THE SUBJECT. 
 CHREMES commands his wife, when pregnant, if she is delivered of a girl
 immediately to kill the child. Having given birth to a girl, Sostrata
 delivers her to an old woman named Philtera to be exposed. Instead of doing
 this, Philtera calls her Antiphila, and brings her up as her own. Clinia,
 the son of Menedemus, falls in love with her, and treats her as though his
 wife. Menedemus, on learning this, is very angry, and by his harsh language
 drives away his son from home. Taking this to heart, and in order to punish
 himself for his ill-timed severity, Menedemus, though now an aged man,
 fatigues himself by laboring at agricultural pursuits from morning till
 night. At the period when the Play commences, Clinia has just returned to
 Attica , but not daring to go to
 his father's house, is entertained by Clitipho, the son of Chremes, who is
 the neighbor of Menedemus. Clitipho then sends for Antiphila, whose supposed
 mother has recently died, to come and meet her lover. On the same day,
 Chremes learns from Menedemus how anxious he is for his son's return; and on
 hearing from his son of the arrival of Clinia, he defers informing Menedemus
 of it until the next day. Syrus, the servant who has been sent to fetch
 Antiphila, also brings with him Bacchis, an extravagant Courtesan, the
 mistress of Clitipho. To conceal the truth from Chremes, they represent to
 him that Bacchis is the mistress of Clinia, and that Antiphila is one of her
 maids. Next morning Chremes informs Menedemus of his son's arrival, and of
 the extravagant conduct of his mistress, but begs that he will conceal from
 Clinia his knowledge of this fact. Bacchis requiring ten minae, Syrus
 devises a plan for obtaining the money from Chremes, while the latter is
 encouraging him to think of a project against Menedemus. Syrus tells him a
 story, that the mother of Antiphila had borrowed a thousand drachmae of
 Bacchis, and being dead, the girl is left in her hands as a pledge for the
 money. While these things are going on, Sostrata discovers in Antiphila her
 own daughter. In order to obtain the money which Bacchis persists in
 demanding, Syrus suggests to Chremes that it should be represented to
 Menedemus that Bacchis is the mistress of Clitipho, and that he should be
 requested to conceal her in his house for a few days; it is also arranged
 that Clinia shall pretend to his father to be in love with Antiphila, and to
 beg her as his wife. He is then to ask for money, as though for the wedding,
 which is to be handed over to Bacchis. Chremes does not at first approve of
 the plan suggested by Syrus; but he pays down the money for which he has
 been informed' his daughter is a pledge in the hands of Bacchis. This, with
 his knowledge, is given to Clitipho, who, as Syrus says, is to convey it to
 Bacchis, who is now in the house of Menedemus, to make the latter more
 readily believe that she is his mistress. Shortly after this, the plot is
 discovered by Chremes, who threatens to punish Clitipho and Syrus. The Play
 concludes with Chremes giving his consent to the marriage of Clinia with
 Antiphila, and pardoning Clitipho, who promises to abandon the Courtesan,
 and marry. Unlike the other Plays of Terence and Plautus, the Plot of this
 Play extends over two days.

THE TITLE OF THE PLAY. 
 IT is from the Greek of Menander. Performed at the Megalensian Games; Lucius
 Cornelius Lentulus and Lucius Valerius Flaccus being Curule Aediles.
 Ambivius Turpio performed it. Flaccus, the freedman of Claudius, composed
 the music. The first time it was performed to the music of treble and bass
 flutes; the second time, of two treble flutes. It was acted three times;
 Marcus Juventius and Titus Sempronius being Consuls. 
 HEAUTONTIMORUMENOS; 
 THE SELF-TORMENTOR.

THE SUMMARY OF C. SULPITIUS APOLLINARIS. 
 A SEVERE father compels his son Clinia, in love with Antiphila, to go abroad
 to the wars; and repenting of what has been done, torments himself in mind.
 Afterward, when he has returned, unknown to his father, he is entertained at
 the house of Clitipho. The latter is in love with Bacchis, a Courtesan. When
 Clinia sends for his much-loved Antiphila, Bacchis comes, as though his
 mistress, and Antiphila, wearing the garb of her servant; this is done in
 order that Clitipho may conceal it from his father. He, through the
 stratagems of Syrus, gets ten minae from the old man for the Courtesan.
 Antiphila is discovered to be the sister of Clitipho. Clinia receives her,
 and Clitipho, another woman, for his wife.

THE PROLOGUE. 
 LEST it should be a matter of surprise to any one of you, why the Poet
 has assigned to an old man 
 a part that belongs to the young, that I will
 first explain to you; 
 and then, the reason
 for my coming I will disclose. An entire Play from an entire Greek
 one, 
 the Heautontimorumenos, I
 am to-day about to represent, which from a two-fold plot 
 has been made but one. I have shown that it is
 new, and what it is: next I would mention who it was that wrote it, and
 whose in Greek it is, if I did not think that the greater part of you
 are aware. Now, for what reason I have learned this part, in a few words
 I will explain. The Poet intended me to be a Pleader, 
 not the Speaker of a
 Prologue; your decision he asks, and has appointed me the advocate; if
 this advocate can avail as much by his oral powers as he has excelled in
 inventing happily, who composed this speech which I am about to recite.
 For as to malevolent rumors spreading abroad that he has mixed together
 many Greek Plays while writing a few Latin ones, he does not deny that
 this is the case, and that he does not repent of so doing; and he
 affirms that he will do so again. He has the example of good Poets;
 after which example he thinks it is allowable for him to do what they
 have done. Then, as to a malevolent old Poet 
 saying that
 he has suddenly applied himself to dramatic pursuits, relying on the
 genius of his friends, 
 and not his own natural abilities; on that
 your judgment your your opinion, will prevail. Wherefore I do entreat
 you all, that the suggestions of our antagonists may not avail more than
 those of our favorers. Do. you be favorable; grant the means of
 prospering to those who afford you the means of being spectators of new
 Plays; those, I mean, without faults: that he may not suppose this said
 in his behalf who lately made the public give way to a slave as he ran
 along in the street; 
 why should
 he take a madman's part? About his faults he will say more when he
 brings out some other new ones, unless he puts an end to his caviling.
 Attend with favorable feelings; grant me the opportunity that I may be
 allowed to act a quiet Play 
 in silence;
 that the servant everlastingly running about, the angry old man, the
 gluttonous parasite, the impudent sharper, and the greedy procurer, may
 not have always to be performed by me with the utmost expense of voice,
 and the greatest exertion. For my sake come to the conclusion that this
 request is fair, that so some portion of my labor may be abridged. For
 nowadays, those who write new Plays do not spare an aged man. If there
 is any piece requiring exertion, they come running to me; but if it is a
 light one, it is taken to another Company. In the present one the style
 is pure. Do you make proof, what, in each character, 
 my ability can
 effect. If I have never greedily set a high price upon my skill, and
 have come to the conclusion that this is my greatest gain, as far as
 possible to be subservient to your convenience, establish in me a
 precedent, that the young may be anxious rather to please you than
 themselves.

Enter CHREMES, and MENEDEMUS with a spade in his hand, who falls to
 digging. 
 
