The cliff is a beautiful place that stretches on for miles.
But all the way across it is that immense sadness.
Before it happened, I didn't even know it was a suicide spot.
I always heard about people falling off and how dangerous it was when I was a kid.
But it wasn't until after my sister was found a pair that I realised it was so famous for suicides.
I was walking home from college when I realised I didn't have my keys and my mum and dad were both at work.
But it was alright because she was meant to be in and I just rang the door.
When I got home I realised there was no one there.
I tried ringing her to find out why she had gone and how long she would be but I got no answer.
I tried to find a different way into the house.
I managed to jump over my wall and climb through a window.
It was a couple of hours before I even wondered where my sister had gone and before I went upstairs and checked in her room.
She wasn't there. I saw a piece of folded up notebook paper lying on her pillow. It read...
Dear mum and dad, yet again my father and self are in this exact same place with no one to talk to.
I just can't do this any longer. The thought of a new year starting here I am again, right at square one.
I don't want to go through another year feeling this way. Nothing will ever change.
I'm never going to get better so this is it. I'm ending it now. No more pain, no more worrying.
Everyone will be at peace. I've gone past the point of being saved.
I know it is selfish to do this but I guess I am selfish and hate filled and I deserve everything I get.
I hate to put you through this pain but I'm finally free. Know that I love you all.
I didn't know what to do. I looked around her room to work out where she might have gone but I couldn't see anything.
I felt so powerless. I then rang my mum to tell her what happened and she came straight home and rang the police.
We then just waited. Not saying anything. It was the longest two hours of my life.
When the phone finally rang it was the police telling us that she had found a beachy head going to jump. It was awful.
I felt a mixture of happiness, anger and sadness. Happiness because she was actually safe and I would get to see her and stuff but
I was angry that she would actually do that to herself. It's disgusting. The way she made my mum feel was horrible.
I'd never really seen her properly break down before then.
Every now and then I like to walk up there with my talks just to look around and remember that day.
Most people would want to forget the worst day of their life. Get rid of all the feeling they felt that day but I can't.
It's taught me to love the people you care about and make them know that you appreciate them every day and for eternity.
I'm not going to be a fan of the old days.
I'm going to be a fan of the old days.
I'm going to be a fan of the old days.
