Hey everybody, welcome to The Big Game with Oren Duck Bannister.
I'm happy to be back.
Now you're probably looking at my set going, hey, duck, what happened there?
I'm going to tell you what, it's the pilot episode.
We were raring to go, we couldn't even wait to put stuff in.
You know what I'm talking about?
Let's get to the tailgate topic of the day.
Injuries in sports.
I'm talking crazy.
It's running through like a rash.
You know, I was talking to my buddy, Doc Ellis.
He's the daddy of AJ Ellis, who plays out there in Lollaland with Donnie baseball.
Doc Ellis and AJ Ellis aren't related at all.
They don't even look alike.
Oh, look who decided to pop up here in the pilot.
You all remember my junior producer there all around painting the butt?
The spider.
Well, he's back because I couldn't get anybody else to do his job.
You know what, spider?
You don't interrupt now.
Like now is not the time.
All right?
It's not related.
How do you know?
Were you there when he was born?
Were you at the hospital?
St. Mike's.
That's where he was born.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
We're in the doc, man.
We've been…
We've gotten some fun.
I'm not going to talk to you about that.
By the way, the Foo Man shoe?
Lose it.
No Foo Man shoe.
We're keeping a Steinbrenner on this show.
Robby, come back here, bud.
Rob…
Yeah.
Sorry about that, folks.
Obviously, you know, the spider.
I'm going to give a little wink to my boy over here.
Robby, he's my new camera.
You're camera one, Robby.
No, they can't see you, bud.
You're camera one.
So stay locked on the duck, okay?
All right.
Let's get into the meat of the show now that we don't have any more unerupted, unerupted.
I don't know what I'm saying.
Duck's Mailbag.
You know, we're really excited about having the show back, and I know you are, too.
We get emails and letters from the fans out there about the return of the big game and
Duck Bannister.
So, Spider, do me a favor.
Read me some of those emails.
No, Robby.
No, Robby.
Stay with the…
Okay.
That's strike two, Robby.
Hang with me.
Spider.
Hey, Dick.
Typo.
You were certainly never a pro athlete, but you're definitely a jerk off.
Dave B. in paramsis.
Well, I'll tell you something, David.
That's okay with me, buddy.
You're entitled to your opinion.
Everybody has one.
You know what I'm talking about?
Not always going to be booze.
Got to have the booze and the cheers.
It's the same cereal.
I'm going to eat it.
I'm going to be in your face.
Spider, give me something good.
Hey, Chode.
My mom wants her glasses back.
Stan in Tacoma.
I'll tell you something, Stan.
You can name call all you like.
Remember, I played in the pros, pal.
I've heard worse.
I've heard worse.
Hey, Spider, let's get to the good ones.
Erectile dysfunction, plaguing your sex life.
Get 300 pills to boost your libido now from Canada.
Spider, that's spam.
You know, it doesn't matter, folks.
We got a lot of emails, a lot of letters.
They're probably in a mailbag somewhere else with all the other stuff we didn't put up
on the set today.
And we'll get to it next time.
You know, I got to tell you.
Here at The Big Game, we're real excited about this coming season.
We got some good guests and a lot of fun.
Mike, David Kekner, Jabba Chamberlain, Reggie Jackson, Tom Brokaw, and that girl who used
to be Willie or Millie on the Wonder Year is going to stop by.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
You've been watching The Big Game with your host, Orrin, the duck banister.
We'll see you next time.
Thanks for tuning in.
I thought that was a good show.
No, no.
Everything you do is bad.
Look at the set.
All right?
I'm nickel and diamond this thing.
You got tape on the table.
And then you interrupted me right off the bat, right off the bat.
You're the pilot.
This is the pilot episode.
You're crashing it into the mountain.
Doc Ellis isn't related to DJ Ellis.
Have you seen what they look like?
What are you, a DNA guy?
How do you know?
I was there when the man was born.
And this thing, lose it.
Just lose it.
All right?
It's awful.
You look like an extra from a bird cage.
Have a kitten lick it off your face.
What do you got?
Dirt there?
What do you got?
Dirt there?
Get some clear assault.
It looks professional.
It doesn't look professional.