 CHREMES 
 Although this acquaintanceship between us is of very recent date, from
 the time in fact of your purchasing an estate here in the neighborhood,
 yet either your good qualities, or our being neighbors (which I take to
 be a sort of friendship), induces me to inform you, frankly and
 familiarly, that you appear to me to labor beyond your years, and beyond
 what your affairs require. For, in the name of Gods and men, what would
 you have? What can be your aim? You are, as I conjecture, sixty years of
 age, or more. No man in these parts has a better or a more valuable
 estate, no one more servants; and yet you discharge their duties just as
 diligently as if there were none at all. However early in the morning I
 go out, and however late in the evening I return home, I see you either
 digging, or plowing, or doing something, in fact, in the fields. You
 take respite not an instant, and are quite regardless of yourself. I am
 very sure that this is not done for your amusement. But really I am
 vexed how little work is done here. 
 If you were to
 employ the time you spend in laboring yourself, in keeping your servants
 at work, you would profit much more. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Have you so much leisure, Chremes, from your own affairs, that you can
 attend to those of others-those which don't concern you? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I am a man, 
 and nothing that concerns a man do I deem a matter
 of indifference to me. Suppose that I wish either to advise you in this
 matter, or to be informed myself: if what you do is right, that I may do
 the same; if it is not, then that I may dissuade you. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 It's requisite for me to do so; do you as it is necessary for you to
 do. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Is it requisite for any person to torment himself? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 It is for me. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 If you have any affliction, I could wish it otherwise. But prithee, what
 sorrow is this of yours? How have you deserved so ill of yourself? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Alas! alas! He begins to weep. 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Do not weep, but make me acquainted with it, whatever it is. Do not be
 reserved; fear nothing; trust me, I tell you. Either by consolation, or
 by counsel, or by any means, I will aid you. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Do you wish to know this matter? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Yes, and for the reason I mentioned to you. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I will tell you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 But still, in the mean time, lay down that rake; don't fatigue
 yourself. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 By no means. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What can be your object? Tries to take the rake from
 him. 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Do leave me alone, that I may give myself no respite from my labor. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I will not allow it, I tell you. Taking the rake from
 him. 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Ah! that's not fair. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 poising the rake. Whew! such a heavy one as this,
 pray! 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Such are my deserts. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Now speak. Laying down the rake. 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I have an only son,--a young man,--alas! why did I say--" I
 have?"--rather I should say, "I had" one, Chremes:--whether I have him
 now, or not, is uncertain. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Why so? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 You shall know:--There is a poor old woman here, a stranger from
 Corinth :--her daughter, a
 young woman, he fell in love with, insomuch that he almost regarded her
 as his wife; all this took place unknown to me. When I discovered the
 matter, I began to reprove him, not with gentleness, nor in the way
 suited to the love-sick mind of a youth, but with violence, and after
 the usual method of fathers. I was daily reproaching him,--"Look you, do
 you expect to be allowed any longer to act thus, myself, your father,
 being alive; to be keeping a mistress pretty much as though your wife?
 You are mistaken, Clinia, and you don't know me, if you fancy that. I am
 willing that you should be called my son, just as long as you do what
 becomes you; but if you do not do so, I shall find out how it becomes me
 to act toward you. This arises from nothing, in fact, but too much
 idleness. At your time of life, I did not devote my time to dalliance,
 but, in consequence of my poverty, departed. hence for Asia , and there acquired in arms both
 riches and military glory." At length the matter came to this,--the
 youth, from hearing the same things so often, and with such severity,
 was overcome. He supposed that I, through age and affection, had more
 judgment and foresight for him than him-self. He went off to Asia , Chremes, to serve under the
 king. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What is it you say? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 He departed without my knowledge--and lias been gone these three
 months. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Both are to be blamed--although I still think this step shows an
 ingenuous and enterprising disposition. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 When I learned this from those who were in the secret, I returned home
 sad, and with feelings almost over-whelmed and distracted through grief.
 I sit down; my servants run to me; they take off my shoes: 
 then some make all haste
 to spread the couches, 
 and to prepare a repast; each according to his
 ability did zealously what he could, in order to alleviate my sorrow.
 When I observed this, I began to reflect thus:--"What! are so many
 persons anxious for my sake alone, to pleasure myself only? Are so many
 female servants to provide me with dress? 
 Shall I alone keep up such an
 expensive establishment, while my only son, who ought equally, or even
 more so, to enjoy these things-inasmuch as his age is better suited for
 the enjoyment of them--him, poor youth, have I driven away from home by
 my severity! Were I to do this, really I should deem myself deserving of
 any calamity. But so long as he leads this life of penury, banished from
 his country through my severity, I will revenge his wrongs upon myself,
 toiling, making money, saving, and laying up for him." At once I set
 about it; I left nothing in the house, neither movables 
 nor
 clothing; every thing I scraped together. Slaves, male and female,
 except those who could easily pay for their keep by working in the
 country, all of them I set up to auction and sold. I at once put up a
 bill to sell my house. 
 I collected somewhere about fifteen
 talents, and purchased this farm; here I fatigue myself: I have come to
 this conclusion, Chremes, that I do my son a less injury, while I am
 unhappy; and that it is not right for me to enjoy any pleasure here,
 until such time as he returns home safe to share it with me. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I believe you to be of an affectionate disposition toward your
 children, 
 and him to be an obedient son, if one
 were to manage him rightly or prudently. But neither did you understand
 him sufficiently well, nor he you-a thing that happens where persons
 don't live on terms of frankness together. You never showed him how
 highly you valued him, nor did he ever dare put that confidence in you
 which is due to a father. Had this been done, these troubles would never
 have befallen you. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Such is the fact, I confess; the greatest fault is on my side. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 But still, Menedemus, I hope for the best, and I trust that he'll be
 here safe before long. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Oh that the Gods would grant it! 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 They will do so. Now, if it is convenient to you--the festival of
 Bacchus 
 
 is being kept here to-day--I
 wish you to give me your company. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I can not. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Why not? Do, pray, spare yourself a little while. Your absent son would
 wish you do so. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 It is not right that I, who have driven him hence to endure hardships,
 should now shun them myself. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Is such your determination? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 It is. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Then kindly fare you wall. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 And you the same. Goes into his house. 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 to himself. He has forced tears from me, and I do pity
 him. But as the day is far gone, I must remind Phania, this neighbor of
 mine, to come to dinner. I'll go see whether he is at home. Goes
 to PHANIA'S door, makes the inquiry, and returns. There was
 no occasion for me to remind him: they tell me he has been some time
 already at my house; it's I myself am making my guests wait. I'll go
 in-doors immediately. But what means the noise at the door of my house?
 I wonder who's coming out! I'll step aside here. He stands
 aside.

Enter CLITIPHO, from the house of CHREMES. 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 at the door, to CLINIA within. There is nothing, Clinia,
 for you to fear as yet: they have not been long by any means: and I am
 sure that she will be with you presently along with the messenger. Do at
 once dismiss these causeless apprehensions which are tormenting you.
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 apart. Who is my son talking to? Makes his
 appearance. 
 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 to himself. Here comes my father, whom I wished to see:
 I'll accost him. Father, you have met me opportunely. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What is the matter? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Do you know this neighbor of ours, Menedemus? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Very well. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Do you know that he has a son? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I have heard that he has; in Asia . 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 He is not in Asia , father; he
 is at :our house. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What is it you say? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Upon his arrival, after he had just landed from the ship, I immediately
 brought him to dine with us; for from our very childhood upward I have
 always been on intimate terms with him.. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 You announce to me a great pleasure. How much I wish that Menedemus had
 accepted my invitation to make one of us: that at my house I might have
 been the first to surprise him, when not expecting it, with this
 delight!--and even yet there's time enough---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Take care what you do; there is no necessity, father, for doing so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 For what reason? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Why, because he is as yet undetermined what to do with himself. He is
 but just arrived. He fears every thing; his father's displeasure, and
 how his mistress may be disposed toward him. He loves her to
 distraction: on her account, this trouble and going abroad took
 place. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I know it. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 He has just sent a servant into the city to her, and I ordered our Syrus
 to go with him. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What does Clinia say? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What does he say? That he is wretched. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Wretched? Whom could we less suppose so? What is there wanting for him
 to enjoy every thing that among men, in fact, are esteemed as blessings?
 Parents, a country in prosperity, friends, family, relations, riches?
 And yet, all these are just according to the disposition of him who
 possesses them. To him who knows how to use them, they are blessings; to
 him who does not use them rightly, they are evils. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Aye, but lie always was a morose old man; and now I dread nothing more,
 father, than that in his displeasure he'll be doing something to him
 more than is justifiable. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What, he? Aside. But I'll restrain myself; for that the
 other one should be in fear of his father is of service to
 him. 
 
 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What is it you are saying to yourself? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll tell you. However the case stood, Clinia ought still to have
 remained at home. Perhaps his father was a little stricter than he
 liked: he should have put up with it. For whom ought he to bear with, if
 he would not bear with his own father Was it reasonable that he should
 live after his son's humor, or his son after his? And as to charging him
 with harshness, it is not the fact. For the severities of fathers are
 generally of one character, those I mean who are in some degree
 reasonable men. 
 They do not
 wish their sons to be always wenching; they do not wish them to be
 always carousing; they give a limited allowance; and yet all this tends
 to virtuous conduct. But when the mind, Clitipho, has once enslaved
 itself by vicious appetites, it must of necessity follow similar
 pursuits. This is a wise maxim, "to take warning from others of what may
 be to your own advantage." 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I believe so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll now go hence in-doors, to see what we have for dinner. Do you,
 seeing what is the time of day, mind and take care not to be any where
 out of the way. Goes into his house, and exit CLITIPHO.

Enter CLITIPHO. 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 to himself. What partial judges are all fathers in regard
 to all of us young men, in thinking it reasonable for us to become old
 men all at once from boys, and not to participate in those things which
 youth is naturally inclined to. They regulate us by their own
 desires,--such as they now are,--not as they once were. If ever I have a
 son, he certainly shall find in me an indulgent father. For the means
 both of knowing and of pardoning 
 his faults shall be found by me; not like mine,
 who by means of another person, discloses to me his own sentiments. I'm
 plagued to death,--when he drinks a little more than usual, what pranks
 of his own he does relate to me! Now he says, "Take warning from others
 of what may be to your advantage." How shrewd! He certainly does not
 know how deaf I am at the moment when he's telling his stories. Just
 now, the words of my mistress make more impression upon me. "Give me
 this, and bring me that," she cries; I have nothing to say to her in
 answer, and no one is there more wretched than myself. But this Clinia,
 although he, as well, has cares enough of his own, still has a mistress
 of virtuous and modest breeding, and a stranger to the arts of a
 courtesan. Mine is a craving, saucy, haughty, extravagant creature, full
 of lofty airs. Then all that I have to give her is--fair words 
 --for
 I make it a point not to tell her that I have nothing. This misfortune I
 met with not long since, nor does my father as yet know any thing of the
 matter. (Exit.)

Enter CLINIA from the house of CHREMES. 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 to himself. If my love-affairs had been prosperous for
 me, I am sure she would have been here by this; but I'm afraid that the
 damsel has been led astray here in my absence. Many things combine to
 strengthen this opinion in my mind; opportunity, the place, her age, a
 worthless mother, under whose control she is, with whom nothing but gain
 is precious. Enter CLITIPHO. 
 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Clinia! 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Alas! wretched me! 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Do, pray, take care that no one coming out of your father's house sees
 you here by accident. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 I will do so; but really my mind presages I know not what
 misfortune. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Do you persist in making up your mind upon that, before you know what is
 the fact? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Had no misfortune happened, she would have been here by this. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 She'll be here presently. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 When will that presently be? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 You don't consider that it is a great way fiom here. 
 Besides, you know the ways of women,
 while they are bestirring themselves, and while they are making
 preparations a whole year passes by. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 O Clitipho, I'm afraid---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Take courage. Look, here comes Dromo, together with Syrus: they are
 close at hand. They stand aside.

Enter SYRUS and DROMO, conversing at a distance. 
 
 SYRUS 
 Do you say so? 
 
 
 DROMO 
 'Tis as I told you,--but in the mean time, while we've been carrying on
 our discourse, these women have been left behind. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 apart. Don't you hear, Clinia? Your mistress is close at
 hand. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart. Why yes, I do hear now at last, and I see and
 revive, Clitipho. 
 
