Yeah, so this doesn't look good, and the guy you hear yelling for our throats in the background?
Yeah, that's awesome.
But I guess the question is, was she worth it?
You bet your ass.
A risk is not a risk, unless there's a real possibility of loss, while at the same time having an equally real possibility of new gain.
The moment I saw her, I knew I had to have her.
I wasn't sure for how long or for what purpose, but you know, like they say, love at first sight.
Well, maybe this wasn't love, but she damn sure did something to me that first sight.
I'm a part-time soccer coach, and a full-time grifter.
The problem with being a grifter, unlike a soccer coach, is that breaking the rules are the only rules.
So you're always trying to shortcut your way.
We only did small jobs, insurance scans, counting cards, a small-time gambling joints, and at least mid-level crooks out of the weekend of strip club night.
So it took a lot to convince my boys to do the job.
Okay, so really, all it took was telling a big fat lie.
All right, man, I saw it with my own eyes, all right?
This thing is like the size of a golf ball, this freaking thing.
And Munch gave me the combo to the save dudes.
So why can't we do this when they're asleep?
Pick the alarm, trigger it, and then grab the bloody thing.
It won't work, dude. Munch told me they got double transistors on the alarm.
We tripped the first one off, the second one's going to go automatically.
Wait, wait, wait. Double transistors inside and outside loops?
Jake, we've never done a job this big.
We're going to get pinched.
Wait, wait, wait. All we have to do is lure the guy out of the house.
Jake, that sounds too easy.
Be thankful, okay? It's a simple, red-haired job.
You guys do what I ask you to do.
I'll get in, make the grab, and get out.
In and out in no time. Press toe.
Sex ain't even that easy, bro.
Hey, hey, you be singing a different tune if you were married.
We're going to do this or what?
Let's go. Let's go. Let's get pinched.
I have nothing to do this year.
Anyway, I convinced them to do the job and it seemed everything was set up perfectly.
Can I help you?
Yeah, they call me tiny. What's up?
You're not going anywhere.
I'm sorry, sir. He's not going anywhere. Get back in your bike.
You don't tell me what to do.
No, you don't tell me what to do. Get back in here.
You don't tell me what to do.
Tonight.
So are you sure that's the case?
Because if it is, I'm going to do some sweet ass tonight.
As a matter of fact, I hope that's the case.
Because it's been a minute since I've done some sweet ass.
We're not getting the floor.
What's the deal with the whole sweet ass life?
I'll hop in for a man sat in the deck and said it was twice.
Like I said, everything is set up perfectly.
Oh my god.
Well, who are you?
Hi.
What are you doing here?
I've only got just a few minutes, so please come and have a seat.
What do you want?
Just only take a few minutes to roam up, okay?
You're crazy. My boyfriend is right outside. He just stepped outside for a minute.
I know, I know. It's all good. He'll be out there for about 20 minutes or so.
Please come follow me.
And so we talked for what seemed like hours about everything.
Life, love, risk, adventure.
And she laughed and laughed for what she said was a first time in probably two long years.
It was as if the whole world had stopped and she just kept on talking and talking and talking.
What the hell's going on here?
Oh, hey fella, you want to join us?
What the hell are you doing in my house?
Well, we're having some dinner.
And ain't dinner around here. It's like a dinner around here is over cooked chicken.
Hang on a little fella.
Alright, let's just be adults about this.
Oh, we finna be adults. You finna calculate a dough size. Beat down.
It's only gonna get worse. It's only gonna get worse for you. It's only gonna get worse.
Man, I never thought I could run so fast and fly so hard at the same time.
Yeah, so like I said earlier, this doesn't look good.
Did you get it?
Yeah.
Oh, really, Jack? Well then show us the bloody thing.
After about an hour of hiding in the parking garage, breathing hard and fearing for our lives,
that crazy SOB finally gave up.
We would eventually make it home, of course, with no loot.
And it would take nearly two weeks before my boys would forgive me for almost getting them killed from my little stunt.
But it was worth it.
Dinner with her boyfriend would never be the same.
