I didn't do anything. I can't help it if he's oversensitive and didn't like me pointing
out the fact that he was late.
Not what you said. You pointed out that he was a little tardy.
I failed to see why that pissed him off.
He happened to be a midget with Down syndrome. And you said that right to his face.
Yeah, in my defense though, it was nowhere near his face. It was a good three feet above
it, actually.
Sorry, sorry. I'm late.
Damien kept me up all night with all her crying kids.
I'm surprised she's quiet right now, though.
You didn't bring her.
What?
Oh, crap. I left her in the cab again.
Again?
Last time this happened, she spent the whole day with the cabby learning new words.
Death to the infidels. Jiminy coffee.
So we decided to go in a different direction while you were gone, and the investor backed
out.
So, no, but I think this is going to be a good thing anyway. We don't even have a name
for our site yet. I said we do this grassroots style, all right? We launched the site ourselves.
We put a donation link, and then we just do some aggressive advertising.
Oh, well, advertising is my forte. You know, when I was with the publication, I was in
charge of print ads.
Oh, that's wonderful.
If I make one little mistake, though, it would lose my job.
Well, I'm a little more forgiving than a publication.
It's lovely.
Seriously, though, how bad of a mistake?
Well, Funland Putt Putt has its annual fundraiser, and, you know, somebody gets a hole in one,
the business gives $100. Well, I came up with this ingenious print campaign.
Sent it off to press. It ran in all the local newspapers and magazines.
Oh, wait. You know, I think I have it here with me. Hold on.
Oh, here.
What the hell?
Really?
Yeah.
Is this your filing system?
All right. Here we go. Funland Putt Putt, annual drive.
Help put an end to abused children by shooting a hole in one.
See?
Shooting a hole in one.
Oh.
Yeah, that looks pretty bad.
Yeah, when you read it out loud, yeah, it sounds bad.
And for this, you lost your job. Can't imagine why.
I have been doing some research myself. I've looked at some of my favorite sites,
and I have determined what works and what doesn't work.
Excellent. That's some great initiative.
Thank you, Justin. I appreciate the compliment.
Thank you.
Now, I think what we need to determine first and foremost is what would Amanda not be willing to drink out of a cup?
Not much.
No, not really the direction I want to go with this session.
You know what, Kevin? You need to focus.
We are trying to make some tough decisions here, okay?
When was the last time you made a difficult decision?
Now, can you say, help me, I'll be on Kenobi, you're my only hope?
Last night is a matter of fact.
How about you?
Let's see.
Meanie, meanie, miney, mo.
Oh, well, now that's interesting.
Last night as well.
Names, people.
Okay, we need something to draw the geeks to us.
Star Trek dot com, Total Nerdville.
What? No.
Harry Potter dot com, it's really popular.
What? I think that's already been taken.
UI architectural patterns dot edu.
Infinite genres dot com.
Genre affinity.
Two genre affinities, one cup dot com.
Too far.
Okay.
Genre affinity dot com.
I like that.
I want a networking domain.
Genre affinity dot net.
Great.
So we got a name and a theme and I assume you're going to register the domain?
Yes.
This is Amanda.
Oh, you know what?
This is the cab company.
I need to take this.
One second.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, that was me.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
She was a white baby.
Okay, so you'll just keep looking then?
Okay.
Um, you know what?
My neighbors just got this Asian baby and he or she, or he, I don't know, is anyway,
very cute.
So I was thinking if you had one of those Asian babies just laying around and you're
lost and found, you're lost and found.
Yes.
I'll just take one of those because, uh, hello.
Oh, well, they're going to keep looking.
So where was I?
Surprisingly not at a child protective services hearing.
Genrefinity.net.
It's going to be the premier website for all things sci-fi, fantasy, or pop culture.
Yes.
But you know, we need a catchphrase.
Something that's going to set us apart from the competition.
The few that proud the Marines.
Yes.
That's already taken.
What by who?
The Marines.
The truth is out there.
Oh, yes.
That's the X-Files.
The night he came home.
Oh.
Halloween by the power of gray skull.
Oh, come on.
You're not even trying.
It's not usually this hard.
Your ex-wife.
You dirty whore.
Your physician at the free clinic.
Uh-huh.
Okay, no catchphrases.
Thank you.
This site is going to stand on its own.
The content.
Perfect.
And it has the power to do so.
People are going to eat this shit up.
That's right.
You know what, Justin?
I wholeheartedly believe in what you're doing with this site.
And I know that we are going to create something amazing here.
Thank you.
I'm so proud to hear that.
I really think that we've got a great team going on here.
I'm really excited about the direction we're going in, guys.
And I really like the people we have involved, all right?
I can do the web development.
Amanda can do the articles.
So we find someone better.
So we find someone better.
And she can blog about the genres.
Oh, yeah.
So we find someone better.
Well, of course, so we find someone better.
Fuck off.
Easy.
And then you, of course, you're our people person.
I need you to go out.
Because for some reason, for some reason that I can't quite understand, people like you.
I don't know why.
We don't like you.
Nope.
We don't like you.
Hm?
She's teaching her daughter not to like you.
That's right.
But people like you.
And they will follow you.
Like the pied piper.
Like the pied fucking piper.
They will follow you.
They will follow you through the town because you're playing a merry melody on your little
pipe flute there, all the children running in tow.
Like a pedophile.
Like a pedophile.
Like a pedophile with all the children running behind you.
They're all screaming up for joy, trying to grab onto your trousers and pull them down.
Like addicts needing more.
Because that's the power you have.
So here's your task, Kevin.
Can you pimp this site?
Yo.
Now you're talking my language.
Ooh, indecipherable grunts, moans, and whistles.
No, that would be how you get called to the trough for slop.
You get one of those a lifetime?
I swear to God, I will fuck you.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Kevin, stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it, you guys.
Just stop it.
You two have to learn to work together, okay?
If we're going to get this site up and running, we need you two on board, okay?
Stop it with the big ring.
I need you two to promise me that you can work together on this.
Fine.
Okay.
I promise that I will work on being nice to Amanda.
I don't think you needed to raise your voice.
Amanda, that's exactly what we needed.
The puzzle pieces were flying.
Temperance.
Fine.
I will do my best to work with Kevin.
Thank you.
Is that so hard?
Now shake hands.
You know what?
In a show of good faith, I will give him a hug.
No, that's not necessary.
No, no, it's fine.
You kind of smell like my mom.
I hear that all the time.
This is a dangerous group.
It's groups that we're dealing with now.