 
 DROMO 
 No wonder; they are so encumbered; they are bringing a troop of female
 attendants 
 with them. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart. I'm undone! Whence come these female
 attendants? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 apart. Do you ask me? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 We ought not to have left them; what a quantity of things they are
 bringing! 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart. Ah me! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Jewels of gold, and clothes; it's growing late too, and they don't know
 the way. It was very foolish of us to leave them. Just go back, Dromo,
 and meet them. Make haste--why do you delay? (Exit DROMO. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart. Woe unto wretched me!--from what high hopes am I
 fallen! 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 apart. What's the matter? Why, what is it that troubles
 you? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart. Do you ask what it is? Why, don't you see?
 Attendants, jewels of gold, and clothes. her too, whom I left here with
 only one little servant gil. Whence do you suppose that they come? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 apart. Oh! now at last I understand you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 to himself. Good Gods! what a multitude there is! Our
 house will hardly hold them, I'm sure. How much they will eat! how much
 they will drink! what will there be more wretched than our old
 gentleman? Catching sight of CLINIA and CLITIPHO. But
 look, I espy the persons I Was wanting. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart. Oh Jupiter ! Why, where is fidelity gone? While I,
 distractedly wandering, have abandoned my country for your sake, you, in
 the mean time, Antiphila, have been enriching yourself, and have
 forsaken me in these troubles, you for whose sake I am in extreme
 disgrace, and have been disobedient to my father; on whose account I am
 now ashamed and grieved, that he who used to lecture me about the
 manners of these women, advised me in vain, and was not able to wean me
 away from her:--which, however, I shall now do; whereas when it might
 have been advantageous to me to do so, I was unwilling. There is no
 being more wretched than I. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 to himself. He certainly has been misled by our words
 which we have been speaking here. Aloud. Clinia, you
 imagine your mistress quite different from what she really is. For both
 her mode of life is the same, and her disposition toward you is the same
 as it always was; so far as we could form a judgment from the
 circumstances themselves. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 How so, prithee? For nothing in the world could I rather wish for just
 now, than that I have suspected this without reason. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 This, in the first place, then (that you may not be ignorant of any
 thing that concerns her); the old woman, who was formerly said to be her
 mother, was not so.--She is dead: this I overheard by accident from her,
 as we came along, while she was telling the other one. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Pray, who is the other one? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Stay; what I have begun I wish first to relate, Clitipho; I shall come
 to that afterward. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Make haste, then. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 First of all then, when we came to the house, Dromo knocked at the door;
 a certain old woman came out; when she opened the door, he directly
 rushed in; I followed; the old woman bolted the door, and returned to
 her wool. On this occasion might be known, Clinia, or else on none, in
 what pursuits she passed her life during your absence; when we thus came
 upon a female unexpectedly. For this circumstance then gave us an
 opportunity of judging of the course of her daily life; a thing which
 especially discovers what is the disposition of each individual. We
 found her industriously plying at the web; plainly clad in a mourning
 dress, 
 on account of this old woman, I suppose, who
 was lately dead; without golden ornaments, dressed, besides, just like
 those who only dress for themselves, and patched up with no worthless
 woman's trumpery. 
 Her hair was
 loose, long, and thrown back negligently about her temples. To
 CLINIA. Do you hold your peace. 
 
 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 My dear Syrus, do not without cause throw me into ecstasies, I beseech
 you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 The old woman was spinning the woof: 
 there was one little servant girl
 besides;--she was weaving 
 together with them, covered with patched
 clothes, slovenly, and dirty with filthiness. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 If this is true, Clinia, as I believe it is, who is there more fortunate
 than you? Do you mark this girl whom he speaks of, as dirty and
 drabbish? This, too, is a strong indication that the mistress is out of
 harm's way, when her confidant is in such ill plight; for it is a rule
 with those who wish to gain access to the mistress, first to bribe the
 maid. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 to SYRUS. Go on, I beseech you; and beware of endeavoring
 to purchase favor by telling an untruth. What did she say, when you
 mentioned me? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 When we told her that you had returned, and had requested her to come to
 you, the damsel instantly put away the web, and covered her face all
 over with tears; so that you might easily perceive that it really was
 caused by her affection for you. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 So may the Deities bless me, I know not where I am for joy! I was so
 alarmed before. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 But I was sure that there was no reason, Clinia. Come now, Syrus, tell
 me, in my turn, who this other lady is. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Your Bacchis, whom we are bringing. 
 
 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Ha! What! Bacchis? How now, you rascal! whither are you bringing
 her? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Whither am I bringing her? To our house, to be sure. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What! to my father's? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 To the very same. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Oh, the audacious impudence of the fellow! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Hark'ye, no great and memorable action is done without some risk. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Look now; are you seeking to gain credit for yourself, at the hazard of
 my character, you rascal, in a point, where, if you only make the
 slightest slip, I am ruined? What would you be doing with her? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But still---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Why "still?" 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 If you'll give me leave, I'll tell you. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Do give him leave. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I give him leave then. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 This affair is now just as though when---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Plague on it, what roundabout story is he beginning to tell me? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Syrus, he says what's right--do omit digressions; come to the point. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Really I can not hold my tongue. Clitipho, you are every way unjust, and
 can not possibly be endured. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Upon my faith, he ought to have a hearing. To CLITIPHO. 
 Do be silent. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 You wish to indulge in your amours; you wish to possess your mistress;
 you wish that to be procured where-withal to make her presents; in
 getting this, you do not wish the risk to be your own. You are not wise
 to no purpose,--if indeed it is being wise to wish for that which can
 not happen. Either the one must be had with the other, or the one must
 be let alone with the other. Now, of these two alternatives, consider
 which one you would prefer; although this project which I have formed, I
 know to be both a wise and a safe one. For there is an opportunity for
 your mistress to be with you at your father's house, without fear of a
 discovery; besides, by these self-same means, I shall find the money
 which you have promised her--to effect which, you have already made my
 ears deaf with entreating me. What would you have more? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 If, indeed, this could be brought about---- 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 If, indeed? You shall know it by experience. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Well, well, disclose this project of yours. What is it? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 We will pretend that your mistress is his (pointing to CLINIA). 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Very fine! Tell me, what is he to do with his own? Is she, too, to be
 called his, as if one was not a sufficient discredit? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 No--she shall be taken to your mother. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Why there? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 It would be tedious, Clitipho, if I were to tell you why I do so; I have
 a good reason. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Stuff! I see no grounds sufficiently solid why it should be for my
 advantage to incur this risk. 
 
 Turning as if going. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Stay; if there is this risk, I have another project, which you must both
 confess to be free from danger. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Find out something of that description, I beseech you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 By all means; I'll go meet her, and tell her to return home. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Ha! what was it you said? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I'll rid you at once of all fears, so that you may sleep at your ease
 upon either ear. 
 
 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What am I to do now? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 What are you to do? The goods that---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Only tell me the truth, Syrus. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Dispatch quickly; you'll be wishing just now too late and in vain.
 Going. 
 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 The Gods provide, enjoy while yet you may; for you know not---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 calling. Syrus, I say! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 moving on. Go on; I shall still do that which 1
 said. 
 
 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Whether you may have another opportunity hereafter or ever again. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I'faith, that's true. Calling. Syrus, Syrus, I say,
 harkye, harkye, Syrus! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. He warms a little. To CLITIPHO. 
 What is it you want? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Come back, come back. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 coming back to him. Hero I am; tell me what you would
 have. You'll be presently saying that this, too, doesn't please you. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Nay, Syrus, I commit myself, and my love, and my reputation entirely to
 you: you are the seducer; take care you don't deserve any blame. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 It is ridiculous for you to give me that caution, Clitipho, as if my
 interest was less at stake in this affair than yours. Here, if any ill
 luck should perchance befall us, words will be in readiness for you, but
 for this individual blows pointing to himself . For that
 reason, this matter is by no means to be neglected on my part: but do
 prevail upon him pointing to CLINIA to pretend that she
 is his own mistress. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 You may rest assured I'll do so. The matter has now come to that pass,
 that it is a case of necessity. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 'Tis with good reason that I love you, Clinia. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 But she mustn't be tripping at all. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 She is thoroughly tutored in her part. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 But this I wonder at, how you could so easily prevail upon her, who is
 wont to treat such great peoplel 
 with
 scorn. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I came to her at the proper moment, which in all things is of the first
 importance: for there I found a certain wretched captain soliciting her
 favors: she artfully managed the man, so as to inflame his eager
 passions by denial; and this, too, that it might be especially pleasing
 to yourself. But hark you, take care, will you, not to be imprudently
 impetuous. You know your father, how quick-sighted he is in these
 matters; and I know you, how unable you are to command yourself. Keep
 clear of words of double meaning, 
 your
 sidelong looks, sighing, hemming, coughing, tittering. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 You shall have to commend me. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Take care of that, please. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 You yourself shall be surprised at me. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But how quickly the ladies have come up with us! 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Where are they? SYRUS stands before him. Why do you hold
 me back? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 For the present she is nothing to you. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I know it, before my father; but now in the mean time---- 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Not a bit the more. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Do let me. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I will not let you, I tell you. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 But only for a moment, pray. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I forbid it. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Only to salute her. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 If you are wise, get you gone. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I'm off. But what's he to do? Pointing at CLINIA. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 He will stay here. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 O happy man! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Take yourself off. (Exit CLITIPHO.)

Enter BACCHIS and ANTIPHILA at a distance. 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Upon my word, my dear Antiphila, I commend you, and think you fortunate
 in having made it your study that your manners should be conformable to
 those good looks of yours: and so may the Gods bless me, I do not at all
 wonder if every man is in love with you. For your discourse has been a
 proof to me what kind of disposition you possess. And when now I reflect
 in my mind upon your way of life, and that of all of you, in fact, who
 keep the public at a distance from yourselves, it is not surprising both
 that you are of that disposition, and that we are not; for it is your
 interest to be virtuous; those, with whom we are acquainted, will not
 allow us to be so. For our lovers, allured merely by our beauty, court
 us for that; when that has faded, they transfer their affections
 elsewhere; and unless we have made provision in the mean time for the
 future, we live in destitution. Now with you, when you have once
 resolved to pass your life with one man whose manners are especially
 kindred to your own, those persons 
 become attached to you. By
 this kindly feeling, you are truly devoted to each other; and no
 calamity can ever possibly interrupt your love. 
 
