all even.
Then why did we go to all this trouble?
They want to stick Charles with the furniture.
Oh.
I will send it from the furniture to the customer.
Forgive me, Mama, then.
I send you where the furniture is to develop.
And now, if you please, I must go.
What an actress.
I must go, too.
Dear darling, take these.
George, I wonder what he's thinking.
A John W. Lutzen, Bernard L. Schubert production.
Produced by John W. Lutzen.
Starring Anne Jeffries, Robert Sterling, and Leo G. Carroll.