 
 ANTIPHILA 
 I know nothing about other women: I'm sure that I have, indeed, always
 used every endeavor to derive my own happiness from his happiness. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart, overhearing ANTIPHILA. Ah! 'tis for that reason,
 my Antiphila, that you alone have now caused me to return to my native
 country; for while I was absent from you, all other hardships which I
 encountered were light to me, save the being deprived of you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 apart. I believe it. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart. Syrus, I can scarce endure it! 
 Wretch that I am, that I should not be allowed to
 possess one of such a disposition at my own discretion! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Nay, so far as I understand your father, he will for a long time yet be
 giving you a hard task. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Why, who is that young man that's looking at us? 
 
 
 ANTIPHILA 
 
 seeing CLINIA. Ah! do support me, I entreat you! 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Prithee, what is the matter with you? 
 
 
 ANTIPHILA 
 I shall die, alas! I shall die! 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Why are you thus surprised, Antiphila? 
 
 
 ANTIPHILA 
 Is it Clinia that I see, or not? 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Whom do you see? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 running to embrace ANTIPHILA. Blessings on you, my
 life! 
 
 
 ANTIPHILA 
 Oh my long-wished for Clinia, blessings on you! 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 How fare you, my love? 
 
 
 ANTIPHILA 
 I'm overjoyed that you have returned safe. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 And do I embrace you, Antiphila, so passionately longed for by my
 soul? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Go in-doors; for the old gentleman has been waiting for us some time.
 They go into the house of CHREMES.

Enter CHREMES from his house. 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 to himself. It is now daybreak. 
 
 Why do I delay to knock at my neighbor's door, that he may learn from me
 the first that his son has returned? Although I am aware that the youth
 would not prefer this. But when I see him tormenting himself so
 miserably about his absence, can I conceal a joy so unhoped for,
 especially when there can be no danger to him from the discovery? I will
 not do so; but as far as I can I will assist the old man. As I see my
 son aiding his friend and year's-mate, and acting as his confidant in
 his concerns, it is but right that we old men as well should assist each
 other. Enter MENEDEMUS from his house. 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 
 to himself Assuredly I was either born with a disposition
 peculiarly suited for misery, or else that saying which I hear commonly
 repeated, that "time assuages human sorrow," is false. For really my
 sorrow about my son increases daily; and the longer he is away from me,
 the more anxiously do I wish for him, and the more I miss him. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 apart. But I see him coming out of his house; I'll go
 speak to him. Aloud. Menedemus, good-morrow; I bring you
 news, which you would especially desire to be imparted. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Pray, have you heard any thing about my son, Chremes? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 He's alive, and well. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Why, where is he, pray? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Here, at my house, at home. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 My son? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Such is the fact. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Come home? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Certainly. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 My son, Clinia, come home? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I say so. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Let us go. Lead me to him, I beg of you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 He does not wish you yet to know of his return, and he shuns your
 presence; he's afraid that, on account of that fault, your former
 severity may even be increased. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Did you not tell him how I was affected? 
 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 No---- 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 For what reason, Chremes? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Because there you would judge extremely ill both for yourself and for
 him, if you were to show yourself of a spirit so weak and
 irresolute. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I can not help it: enough already, enough, have I proved a rigorous
 father. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Ah Menedemus! you are too precipitate in either extreme, either with
 profuseness or with parsimony too great. Into the same error will you
 fall from the one side as from the other. In the first place, formerly,
 rather than allow your son to visit a young woman, who was then content
 with a very little, and to whom any thing was acceptable, you frightened
 him away from here. After that, she began, quite against her
 inclination, to seek a subsistence upon the town. Now, when she can not
 be supported without a great expense, you are ready to give any thing.
 For, that you may know how perfectly she is trained to extravagance, in
 the first place, she has already brought with her more than ten female
 attendants, all laden with clothes and jewels of gold; if a
 satrap 
 had been her admirer, he never could support
 her expenses, much less can you. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Is she at your house ? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Is she, do you ask? I have felt it; for 1 have given her and her retinue
 one dinner; had I to give them another such, it would be all over with
 me; for, to pass by other matters, what a quantity of wine she did
 consume for me in tasting only, 
 saying thus, "This wine is too acid, 
 respected
 sir, 
 do please look for
 something more mellow." I opened all the casks, all the
 vessels 
 ; she kept all on the stir: and this but a single
 night. What do you suppose will become of you when they are constantly
 preying upon you? So may the Gods prosper me, Menedemus, I do pity your
 lot. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Let him do what he will; let him take, waste, and squander; I'm
 determined to endure it, so long as I only have him with me. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 If it is your determination thus to act, I hold it to be of very great
 foment that he should not be aware that with a full knowledge you grant
 him this. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What shall I do ? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Any thing, rather than what you are thinking of; supply him with money
 through some other person; suffer yourself to be imposed upon by the
 artifices of his servant: although I have smelt out this too, that they
 are about that, and are secretly planning it among them. Syrus is always
 whispering with that servant of yours; 
 they impart their plans to the
 young men; and it were better for you to lose a talent this way, than a
 mina the other. The money is not the question now, but this--in what way
 we can supply it to the young man with the least danger. For if he once
 knows the state of your feelings, that you would sooner part with your
 life, and sooner with all your money, than allow your son to leave you;
 whew ! what an inlet 
 will you be opening for
 his debauchery! aye, and so much so, that henceforth to live can not be
 desirable to you. For we all become worse through indulgence. Whatever
 comes into his head, he'll be wishing for; nor will he reflect whether
 that which he desires is right or wrong. You will not be able to endure
 your estate and him going to ruin. You will refuse to supply him: he
 will immediately have recourse to the means by which he finds that he
 has the greatest hold upon you, and threaten that he will immediately
 leave you. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 You seem to speak the truth, and just what is the fact. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'faith, I have not been sensible of sleep this night with my
 eyes, 
 for thinking of this--how to restore your son to you.
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 
 taking his hand. Give me your right hand. I request that
 you will still act in a like manner, Chremes. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I am ready to serve you. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Do you know what it is I now want you to do? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Tell me. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 As you have perceived that they are laying a plan to deceive me, that
 they may hasten to complete it. I long to give him whatever he wants: I
 am now longing to behold him. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll lend my endeavors. This little business is in my way. Our neighbors
 Simus and Crito are disputing here about boundaries; they have chosen me
 for arbitrator. I'll go and tell them that I can not possibly give them
 my attention to-day as I had stated I would. I'll be here immediately.
 (Exit.) 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Pray do. To himself. Ye Gods, by our trust in you! That
 the nature of all men should be so constituted, that they can see and
 judge of other men's affairs better than their own! Is it because in our
 own concerns we are biased either with joy or grief in too great a
 degree How much wiser now is he for me, than I have been for myself!
 Re-enter CHREMES. 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I have disengaged myself, that I might lend you my services at my
 leisure. Syrus must be found and instructed by me in this business. Some
 one, I know not who, is coming out of my house: do you step hence home,
 that they may not perceive 
 that we are conferring together.
 MENEDEMUS goes into his house.

Enter SYRUS from the house of CHREMES. 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aloud to himself. Run to and fro in every direction;
 still, money, you must be found: a trap must be laid for the old man.
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 apart, overhearing him. Was I deceived in saying that
 they were planning this? That servant of Clinia's is somewhat dull;
 therefore that province has been assigned to this one of ours. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 in a low voice. Who's that speaking? Catches sight
 of CGREMES. I'm undone! Did he hear it, I wonder? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Syrus. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Well---- 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What are you doing here ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 All right. Really, I am quite surprised at you, Chremes, up so early,
 after drinking so much yesterday. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Not too much. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Not too much, say you? Really, you've seen the old age of an
 eagle, 
 as the saying is. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Pooh, pooh! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 A pleasant and agreeable woman this Courtesan. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Why, so she seemed to me, in fact. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 And really of handsome appearance. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Well enough. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Not like those of former days, 
 but as times are now, very passable: nor do I in the
 least wonder that Clinia doats upon her. But he has a father--a certain
 covetous, miserable, and niggardly person--this neighbor of ours
 pointing to the house . Do you know him ? Yet, as if
 he was not abounding in wealth, his son ran away through want. Are you
 aware that it is the fact, as I am saying ? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 How should I not be aware? A fellow that deserves the mill. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Who? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 That servant of the young gentleman, I mean. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. Syrus! I was sadly afraid for you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 To suffer it to come to this! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What was he to do? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Do you ask the question? He ought to have found some expedient,
 contrived some stratagem, by means of which there might have been
 something for the young man to give to his mistress, and thus have saved
 this crabbed old fellow in spite of himself. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 You are surely joking. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 This ought to have been done by him, Syrus. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 How now--pray, do you commend servants, who deceive their masters? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Upon occasion--I certainly do commend them. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Quite right. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Inasmuch as it often is the remedy for great disturbances. Then would
 this man's only son have staid at home. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. Whether he says this in jest or in earnest, I
 don't know; only, in fact, that he gives me additional zest for longing
 still more to trick him. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 And what is he now waiting for, Syrus? Is it until his father drives him
 away from here a second time, when he can no longer support her
 expenses? 
 Has he
 no plot on foot against the old gentleman? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 He is a stupid fellow. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Then you ought to assist him--for the sake of the young man. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 For my part, I can do so easily, if you command me; for I know well in
 what fashion it is usually done. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 So much the better, i' faith. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 'Tis not my way to tell an untruth. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Do it then. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But hark you! Just take care and remember this, in case any thing of
 this sort should perchance happen at a future time, such are human
 affairs!--your son might do the same. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 The necessity will not arise, I trust. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I' faith, and I trust so too: nor do I say so now, because I have
 suspected him in any way; but in case, none the more 
 ----You see what his age is;
 aside and truly, Chremes, 
 if an occasion does happen, I may
 be able to handle you right handsomely. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 As to that, we'll consider what is requisite when the occasion does
 happen. At present do you set about this matter. Goes into his
 house. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 to himself. Never on any occasion did I hear my master
 talk more to the purpose; nor at any time could I believe that I was
 authorized to play the rogue with greater impunity. I wonder who it is
 coming out of our house? Stands aside.

Enter CHREMES and CLITIPHO from the house of the former. 
 
 CHREMES 
 Pray, what does this mean? What behavior is this, Clitipho? Is this
 acting as becomes you? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What have I done; 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Did I not see you just now putting your hand into this Courtesan's bosom
 ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 apart. It's all up with us--I'm utterly undone! 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What, I? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 With these self-same eyes I saw it----don't deny it. Besides, you wrong
 him unworthily in not keeping your hands off: for indeed it is a gross
 affront to entertain a person, your friend, at your house, and to take
 liberties with his mistress. Yesterday, for instance, at wine, how rude
 you were---- 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 apart. 'Tis the truth 
 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 How annoying you were So much so, that for my part, as the Gods may
 prosper me, I dreaded what in the end might be the consequence. I
 understand lovers. They resent highly things that you would not
 imagine. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 But he has full confidence in me, father, that I would not do any thing
 of that kind. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Be it so; still, at least, you ought to go somewhere for a little time
 away from their presence. Passion prompts to many a thing; your presence
 acts as a restraint upon doing them. I form a judgment from myself.
 There's not one of my friends this day to whom I would venture,
 Clitipho, to disclose all my secrets. With one, his station forbids it;
 with another, I am ashamed of the action itself, lest I may appear a
 fool or devoid of shame; do you rest assured that he does the
 same. 
 But
 it is our part to be sensible of this; and, when and where it is
 requisite, to show due complaisance. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 coming forward and whispering to CLITIPHO. What is it he
 is saying ? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 aside, to SYRUS. I'm utterly undone! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Clitipho, these same injunctions I gave you. You have acted the part of
 a prudent and discreet person. 
 
 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Hold your tongue, I beg. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Very good. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 approaching them. Syrus, I am ashamed of him. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I believe it; and not without reason. Why, he vexes myself even. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 to SYRUS. Do you persist, then ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I' faith, I'm saying the truth, as it appears to me. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 May I not go near them? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 How now--pray, is there but one way 
 of going near them
 ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. Confusion! He'll be betraying himself before I've
 got the money. Aloud. Chremes, will you give attention to
 me, who am but a silly person? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What am I to do? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Bid him go somewhere out of the way. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Where am I to go ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Where you please; leave the place to them; be off and take a walk. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Take a walk! where ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Pshaw! Just as if there was no place to walk in. Why, then, go this way,
 that way, where you will. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 He says right, I'm of his opinion. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 May the Gods extirpate you, Syrus, for thrusting me away from here. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside to CLITIPHO. Then do you for the future keep those
 hands of yours within bounds. Exit CLITIPHO. Really now
 to CHREMES , what do you think? What do you imagine
 will become of him next, unless, so far as the Gods afford you the
 means, you watch him, correct and admonish him ? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll take care of that. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But now, master, he must be looked after by you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 It shall be done. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 If you are wise,--for now he minds me less and less every day. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What say you? What have you done, Syrus, about that matter which I was
 mentioning to you a short time since? Have you any plan that suits you,
 or not yet even ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 You mean the design upon Menedemus? I have; I have just hit upon
 one. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 You are a clever fellow; what is it? Tell me. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I'll tell you; but, as one matter arises out of another---- 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Why, what. is it, Syrus? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 This Courtesan is a very bad woman. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 So she seems. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Aye, if you did but know. O shocking! just see what she is hatching.
 There was a certain old woman here from Corinth ,--this Bacchis lent her a thousand silver
 drachmae. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What then? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 She is now dead: she has left a daughter, a young girl. She has been
 left with this Bacchis as a pledge for that sum. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I understand you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 She has brought her hither along with her, her I mean who is now with
 your wife. 
 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What then ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 She is soliciting Clinia at once to advance her this money; she says,
 however, that this girl is to be a security, that, at a future time, she
 will repay the thousand pieces of money. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 And would she really be a security ? 
 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Dear me, is it to be doubted ? I think so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What then do you intend doing? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What, I? I shall go to Menedemus; I'll tell him she is a captive from
 Caria , rich, and of noble
 family; if he redeems her, there will be a considerable profit in this
 transaction. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 You are in an error. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Why so ? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll now answer you for Menedemus--I will not purchase her. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What is it you say? Do speak more agreeably to our wishes. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 But there is no occasion. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 No occasion? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Certainly not, i' faith. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 How so, I wonder? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 You shall soon know. 
 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Stop, stop; what is the reason that there is such a great noise at our
 door ? They retire out of sight.

Enter SOSTRATA and a NURSE in haste from the house of CHREMES, and CHREMES
 and SYRUS on the other side of the stage unperceived. 
 Sos. holding up a ring and examining it. Unless my fancy
 deceives me, surely this is the ring which I suspect it to be, the same with
 which my daughter was exposed. 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 apart. Syrus, what is the meaning of these expressions
 ? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Nurse, how is it? Does it not seem to you the same? 
 
 
 NUR. 
 As for me, I said it was the same the very instant that you showed it
 me. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 But have you now examined it thoroughly, my dear nurse? 
 
 
 NUR. 
 Thoroughly. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Then go in-doors at once, and if she has now done bathing, bring me
 word. I'll wait here in the mean time for my husband. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 apart. She wants you, see what it is she wants; she is in
 a serious mood, I don't know why; it is not without a cause----I fear
 what it may be. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What it may be? I' faith, she'll now surely be announcing some important
 trifle, with a great parade. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 
 turning round. Ha! my husband! 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Ha! my wife ! 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 I was looking for you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Tell me what you want. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 In the first place, this I beg of you, not to believe that I have
 ventured to do any thing contrary to your commands. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Would you have me believe you in this, although so incredible? Well, I
 will believe you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. This excuse portends I know not what offense. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Do you remember me being pregnant, and yourself declaring to me, most
 peremptorily, that if I should bring forth a girl, you would not have it
 brought up. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I know what you have done, you have brought it up. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. Such is the fact, I'm sure: my young master has
 gained a loss 
 in consequence. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Not at all; but there was here an elderly woman of Corinth , of no indifferent character;
 to her I gave it to be exposed. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 O Jupiter ! that there should be
 such extreme folly in a person's mind. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Alas! what have I done ? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 And do you ask the question? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 If I have acted wrong, my dear Chremes, I have done so in ignorance. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 This, indeed, I know for certain, even if you were to deny it, that in
 every thing you both speak and act ignorantly and foolishly: how many
 blunders you disclose in this single affair! For, in the first place,
 then, if you had been disposed to obey my orders, the child ought to
 have been dispatched; you ought not in words to have feigned her death,
 and in reality to have left hopes of her surviving. But that I pass
 over; compassion, maternal affection, I allow it. But how finely you did
 provide for the future! What was your meaning ? Do reflect. It's clear,
 beyond a doubt, that your daughter was betrayed by you to this old
 woman, either that through you she might make a living by her, or that
 she might be sold in open market as a slave. I suppose you reasoned
 thus: " any thing is enough, if only her life is saved :" what are you
 to do with those who understand neither law, nor right and justice? Be
 it for better or for worse, be it for them or against them, they see
 nothing except just what they please. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 My dear Chremes, I have done wrong, I own ; I am convinced. Now this I
 beg of you; inasmuch as you are more advanced in years than I, be so
 much the more ready to forgive; so that your justice may be some
 protection for my weakness. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll readily forgive you doing this, of course; but, Sostrata, my easy
 temper prompts you to do amiss. But, whatever this circumstance is, by
 reason of which this was begun upon, proceed to tell it. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 As we women are all foolishly and wretchedly superstitious, when I
 delivered the child to her to be exposed, I drew a ring from off my
 finger, and ordered her to expose it, together with the child; that if
 she should die, she might not be without some portion of our possessions. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 That was right; thereby you proved the saving of yourself and
 her. 
 
 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 
 holding out the ring. This is that ring. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Whence did you get it? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 From the young woman whom Bacchis brought here with her. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. Ha! 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What does she say? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 She gave it me to keep for her, while she went to bathe. At first I paid
 no attention to it; but after I looked at it, I at once recognized it,
 and came running to you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What do you suspect now, or have you discovered, relative to her ? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 I don't know; unless you inquire of herself whence she got it, if that
 can possibly be discovered. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. I'm undone! I see more hopes 
 from this incident
 than I desire. If it is so, she certainly must be ours. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Is this woman living to whom you delivered the child? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 I don't know. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What account did she bring you at the time? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 That she had done as I had ordered her. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Tell me what is the woman's name, that she may be inquired after. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Philtere. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside. 'Tis the very same. It's a wonder if she isn't
 found, and I lost. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Sostrata, follow me this way in-doors. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 How much beyond my hopes has this matter turned out! How dreadfully
 afraid I was, Chremes, that you would now be of feelings as unrelenting
 as formerly you were on exposing the child. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Many a time a man can not be 
 such as he would be,
 if circumstances do not admit of it. Time has now so brought it about,
 that I should be glad of a daughter; formerly I wished for nothing less.
 CHREMES and SOSTRATA go into the house.)

SYRUS alone. 
 
 SYRUS 
 Unless my fancy deceives me, 
 retribution 
 will not be very far off from me; so much by this
 incident are my forces now utterly driven into straits; unless I
 contrive by some means that the old man mayn't come to know that this
 damsel is his son's mistress. For as to entertaining any hopes about the
 money, or supposing I could cajole him, it's useless; I shall be
 sufficient triumphant, if I'm allowed to escape with my sides
 covered. 
 I'm vexed that such a tempting morsel has been so
 suddenly snatched away from my jaws. What am I to do? Or what shall I
 devise? I must begin upon my plan over again. Nothing is so difficult,
 but that it may be found out by seeking. What now if I set about it
 after this fashion. He considers. That's of no use. What,
 if after this fashion? I effect just about the same. But this I think
 will do. It can not. Yes! excellent. Bravo! I've found out the best of
 all--I' faith, I do believe that after all I shall lay hold of this same
 run-away money.

Enter CLINIA at the other side of the stage. 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 to himself. Nothing can possibly henceforth befall me of
 such consequence as to cause me uneasiness; so extreme is this joy that
 has surprised me. Now then I shall give myself up entirely to my father,
 to be more frugal than even he could wish. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 apart. I wasn't mistaken; she has been discovered, so far
 as I understand from these words of his. Acvancing. I am
 rejoiced that this matter has turned out for you so much to your
 wish. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 O my dear Syrus, have you heard of it, pray? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 How shouldn't I, when I was present all the while ? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Did you ever hear of any thing falling out so fortunately for any
 one? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Never. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 And, so may the Gods prosper me, I do not now rejoice so much on my own
 account as hers, whom I know to be deserving of any honor. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I believe it: but now, Clinia, come, attend to me in my turn. For your
 friend's business as well,--it must be seen to--that it is placed in a
 state of security, lest the old gentleman should now come to know any
 thing about his mistress. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 O Jupiter ! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Do be quiet. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 My Antiphila will be mine. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Do you still interrupt me thus ? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 What can I do? My dear Syrus, I'm transported with joy! Do bear with
 me. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I' faith, I really do bear with you. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 We are blest with the life of the Gods. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I'm taking pains to no purpose, I doubt. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Speak; I hear you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But still you'll not mind it. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 I will. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 This must be seen to, I say, that your friend's business as well is
 placed in a state of security. For if you now go away from us, and leave
 Bacchis here, our old man will immediately come to know that she is
 Clitipho's mistress; if you take her away with you, it will be concealed
 just as much as it has been hitherto concealed. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 But still, Syrus, nothing can make more against my marriage than this;
 for with what face am I to address my father about it? You understand
 what I mean ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Why not ? 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 What can I say? What excuse can I make? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Nay, I don't want you to dissemble; tell him the whole case just as it
 really is. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 What is it you say ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I bid you do this; tell him that you are in love with her, and want her
 for a wife: that this Bacchis is Clitipho's mistress. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 You require a thing that is fair and reasonable, and easy to be done.
 And I suppose, then, you would have me request my father to keep it a
 secret from your old man. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 On the contrary; to tell him directly the matter just as it is. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 What? Are you quite in your senses or sober? Why, you were for ruining
 him outright. For how could he be in a state of security ? Tell me
 that. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 For my part, I yield the palm to this device. Here I do pride myself
 exultingly, in having in myself such exquisite resources, and power of
 address so great, as to deceive them both by telling the truth: so that
 when your old man tells ours that she is his son's mistress, he'll still
 not believe him. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 But yet, by these means you again cut off all hopes of my marriage; for
 as long as Chremes believes that she is my mistress, he'll not give me
 his daughter. Perhaps you care little what becomes of me, so long as you
 provide for him. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What the plague, do you suppose I want this pretense to be kept up for
 an age ? 'Tis but for a single day, only till I have secured the money:
 you be quiet; I ask no more. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Is that sufficient? If his father should come to know of it, pray, what
 then? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What if I have recourse to those who say, " What now if the sky were to
 fall?" 
 
 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 I'm afraid to go about it. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 You, afraid! As if it was not in your power to clear yourself at any
 time you like, and discover the whole matter. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 Well, well; let Bacchis be brought over to our house. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Capital! she is coming out of doors.

Enter BACCHIS and PHRYGIA, from
 the house of CHREMES. 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 
 pretending not to see CLINIA and SYRUS. To a very fine
 purpose, 
 upon my faith, have the
 promises of Syrus brought me hither, who agreed to lend me ten minae. If
 now he deceives me, oft as he may entreat me to come, he shall come in
 vain. Or else, when I've promised to come, and fixed the time, when he
 has carried word back for certain, and Clitipho is on the stretch of
 expectation, I'll disappoint him and not come. Syrus will make atonement
 to me with his back. 
 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 apart, to SYRUS. She promises you very fairly. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 to CLINIA. But do you think she is in jest? She'll do it,
 if I don't take care. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 
 aside. They're asleep 
 --I'faith, I'll rouse them.
 Aloud. My dear Phrygia, did you hear about the country-seat of
 Charinus, which that man was showing us just now ? 
 
 
 PHRYGIA 
 I heard of it. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 
 aloud. That it was the next to the farm here on the
 right-hand side. 
 
 
 
 
 PHRYGIA 
 I remember. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 
 aloud. Run thither post-haste; the Captain is keeping the
 feast of Bacchus 
 
 at his house. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 apart. What is she going to be at? 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 
 aloud. Tell him I am here very much against my
 inclination, and am detained; but that by some means or other I'll give
 them the slip and come to him. PHRYGIA moves. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 coming forward. Upon my faith, I'm ruined! Bacchis, stay,
 stay; prithee, where are you sending her ? Order her to stop. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 
 to PHRYGIA. Be off. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Why, the money's ready. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Why, then I'll stay. PHRYGIA returns. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 And it will be given you presently. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Just when you please; do I press you ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But do you know what you are to do, pray? 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 What ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 You must now go over to the house of Menedemus, and your equipage must
 be taken over thither. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 What scheme are you upon, you rascal? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What, I ? Coining money to give you. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Do you think me a proper person for you to play upon ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 It's not without a purpose. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 
 pointing to the house. Why, have I any business then with
 you here? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 O no; I'm only going to give you what's your own. 
 
 
 BACCHIS. 
 Then let's be going. 
 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Follow this way. Goes to the door of MENEDIEMUS, and
 calls. Ho there! Dromo. Enter DROMO from the
 house. 
 
 
 
 DROMO 
 Who is it wants me ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Syrus. 
 
 
 DROMO 
 What's the matter? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Take over all the attendants of Bacchis to your house here
 immediately. 
 
 
 DROMO 
 Why so? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Ask no questions. Let them take what they brought here with them. The
 old gentleman will hope his expenses are lightened by their departure;
 for sure he little knows how much loss this trifling gain will bring
 him. You, Dromo, if you are wise, know nothing of what you do know. 
 
 
 DROMO 
 You shall own that I'm dumb. CLINIA, BACCHIS, and PHRYGIA go into
 the house of MENEDEMUS, and DROMO follows with BACCHIS'S retinue and
 baggage.

Enter CHREMES from his house. 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 to himself So may the Deities prosper me, I am now
 concerned for the fate of Menedemus, that so great a misfortune should
 have befallen him. To be maintaining that woman with such a retinue!
 Although I am well aware he'll not be sensible of it for some days to
 come, his son was so greatly missed by him; but when he sees such a vast
 expense incurred by him every day at home, and no limit to it, he'll
 wish that this son would leave him a second time. See--here comes Syrus
 most opportunely. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 to himself, as he comes forward. Why delay to accost
 him? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Syrus. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Well. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 How go matters ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I've been wishing for some time for you to be thrown in my way. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 YOU seem, then, to have effected something, I know not what, with the
 old gentleman. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 As to what we were talking of a short time since? No sooner said than
 done. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 In real earnest ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 In real. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Upon my faith, I can not forbear patting your head for it. Come here,
 Syrus; I'll do you some good turn for this matter, and with pleasure.
 Patting his head. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But if you knew how cleverly it came into my head---- 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Pshaw! Do you boast because it has turned out according to your
 wishes 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 On my word, not I, indeed; I am telling the truth. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Tell me how it is. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Clinia has told Menedemus, that this Bacchis is your Clitipho's
 mistress, and that he has taken her thither with him in order that you
 might not come to know of it. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Very good. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Tell me, please, what you think of it. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Extremely good, I declare. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Why yes, pretty fair. But listen, what a piece of policy still remains.
 He is then to say that he has seen your daughter--that her beauty
 charmed him as soon as he beheld her; and that he desires her for a
 wife. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What, her that has just been discovered ? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 The same; and, in fact, he'll request that she may be asked for. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 For what purpose, Syrus? For I don't altogether comprehend it. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 O dear, you are so dull. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Perhaps so. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Money will be given him for the wedding--with which golden trinkets and
 clothes----do you understand me? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 To buy them----? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Just so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 But I neither give nor betroth my daughter to him. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But why? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Why, do you ask me? To a fellow---- 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Just as you please. I don't mean that in reality you should give her to
 him, but that you should pretend it. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Pretending is not in my way; do you mix up these plots of yours, so as
 not to mix me up in them. Do you think that I'll betroth my daughter to
 a person to whom I will not marry her? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I imagined so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 By no means. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 It might have been cleverly managed; and I under-took this affair for
 the very reason, that a short time since you so urgently requested
 it. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I believe you. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But for my part, Chremes, I take it well and good, either way. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 But still, I especially wish you to do your best for it to be brought
 about; but in some other way. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 It shall be done: some other method must be thought of; but as to what I
 was telling you of,--about the money which she owes to Bacchis,--that
 must now be repaid her. And you will not, of course, now be having
 recourse to this method; "What have I to do with it? Was it lent to me?
 Did I give any orders? Had she the power to pawn my daughter without my
 consent?" They quote that saying, Chremes, with good reason, " Riorous
 law 
 is often rigorous injustice." 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I will not do so. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 On the contrary, though others were at liberty, you are not at liberty;
 all think that you are in good and very easy circumstances. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Nay rather, I'll at once carry it to her myself. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Why no; request your son in preference. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 For what reason? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Why, because the suspicion of being in love with her has been
 transferred to him with Menedemus. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What then? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Because it will seem to be more like probability when he gives it her;
 and at the same time I shall effect more easily what I wish. Here he
 comes too; go, and bring out the money. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll bring it. Goes into his house.

Enter CLITIPHO. 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 to himself. There is nothing so easy but that it becomes
 difficult when you do it with reluctance. As this walk of mine, for
 instance, though not fatiguing, it has reduced me to weariness. And now
 I dread nothing more than that I should be packed off somewhere hence
 once again, that I may not have access to Bacchis. May then all the Gods
 and Goddesses, as many as exist, confound you, Syrus, with these
 stratagems and plots of yours. You are always devising something of this
 kind, by means of which to torture me. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Will you not away with you--to where you deserve? How nearly had your
 forwardness proved my ruin! 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Upon my faith, I wish it had been so; just what you deserve. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Deserve? How so? Really, I'm glad that I've heard this from you before
 you had the money which I was just going to give you. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What then would you have me to say to you? You've made a fool of me;
 brought my mistress hither, whom I'm not allowed to touch---- 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Well, I'm not angry then. But do you know where Bacchis is just now? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 At our house. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 No. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Where then? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 At Clinia's. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I'm ruined! 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Be of good heart; you shall presently carry to her the money that you
 promised her. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 You do prate away.--Where from? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 From your own father. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Perhaps you are joking with me. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 The thing itself will prove it. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Indeed, then, I am a lucky man. Syrus, I do love you from my heart. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But your father's coming out. Take care not to express surprise at any
 thing, for what reason it is done; give way at the proper moment; do
 what he orders, and say but little.

Enter CHREMES from the house, with a bag of money. 
 
 CHREMES 
 Where's Clitipho now? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside to CLITIPHO. Say--here I am. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Here am I. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 to SYRUS. Have you told him how it is? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I've told him pretty well every thing. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Take this money, and carry it. Holding out the bag. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 aside to CLITIPHO. Go--why do you stand still, you stone;
 why don't you take it? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Very well, give it me. Receives the bag. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 to CLITIPHO. Follow me this way directly. To
 CHREMES. You in the mean while will wait here for us till we
 return; for there's no occasion for us to stay there long.
 CLITIPHO and SYRUS go into the house of
 MENEDEMUS. 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 to himself. My daughter, in fact, has now had ten minae
 from me, which I consider as paid for her board; another ten will follow
 these for clothes; and then she will require two talents for her
 portion. How many things, both just and unjust, are sanctioned by
 custom! 
 Now I'm obliged,
 neglecting my business, to look out for some one on whom to bestow my
 property, that has been acquired by my labor.

Enter MENEDEMUS from his house. 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 
 to CLINIA within. My son, I now think myself the happiest
 of all men, since I find that you have returned to a rational mode of
 life. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 aside. How much he is mistaken! 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Chremes, you are the very person I wanted; preserve, so far as in you
 lies, my son, myself, and my family. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Tell me what you would have me do. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 You have this day found a daughter. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What then? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Clinia wishes her to be given him for a wife. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Prithee, what kind of a person are you? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Why? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Have you already forgotten what passed between us, concerning a scheme,
 that by that method some money might be got out of you? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I remember. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 That self-same thing they are now about. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What do you tell me, Chremes? Why surely, this Courtesan, who is at my
 house, is Clitipho's mistress. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 So they say, and you believe it all; and they say that he is desirous of
 a wife, in order that, when I have betrothed her, you may give him
 money, with which to provide gold trinkets and clothing, and other
 things that are requisite. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 That is it, no doubt; that money will be given to his mistress. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Of course it is to be given. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Alas! in vain then, unhappy man, have I been overjoyed; still however, I
 had rather any thing than be deprived of him. What answer now shall I
 report from you, Chremes, so that he may not perceive that I have found
 it out, and take it to heart? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 To heart, indeed! you are too indulgent to him, Menedemus. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Let me go on; I have now begun: assist me in this throughout,
 Chremes. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Say then, that you have seen me, and have treated about the
 marriage. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I'll say so--what then? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 That I will do every thing; that as a son-in-law he meets my
 approbation; in fine, too, if you like, tell him also that she has been
 promised him. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Well, that's what I wanted---- 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 That he may the sooner ask of you, and you may as soon as possible give
 him what you wish. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 It is my wish. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Assuredly, before very long, according as I view this matter, you'll
 have enough of him. But, however that may be, if you are wise, you'll
 give to him cautiously, and a little at a time. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I'll do so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Go in-doors and see how much he requires. I shall be at home, if you
 should want me for any thing. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I certainly do want you; for I shall let you know whatever I do.
 They go into their respective houses.

Enter MENEDEMUS from his house. 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 
 to himself. I am quite aware that I am not so overwise,
 or so very quick-sighted; but this assistant, prompter, and
 director 
 of mine,
 Chremes, outdoes me in that. Any one of those epithets which are applied
 to a fool is suited to myself, such as dolt, post, ass, 
 lump of lead;
 to him not one can apply; his stupidity surpasses them all. Enter
 CHREMES, speaking to SOSTRATA within. 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Hold now, do, wife, leave off dinning the Gods with thanksgivings that
 your daughter has been discovered; unless you judge of them by your own
 disposition, and think that they understand nothing, unless the same
 thing has been told them a hundred times. But, in the mean time, why
 does my son linger there so long with Syrus? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What persons do you say are lingering? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Ha! Menedemus, you have come opportunely. Tell me, have you told Clinia
 what I said? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Every thing. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What did he say? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 He began to rejoice, just like people do who wish to be married. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 laughing. Ha! ha! ha! 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Why are you laughing? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 The sly tricks of my servant, Syrus, just came into my mind. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Did they? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 The rogue can even mould the countenances of people. 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 That my son is pretending that he is overjoyed, is it that you mean? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Just so. Laughing. 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 The very same thing came into my mind. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 A crafty knave! 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Still more would you think such to be the fact, if you knew more. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Do you say so? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Do you give attention then? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Just stop--first I want to know this, what money you have squandered;
 for when you told your son that she was promised, of course Dromo would
 at once throw in a word that golden jewels, clothes, and attendants
 would be needed for the bride, in order that you might give the
 money. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 No. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 How, no? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 No, I tell you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Nor yet your son himself? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Not in the slightest, Chremes. He was only the more pressing on this one
 point, that the match might be concluded to-day. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 You say what's surprising. What did my servant Syrus do? Didn't even he
 say any thing? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Nothing at all. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 For what reason, I don't know. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 For my part, I wonder at that, when you know other things so well. But
 this same Syrus has moulded your son, 
 too, to
 such perfection, that there could not be even the slightest suspicion
 that she is Clinia's mistress! 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What do you say? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Not to mention, then, their kissing and embracing; that I count
 nothing. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What more could be done to carry on the cheat? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Pshaw! 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What do you mean? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Only listen. In the inner part of my house there is a certain room at
 the back; into this a bed was brought, and was made up with
 bed-clothes. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What took place after this? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 No sooner said than done, thither went Clitipho. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Alone? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Alone. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'm alarmed. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Bacchis followed directly. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Alone? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Alone. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'm undone! 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 When they had gone into the room, they shut the door. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Well--did Clinia see all this going on? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 How shouldn't he? He was with me. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Bacchis is my son's mistress, Menedemus I'm undone. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Why so? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I have hardly substance to suffice for ten days. 
 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What! are you alarmed at it, because he is paying attention to his
 friend? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 His "she-friend" rather. 
 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 If he really is paying it. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Is it a matter of doubt to you? Do you suppose that there is any person
 of so accommodating and tame a spirit as to suffer his own mistress,
 himself looking on, to---- 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 
 chuckling and speaking ironically. Why not? That I may be
 imposed upon the more easily. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Do you laugh at me? You have good reason. How angry I now am with
 myself! How many things gave proof, whereby, had I not been a stone, I
 might have been fully sensible of this? What was it I saw? Alas! wretch
 that I am! But assuredly they shall not escape my vengeance if I live;
 for this instant---- 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Can you not contain yourself? Have you no respect for yourself? Am I not
 a sufficient example to you? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 For very anger, Menedemus, I am not myself. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 For you to talk in that manner! Is it not a shame for you to be giving
 advice to others, to show wisdom abroad and yet be able to do nothing
 for yourself? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What shall I do? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 That which you said I failed to do: make him sensible that you are his
 father; make him venture to intrust every thing to you, to seek and to
 ask of you; so that he may look for no other resources and forsake
 you. 
 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Nay, I had much rather he would go any where in the world, than by his
 debaucheries here reduce his father to beggary! For if I go on supplying
 his extravagance, Menedemus, in that case my circumstances will
 undoubtedly be soon reduced to the level of your rake. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What evils you will bring upon yourself in this affair, if you don't act
 with caution! You'll show yourself severe, and still pardon him at last;
 that too with an ill grace. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Ah! you don't know how vexed I am. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Just as you please. What about that which I desire--that she may be
 married to my son? Unless there is any other step that you would
 prefer. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 On the contrary, both the son-in-law and the connection are to my
 taste. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What portion shall I say that you have named for your daughter? Why are
 you silent? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Portion? 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I say so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Alas! 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Chremes, don't be at all afraid to speak, if it is but a small one. The
 portion is no consideration at all with us. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I did think that two talents were sufficient, according to my means. But
 if you wish me to be saved, and my estate and my son, you must say to
 this effect, that I have settled all my property on her as her
 portion. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What scheme are you upon? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Pretend that you wonder at this, and at the same time ask him the reason
 why I do so. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Why, really, I can't conceive the reason for your doing so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Why do I do so? To check his feelings, which are now hurried away by
 luxury and wantonness, and to bring him down so as not to know which way
 to turn himself. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What is your design? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Let me alone, and give me leave to have my own way in this matter. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I do give you leave: is this your desire 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 It is so. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Then be it so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 And now let your son prepare to fetch the bride. The other one shall be
 schooled in such language as befits children. But Syrus---- 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 What of him? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What? If I live, I will have him so handsomely dressed, so well combed
 out, that he shall always remember me as long as he lives; to imagine
 that I'm to be a laughing-stock and a plaything for him! So may the Gods
 bless me! he would not have dared to do to a widow-woman the things
 which he has done to me. 
 
 They go into their respective houses.

Enter MENEDEMUS, with CLITIPHO and SYRUS. 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Prithee, is it really the fact, Menedemus, that my father can, in so
 short a space of time, have cast off all the natural affection of a
 parent for me? For what crime? What so great enormity have I, to my
 misfortune, committed? Young men generally do the same. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I am aware that this must be much more harsh and severe to you, on whom
 it falls; but yet I take it no less amiss than you. How it is so I know
 not, nor can I account for it, except that from my heart I wish you
 well. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Did not you say that my father was waiting here? Enter CHREMES
 from his house. 
 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 See, here he is. MENEDEMUS goes into his house. 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Why are you blaming me, Clitipho? Whatever I have done in this matter, I
 had a view to you and your imprudence. When I saw that you were of a
 careless disposition, and held the pleasures of the moment of the first
 importance, and did not look forward to the future, I took measures that
 you might neither want nor be able to waste this which I have. When,
 through your own conduct, it was not allowed me to give it you, to whom
 I ought before all, I had recourse to those who were your nearest
 relations; to them I have made over and intrusted every thing. 
 There you'll always find a
 refuge for your folly; food, clothing, and a roof under which to betake
 yourself. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Ah me! 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 It is better than that, you being my heir, Bacchis should possess this
 estate of mine. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 apart. I'm ruined irrevocably!--Of what mischief have I,
 wretch that I am, unthinkingly been the cause? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Would I were dead! 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Prithee, first learn what it is to live. When you know that, if life
 displeases you, then try the other. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Master, may I be allowed----? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Say on. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 But may I safely? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Say on. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What injustice or what madness is this, that that in which I have
 offended, should be to his detriment? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 It's all over. 
 Don't
 you mix yourself up in it; no one accuses you, Syrus, nor need you look
 out for an altar, 
 or for an intercessor for yourself. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 What is your design? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I am not at all angry either with you, to SYRUS , or with
 you to CLITIPHO ; nor is it fair that you should be so
 with me for what I am doing. He goes into his house. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 He's gone. I wish I had asked him---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What, Syrus? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Where I am to get my subsistence; he has so utterly cast us adrift. You
 are to have it, for the present, at your sister's, I find. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Has it then come to this pass, Syrus--that I am to be in danger even of
 starving? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 So we only live, there's hope---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What hope? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 That we shall be hungry enough. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Do you jest in a matter so serious, and not give me any assistance with
 your advice? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 On the contrary, I'm both now thinking of that, and have been about it
 all the time your father was speaking just now; and so far as I can
 perceive---- 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 It will not be wanting long. He meditates. 
 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What is it, then? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 It is this--I think that you are not their son. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 How's that, Syrus? Are you quite in your senses? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 I'll tell you what's come into my mind; be you the judge. While they had
 you alone, while they had no other source of joy more nearly to affect
 them, they indulged you, they lavished upon you. Now a daughter has been
 found, a pretense has been found in fact on which to turn you
 adrift. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 It's very probable. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Do you suppose that he is so angry on account of this fault? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I do not think so. 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Now consider another thing. All mothers are wont to be advocates for
 their sons when in fault, and to aid them against a father's severity;
 'tis not so here. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 You say true; what then shall I now do, Syrus? 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 Question them on this suspicion; mention the matter without reserve;
 either, if it is not true, you'll soon bring them both to compassion, or
 else you'll soon find out whose son you are. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 You give good advice; I'll do so. He goes into the house of
 CHREMES. 
 
 
 
 SYRUS 
 
 to himself. Most fortunately did this come into my mind.
 For the less hope the young man entertains, the greater the difficulty
 with which he'll bring his father to his own terms. I'm not sure even,
 that he may not take a wife, and then no thanks for Syrus. But what is
 this? The old man's coming out of doors; I'll be off. What has so far
 happened, I am surprised at, that he didn't order me to becarried off
 from here: now I'll away to Menedemus here, I'll secure him as my
 intercessor; I can put no trust in our old man. Goes into the
 house of MENEDEMUS.

Enter CHREMES and SOSTRATA from the house. 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Really, sir, if you don't take care, you'll be causing some mischief to
 your son; and indeed I do wonder at it, my husband, how anything so
 foolish could ever come into your head. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Oh, you persist in being the woman? Did I ever wish for any one thing in
 all my life, Sostrata, but that you were my contradicter on that
 occasion? And yet if I were now to ask you what it is that I have done
 amiss, or why you act thus, you would not know in what point you are now
 so obstinately opposing me in your folly. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 I, not know? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Yes, rather, I should have said you do know; inasmuch as either
 expression amounts to the same thing. 
 
 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Alas! you are unreasonable to expect me to be silent in a matter of such
 importance. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I don't expect it; talk on then, I shall still do it not a bit the
 less. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Will you do it? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Certainly. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Don't you see how much evil you will be causing by that course?--He
 suspects himself to be a foundling. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Do you say so? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Assuredly it will be so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Admit it. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Hold now--prithee, let that be for our enemies. Am I to admit that he is
 not my son who really is? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What! are you afraid that you can not prove that he is yours, whenever
 you please? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Because my daughter has been found? 
 
 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 No; but for a reason why it should be much sooner believed--because he
 is just like you in disposition, you will easily prove that he is your
 child; for he is exactly like you; why, he has not a single vice left
 him but you have just the same. Then, besides, no woman could have been
 the mother of such a son but yourself. But he's coming out of doors, and
 how demure! When you understand the matter, you may form your own
 conclusions.

Enter CLITIPHO from the house of CHREMES. 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 If there ever was any time, mother, when I caused you pleasure, being
 called your son by your own desire, I beseech: you to remember it, and
 now to take compassion on me in my distress. A thing I beg and
 request--do discover to me my parents. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 I conjure you, my son, not to entertain that notion in your mind, that
 you are another person's child. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I am. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Wretch that I am! Turning to CHREMES. Was it this that
 you wanted, pray? To CLITIPHO. So may you be the survivor
 of me and of him, you are my son and his; and henceforth, if you love
 me,take care that I never hear that speech from you again. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 But I say, if you fear me, take care how I find these propensities
 existing in you. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What propensities? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 If you wish to know, I'll tell you; being a trifler, an idler, a cheat,
 a glutton, a debauchee, a spendthrift--Believe me, and believe that you
 are our son. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 This is not the language of a parent. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 If you had been born from my head, Clitipho,just as they say Minerva was from Jove's, none the more
 on that account would I suffer myself to be disgraced by your
 profligacy. 
 
 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 May the Gods forbid it. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I don't know as to the Gods; 
 so far as I shall be enabled, I will carefully prevent
 it. You are seeking that which you possess--parents; that which you are
 in want of you don't seek--in what way to pay obedience to a father, and
 to preserve what he acquired by his industry. That you by trickery
 should bring before my eyes----I am ashamed to mention the unseemly word
 in her presence pointing to SOSTRATA , but you were not in
 any degree ashamed to act thus. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 aside. Alas! how thoroughly displeased I now am with
 myself! How much ashamed! nor do I know how to make a beginning to
 pacify him.

Enter MENEDEMUS from his house. 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 
 to himself. Why really, Chremes is treating his son too
 harshly and too unkindly. I'm come out, therefore, to make peace between
 them. Most opportunely I see them both. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Well, Menedemus, why don't you order my daughter to be sent for, and
 close with the offer 
 of the portion that I mentioned? 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 My husband, I entreat you not to do it. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Father, I entreat you to forgive me. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Forgive him, Chremes; do let then prevail upon you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Am I knowingly to make my property a present to Bacchis? I'll not do
 it. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Why, we would not suffer it. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 If you desire me to live, father, do forgive me. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Do, my dear Chremes. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 Come, Chremes, pray, don't be so obdurate. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What am I to do here? I see I am not allowed to carry this through, as I
 had intended. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 You are acting as becomes you. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 On this condition, then, I'll do it; if he does that which I think it
 right he should do. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Father, I'll do any thing; command me. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 You must take a wife. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Father---- 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I'll hear nothing. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 I'll take it upon myself; he shall do so. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 I don't hear any thing from him as yet. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 
 aside. I'm undone! 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Do you hesitate, Clitipho? 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Nay, just as he likes. 
 
 
 MENEDEMUS 
 He'll do it all. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 This course, while you are making a beginning, is disagreeable, and
 while you are unacquainted with it. When you have become acquainted with
 it, it will become easy. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I'll do it, father. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 My son, upon my honor I'll give you that charming girl, whom you may
 soon become attached to, the daughter of our neighbor Phanocrata. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 What! that red-haired girl, with cat's eyes, freckled face, 
 and hooked nose? I can not,
 father. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Heyday! how nice he is! You would fancy he had set his mind upon it. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 I'll name another. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Why no--since I must marry, I myself have one that I should pretty
 nearly make choice of. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 Now, son, I commend you. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 The daughter of Archonides here. 
 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 I'm quite agreeable. 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 Father, this now remains. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 What is it? 
 
 
 CLITIPHO 
 I want you to pardon Syrus for what he has done for my sake. 
 
 
 CHREMES 
 Be it so. To the Audience. Fare you well, and grant us
 your applause.